So, DH last night dissolved into a quivering mound of post traumatic Disney Dad syndrome.

DCFS social worker had apparently been hammering him all day in regards to his 'abandonment' of SD17 and a host of other psycho babble that basically could be summed up as emotional torture and psychological mind screwing to make HER life easier by getting HIM to agree to take SD17 back.

I arrived home to find the 20something year old "social worker" who does not look old enough to shave her legs seated on my couch continuing this horse crap with all the other kids present. The three younger skids were there: objective one remove them from the house as they do NOT need to hear any of this crap, yet the social worker with her lovely BA (how in the hell do you get a bachelors of arts in psych?? That is a SCIENCE degree but I digress)felt they were "part of the family and should be involved in the decision making".

Full stop. You don't make decisions in our house honey, I don't care who you work for. They are CHILDREN and do not have any part in adult decision making. End.of.story. OSS was handed a $20.00 bill and told to escort his younger siblings to the ice cream parlor that is about 1/4 of a mile from the house. Do NOT come home for about an hour. All three skids were out the door faster than I could blink.

Objective two: regain control of DH's testes since he had obviously handed them over to the post adolescent idiot sitting in my living room. Easiest way to get him to take them back is piss him off. Reverse psychology be damned, fasted way to have a man yank his boys back from anyone is pump him up angry enough that the needs the little orbs back for the jolt of testosterone due to the man sized hissy fit that will be beginning. Now, I do love the man, so the only way to intentionally piss him off is to become what I have been accused of being for several years now.

A B!tch.

So I asked him why is it every time I turn around lately and come home there is another woman who was/is in his life, in MY house going through MY shit (as she had already done a home inspection when she arrived). Why it was that discussions/ decision making that effect ME since I OWN the home, seem to be held without my being present.

Did not even take to a count of three and he blew. Balls firmly reattached to his person. Yes, I know my man. What followed was a stream of venting frustration vomiting forth from a man who has been pushed entirely too far in a very short period. And I sat there and took it. Let him vent, spew and talk trash. When he ran out of steam I asked if he felt better. Yep. Good, now that you have your balls back and aren't weeping into your tea, lets talk real life.

Social worker was advised, by myself, the home owner, that SD17 was forcibly removed by the police department and would not be welcome back into my home. If her father caved into their psycho BS crap of abandonment, he would have to find a new place for himself and princess to live. I also advised her that I thought the following:

Extremely poor taste and judgement to involve minor children in a legal issue. In fact considering she is in the psych field and they are discussing a child in her "care" I was willing to bet it was a breach of HIPAA for her to be discussing SD17 in front of the other children. That shut up all her psycho babble about making children feel like a part of the family by having some decision making control. I am fairly certain she will be combing the HIPAA directives to see if she did breach them.

Poor ethics and morality to expect a minor child to live with their abuser, not just live with the abuser but welcome them back with open arms and share a room with said abuser. I did listen to you ladies, asked her if I really needed to go to court to get another RO to prohibit SD17 from being around the three younger kids to get it through her head that she was not coming back. After all the kid did first steal my key, then had burglary charges for my house, now this is assault within my home so I did not think the judge would have ANY problem giving me one. The social worker left.

This morning we got a call from her supervisor who requested to come out and talk to myself and DH. DH called his parents who took the younger skids for the day, they will be home around six this evening. Ms. Nancy (the supervisor) and the near teen bimbo showed up at 930.

A long discussion was held. Over coffee. Final determination is that SD17 will NOT be returning. According to Ms Nancy sd17 has been informed she is not welcome back in the house after her behavior and is "devastated and sorry". When Ms. Nancy was pressed about "is she sorry she broke the rules and hit her sister, or is she sorry she got caught and is being punished" she admitted the vibe she got from SD17 was she was sorry she got caught and was being punished, that she is the victim in this whole thing, she never did anything wrong, I am just mean and her dad is "under my spell".

Yeah, right.

Ms Nancy was concerned about DH's blow up last night in front of the twit, and she was advised that I intentionally goaded him into blowing up. That he was psychologically beaten down all day by her associate and was not thinking, he was reacting emotionally not taking into consideration the other three children he was responsible for, only feeding into the guilt that was being shoveled at him over one of the four. He vented, without any of the kids being present, which was something I not only gave him the opportunity to do, but damn near shoved him into doing, a stress relief so he could let it all out. She asked, and was assured that I have never had a moments worry about his temper, him being violent etc. Thought never crossed my mind in all our years together, which was why I felt safe goading him into a blow up.

As of now, nothing has changed from before the twit decided to torture DH yesterday. Sd17 will complete her 21 days in house at DJJ. She will move to a halfway house/ foster home for the remaining 15 days she has until she turns the age of 18. She can then petition the court to drop her from the two RO's that keep her and her mother apart, once dropped from the RO's she can go live with mommy. DCFS will not support her in getting the RO dropped prior to her 18th bday due to feeling that BM is a large part of sd17s issues and is a negative influence.

DH agreed to family counseling between himself and sd17 while she is in lockup and while she is in the hwh/foster home, so long as the intent of the sessions is not a reunification (aka her moving 'home' with him). I was asked by Ms. Nancy if I would attend, and I advised her that IF sd17 herself called and asked me to attend, due to honestly wanting to work on our relationship, I would consider it. Ms Nancy was quite honest when she told me not to hold my breath, I had to laugh and told her I gave up hoping for that kid to like/accept me years ago. That I just hoped for a truce so DH did not end up feeling like the knot in the center of a tug-of-war rope.

When Ms Nancy and the twit left DH and I had a chat. I pointed out to him all of this was a result of years upon years of those kids being allowed adult status and being waited on hand and foot. Whatever they wanted was simply handed to them, they deserved it just because they were 'innocent victims of divorce' and they were breathing.

He says he sees it. Says that he has been working on reversing it and I can honestly say over the past few weeks he really has been. But I did, gently, remind him that if ever he feels 'weak' and wants to give in and be Disney Daddy again... imagine another kid being hauled off to DJJ due to poor parenting and lack of respect, boundaries and morals.

He is out in the garage, banging away on something. At this point I think the man just needs time to think and something to do with his hands. I'm willing to bet all he is doing is pounding nail after nail into a board. But if it helps him, great. I imagine these last few days have been very hard on him, it can not be easy to admit you failed with a child nor to issue the edict that the child is no longer welcome. That you have to kick that kid to the curb to protect your other children.