Scheduling
Having some scheduling issues. Background is we have had a set custody schedule for the past year (ish) since dh first went to court. Since bm moved lost get job and just generally has been a crazy, awful annoying pos that has changed a million times in the past month or two. Every other day something else. We wrote up a year schedule they could agree to since the old schedule doesn't work anymore and sign because ss is in school and we should all be able to plan our years without scheduling arguments every week. They both signed. It didn't get followed And she decided she couldn't handle her one dropped a week on Mondays because of traffic. So we wrote up another one with that change, they both signed it. It basically says we agree to this schedule, to write up new co papers so the court has our updated schedule and to talk before may for next year's schedule. So he is filling out new paperwork to turn into court that they can sign. Now one of our days is the schedule that they both signed and has copies off is the 15th of Oct. He contacted her about it and she is saying since she has weekends we can't have both Halloween and the 15th. It's one or the other. And I told him at this point it's not her choice. She can follow the schedule they both signed and give us our days, take him to court over it or he can call the cops on her next weekend because according the old co it is our weekend.
Is that wrong? She was not forced to sign. She has a copy to herself. The days are clearly marked mom and dad. And I think it would hold up in court pretty well. Right?
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Comments
Get the "we" out and let this
Get the "we" out and let this be the father's battle. I'm guessing you're doing all the rewrites, not him. If he wants to battle the crazy, let go and let him do the work. And frankly with this kind of crazy, it's a lost cause. Put your energy into feeding the homeless or rescuing cats and dogs. At least they'll appreciate it.
Very wise advice. I wrote all
Very wise advice. I wrote all of DH's documents for court because I am better with words but it wore me emotionally thin and it caused a lot of frustration and arguments. It's his battle and while you care about your husband and want to help, it's ultimately his responsibility to take care of dealings with skid and BM.
We share a car, which is my
We share a car, which is my rental but he helps me pay for so scheduling affects my whole life. In the situation were currently in I can't ignore it.
I respect your choices and
I respect your choices and opinions but all I was wondering is, would the document ans schedule they both signed hold up in court if it's not in a court order or judgement yet?
No, documents that have not
No, documents that have not been filed with the court will not "hold up in court." As far as the court is concerned, the only schedule either parent must follow is the one filed with the court.
The police will usually not get directly involved in a custody dispute with a court order - they will definitely not get involved in one without a court order.
DH and BM need to file the schedule with the court. If BM does not follow it, DH needs to file contempt charges each and every time. He also needs to understand that the court may never sanction BM in any way for not following the schedule.
The CO should be followed
The CO should be followed until changed UNLESS there is written agreements as to how it would be changed BUT this should be an every once in a while exception. For example if one parent gets every other weekend BUT something goes on and they need it changed then both parents agree that instead of weekend A it will be weekend B.
Stop letting BM pull this BS. It's not fair to the child on top of any of you guys. I'm not sure who has primary but if it's BM and she keeps requesting changes then you tell her no UNLESS it works for you guys. If DH is taking over more time and showing he is the more dependable parent then he needs to get primary.
If DH has primary and she's repeatedly requesting time changes he needs to tell her no and if she fails to be where she is suppose to be document and then go in to reduce her time.
Whatever the point is the kids need stability and that's what a CO is about. It's different if parents co-parent so well and are able to be so flexible but I'm guessing that's not the case here. I'm guessing someone is dropping the ball somewhere and it's putting strain on the other parent.
Yes, yes and yes to all this.
Yes, yes and yes to all this. He finally got the new CO signed by them both with new schedule, getting dropped off to the judge hopefully monday. All that's left is agree on a meeting point that's halfway and any other little things that come up through the year but it should be mostly set till next June! Yay.
He has been documenting an will continue to do so. Then of course next year I'm sure she'll try and pull something again... but that's next year. I can finally finalize all my little vacation plans
And yes, the whole point is stability for the child. I wish certain people understood that **cough** But if he gets it with us mon-fri, 1 weekend a month and half holidays then I feel like it's a good stable foundation for him no matter what's happening on the other end.