Thanksgiving
DH and I were talking about his lawyer again... it always seems to happen when that bill comes in the mail! LOL -- anyway BM's lawyer is refusing to acknowledge our lawyer again. Big freaking surprise! So just based on how slow things are to get court dates, we know that it will be unlikely that if we push things, we would even get a court date before Thanksgiving and even if we did, it would be so close that flights would be astronomical if we were to book one. ( ** On a side note, why is it so freaking expensive to fly around Thanksgiving? I swear that is the worst holiday!!**)
We have no idea if BM will agree to more parenting time, we have no idea if the judge will award DH more parenting time, we just don't know. It may be decided that after more than 30K in lawyer's fees we are stuck with 34 days a year. Also, BM doesn't have to let us see SS just because we come to the state. The judge told her to not withhold him from DH if we go to SS's state but there is nothing in the order saying that she has to hand him to us.
So... the big question is, do we make the drive to the Midwest for Thanksgiving again this year? My kids will be with me and we will have SS18 so we would have to take the gas guzzling gigantic SUV vs. my awesome hybrid that we usually drive when we go. I will have to miss probably 3 days from work and I don't have anymore vacation time this year (we used my vacation up for our wedding and spring break). I can take the time, just no pay. Since there is no guarantee that BM will let us even see him, it could all be a rather costly waste when you factor the cost of the gas (1300 mile trip each way), hotel, income loss, etc.
The plus side to going would be we get to see MIL ( I adore her!), DH's aunts (the best!), my SIL and her fiancée (Love!), my other SIL and BIL and their kids (Exciting- and my DD loves her cousins so much!). So while we might not see SS, which is why we would make the trip we would see the rest of the family. However, we are also planning a big spring break vacation with all of them in March so it's not like it would be forever until we saw them again.
I just know that DH would be in a miserable mood if we went all that way and didn't see SSstb14. I am not sure I want to deal with a pissy, heartbroken DH. Whereas if we didn't go to begin with it wouldn't be so in his face and my family is pretty freaking awesome and always has a wonderful Thanksgiving.
Ugh... what to do??? Please don't say talk to BM, that is not even an option unfortunately!
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NOPE stay at home, make your
NOPE stay at home, make your own Turkey, drink wine, watch parades, awwwwww Sheer Bliss.
Facetime with everyone
Don't go. You'd just be
Don't go. You'd just be financing disappointment. Instead, organize a fabulous Thanksgiving at home. Make some great holiday memories for everyone who is able to be there, and spend the winter fighting the good fight and planning a wonderful spring break vacation.
As Spock said, The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few... or the one.
When we became parents is
When we became parents is when we stopped the running across the country during the holidays. It was very expensive, time consumming but more than that NONE of us actually enjoyed the holidays. Oh the family members who only lived 2miles apart sure did...NOT US.
It became the best decision ever. We became grownup's...having our own home, our young kids maybe a pet or two. Heck Thanksgiving across country means Leave Tue(take off work)...and arriving late Wed night feeling like you rode in on a covered wagon being pulled by 2 half dead ox and 1 broken wheel. You know the feeling...
The kids are bouncing off the walls and all you want is two hot toddies, warm shower and 2 days of sleep.
Thanksgiving is a blur, Friday you start to feel alive JUST in enough time to load up the bags again to be on the road Saturday because the kids have to go to school Monday and it's back to work for you and DH.
Nope, we gave that crazines up years ago. No regrets either...There was something very liberating and mature to finally realize HEY wait a minute, dh and the kids are my family and THIS is our home. Our duty is to make our holidays memoriable for OUR kids just like our parents did for us.
I really don't mind that part
I really don't mind that part. Family is so important to me- probably due to the fact that I have very little biological family. There are a lot of adoptions with my family. Plus, my MIL is awesome and would have a hot toddie waiting for me! I feel like if I am connecting them with family and celebrating together, they will remember those holiday's the most.