SS13 first visitation with BM...
SS13 had his first visitation with BM since coming to live with us full time. She sees him EOWE now. Well it had been two weeks and she finally gets him. What does she do with him. Nothing. She suggested a museum and when he said no, he spent the entire weekend watching Animal Planet. The horrible SD20 now has apparently moved back in with them. She was the one that DH had in the CO that she could not be around the kids. He lifted it at the last mediation since she no longer lived here. Well as soon as she could she was back. She now has 4 piercings in her face according to SS and tattoos. Yeah!! And she is spending all her time with SD15. Great influence there BM. Well SD 15 is no longer an issue for us, DH has written her off and has no interest in seeing her anymore. He tried and she won't respond so he is done.
But, SS said no one even cooked all weekend. BM made him Ramen on Saturday for dinner. At 6:00 PM yesterday DH was in her driveway waiting for SS. He came flying out at exactly 6:00 PM. Later, I asked if BM tried to talk to him about any of this and he said no, she pretty much ignored him. He said he never really saw his sister and SS because they were gone all weekend.
BM, this is what you do when you have your SS for the first weekend? He is not going to want to spend any time with her. I know it is only 9 more months of this and eventually this kid is going to say I am not going and there is nothing that she can do. We won't force him.
I so want to send her a text or an email saying, "Thanks for not doing anything fun with SS, it really makes him appreciate us so much more" And "Also, would like to thank you for not encouraging SD to see her Dad, makes our household so much calmer"... }:)
I know it would be wrong, but it would feel really good...
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Comments
Hmmm. I am kind of on the
Hmmm. I am kind of on the fence about this. We SM’s gripe because when our DH’s have the skids, they treat them like they are king of the castle and go out of their way to make sure EVERY minute is taken up with fun, fun, fun.
Is that really how you want BM to treat your SS? I get what you are saying, but I still see nothing wrong with acting like a normal family when you have the skids. KWIM?
This is not a normal family
This is not a normal family situation though. I am not asking her to be a Disney mom, but jeez, do something with him on the weekend. Take a walk, go get a yogurt, something. At the very least make dinner. Don't let him spend the whole weekend on the couch watching TV. SD15 is out all weekend hanging with her friends since BM doesnt parent her, but why couldn't SS go out with his friends then? We know they called there, since one of them called here looking for him to go geocaching with him.
Just do something with him....I want to shake her hard and tell her that she is really wasting these last few months, because soon it is over and so is your relationship with your own child.