The master of the Universe- The lying three year old!
I have a simple question and I need advice. Has any SM or soon to be or decided not to be due to the SD, experienced horrible lies being told on you by the SD? The kid has been lying off and on for a year and a half. Last night, she told such a lie that it ruined the end of the weekend and I am sitting here rethinking my entire plan for life all over again. Be reminded this child has a good life on both sides, her only problem that I could think of is that "momma and daddy" are not together. However, I am so upset and mad that I dont ever want her back around. After the lie, it made me think of all the possibilities that could happen due to her lying mouth. She could cause and entire scene of bad, bad things. Has anyone else dealt with the little liar?
- JustBlank's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
What lie did she tell? You
What lie did she tell?
You say she is three now and has been lying for a year and a half. An 18 month old child doesn't have the mental capacity to discern the truth from a lie in the way we do. Even at three years old their grasp of reality is quite hazy. My son is 3, almost 4, and still needs to be reminded of the difference between the truth and a story.
Can you give us some examples of what she's lying about so we can better help you?
Yes. I was already married by
Yes. I was already married by the time skid got really good at lying and manipulating, so it wasn't like I could just break up with him. We had a life, home, cars, bills, plans, together, so I stuck it out and it was the biggest mistake of my life. In the last year this kid and his BM have made my life hell and I think all the time how all of this could have been avoided if I had just walked away a long time ago.
Yeah, I have issues with my
Yeah, I have issues with my sd10 lying to the school and in-laws for sympathy and to get out of trouble. Vindictive lying from a school aged child.
I am having a hard time picturing a toddler with this level of mental competency. Even the smartest 2 year old doesn't have the reasoning skills to lie in that manner...their minds just don't reason that way
If you google toddlers and
If you google toddlers and lying you will see that they learn to lie well at two. My question was has anyone else had a SD tell a lie on them?
You are correct. Some kids,
You are correct. Some kids, not all, but some, depending on their developmental level, individual circumstances, etc., can manipulate the truth. Do they fully know what a lie is and that they are doing it? Not necessarily, but they do it just the same. From what I have noticed in my own life and with the work I used to do, children whose parents are not together tend to catch on to how this benefits them early on. They play one parent against each other, they learn how to feign emotional hurts in order to elicit sympathy, throw fits and tantrums when nothing is wrong, to manipulate the situation at hand, and this is a manipulation of the truth even if they do not fully know what they are doing. Can a two year old out right lie to hurt someone else? Yes. Do they comprehend the repercussions? No. Can they be coached into saying things? Yes. Which is why at such a young age, they are very rarely seen as credible witnesses in a court of law.
Her father knows that she has
Her father knows that she has been lying, huge hurtful life lies, for awhile now. I know you say that it is not possible for an 18 month old to lie, but let me assure you it happens. Last night, she sit in my house and told her father and I that her mother was ugly and the jealous queen, that she was mean and she hated me and her father ( the mother, that part is true Im sure). Anyway, as soon as she sees her mom she tells her mother that I said all the things she sit and said. Which in return led to a horrible afternoon. Ofcourse, the kid got the attention she loves to get, but the lies such as this one are non stop. A few months ago she told her mother was being beat by her SF, then said that she was just saying it. It goes on and on and on. My son is 15 and I raised him alone. I never introduced anyone into his life, so in return he had a nice functional life. Maybe this is how kids of dysfunction act in life. Im not sure, but when the mother believes it the kid feeds off of it.
Its s learned behavior. She
Its s learned behavior. She gets the attention shes looking for with the behavior. She's obviously heard those things somewhere...she didn't think that up herself.
Unless her dad and mom can get on the same page to discipline appropriately each and every time she tries this then its going to be a long road.
My comments on her age were more to determine the motivation and root of the behavior. She most likely doesn't understand the morality of a lie vs the truth.