OSS17 is graduating in a few months. In case you don't remember this kid is autistic most likely due to alcohol / drugs BM used while pregnant. BM has had no parental rights since SS was about 2 yrs old. The only visitation she gets is a couple of times a year with the psychiatrist in her office. BM probably only takes up 1 visit a year. A few months ago BM's grandparent was turning 90. BM's mom invited SS and SO's mom to come to the party (SS is currently living with SO's mom (G-ma) until he graduates due to SO being in the military and us not wanting him to change schools since he was actually on track to graduate). BM behaved her self at the party - a 1st for her. Her side of the family made it a very nice visit. G-ma is super sweet and super religious and she felt it was her duty to bring SS. She did hide it from SO for a couple of weeks after. SO was PISSED.

Anyway, fast forward to planning graduation. SS now thinks that BM is getting better and he asked if she was coming to graduation. We were planning on sending her his graduation pictures and announcement after the fact, so that she couldn't ruin it for him. Gma now wants to invite BM and BM's family for SS to her TINY ASS HOUSE for the graduation party. I told her my concerns- mostly because we won't have SS's guardianship established yet, social security will be reaching out to her soon since we are going for his benefits, and I am terrified she will get her claws in him. SS may be almost 18 but he is emotionally about 11-12. If you look at it like an 11 or 12 yr old thinking mommy is all better now and wants me- it is a scary thought. This woman has gone on to have 7 more children- 5 survived infancy - 2 are completely blind, one is forever hooked up to tubes, all because she is an addict that keeps having kids.

My suggestion to stop SO's mom from inviting them to the house was to allow them an hour before the ceremony someplace public and supervised- coffee shop or something- then everyone to the graduation and then we take him home and they don't follow. We are literally packing SS up and he is moving with us 2 days after he graduates.

Does anyone else have any other suggestions? I really don't want to even see this woman. I have a REALLY hard time keeping my mouth shut and I am fiercely protective of my family... and SS is my family now. She is a crazy one though and SO has warned me she is violent and will attack. SO doesn't want her anywhere around but realized who his mother is, and the saint she is, and knows he won't win this one with her. She has been the primary parent to SS for the last 4 years... if it is important to her, we have to make something work that will ease her conscious.