My parents divorced when I was 8. My dad's girlfriend moved in with us when I was 10, and around that time my mom remarried. My parents never bad mouthed each other, and initially my mom insisted that I stay with my dad because she felt it was better that way. As I grew up both parents let me decide more and more where to spend my time, but they always came to an agreement beforehand in a civilized manner.

Now I'm on my own and married with three step-kids. Over the last six years though I've been there for them more than thier own fathers (two different ones) one hasnt even called his son and/or daughter in at least three years, and both have told me they dont care if the ever see him again. SS17's BF keeps in contact with him regularly but hardly gets to see him living in a different state and not having a great financial situation.

Thier mother never denied either of them visitation even when they were both behind on child support and right now if we took the one to court again he would likely go to jail for falling behind AGAIN the BF of SS17 pays what he can, which technically isnt what he's supposed to but we dont press.

Me and my wife established right away with them even before we were married that the kids were to obey me like they would her. At first they pushed of course being as I wasnt "their dad" but they quickly figured out that at all times me and her would be in agreement. Of course in front of them we were and if there was anything we werent in agreement on we discuss it out of earshot of the kids.