Running out of things to say
**I'm new to this blogging site and new to blogging, so I don't know all the "rules" and lingo. Please feel free to correct or school me if I mess up.
So my 3 SD live with us and during the summer they are supposed to be with their BM. So here it is the 22nd on June and she has spent a total of 32hours, yes HOURS with her kids!! I'm not complaining by any means. When they are home I know they are safe, getting feed, bathed and sleep in beds. I am running out of things to tell my SDs. They still ask "How many more days till we go to mom's" all the time. I'm out of things to say and to tell the truth I'm sick of making things up to tell them. I'd really like to tell the truth and just say "Never bc she is too busy with her on-again/off-again BF!" But I can't just say that to a 9,6 or 5yr old. What am I to tell them when they ask?
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He too covers for BM or say
He too covers for BM or say "i don't know why she isn't answering the phone" We are both guilty of covering for her. All 3 SDs are seeing that BM doesn't want to spend time with them, and the SD5 has called BM out several times on her excuses and has told BM that it's bc she just doesn't care. And that was so hard to hear SD5 to say that day. I almost cried when it was said. When SDs do get to go visit BM they come home sad bc they watched TV all day while BM was on Facebook talking to guys (SD9's words)
Tell them that mommy loves
Tell them that mommy loves them and misses them and wishes she could see them but unfortunately she has some things to do that are taking longer then exspected. Tell them that once mommy calls and says she is ready you will let them know. Saying this puts it back on BM's shoulders...that way they dont blame you for her neglect. (kids love to blame stepparents for bioparents short comings)
I know it is frustrating but they are still to young to be told the cold hard realistic facts. It would cause them harm....when they are older then maybe a more direct conversation would be approrpiate but then again maybe not....usually by the time a kid is old enough for this talk they have figured it out themselves anyway.
Its just so frustrating to be
Its just so frustrating to be faced with the same questions day in and day out. I don't like covering for anyone much less the BM, and telling them over and over the something makes my heart hurt for them. Being someone that can't have children of my own makes it hard for me to understand why and how a BM can do this to their kids. It's one thing to send your kids away for camp and not see them for a week, but another for you to go weeks and months on end without even returning a heartfelt voice message from your crying 6 yr old. We let them call her all the time and the BM never answers the phone or returns the calls, but will however send a txt msg at 2am saying to tell the girls that she loves them. its like WOW really? I wish the BM could see what effects this is having on them. But it is also sad when they do get to see the BM. LIke this weekend, yes Father's day weekend, she claimed, was the only weekend she would have free (she works from home M-F as well). She comes by the house to get them and then they all of a sudden didn't want to go with her. SD6 cried and wanted to stay with me, SD9 (who is biologically not my husbands) said she had other plans and her mother wasn't included so she could leave without her, and that leaves SD5 she wanted to go but didn't want to leave right then. BM then txts 2hrs later asking if we could pick them up. Keep in mind she was supposed to get them at 6pm and didn't show till 730pm and now its almost 10pm. Halfway to BMs house she txt saying never mind that they are asleep. This happens every time she does get them. SD9 understands whats going on and I hear her and get on to her all the time telling her sisters that their moms doesn't love them. It is just hard, bc I see what it is doing to them, and I can't understand why any mother would do this to their kids.
i also can't understand why
i also can't understand why these bms leave their children nd chose other. men over their own kids. even most mammals don't abandon their babies. u shouldn't make excuses for her just tell thekids that their mom loves them but has a lot Going on. my skids don't ask why they dont see their mom or why she only calls like 2 a month. but they are older.
Thank you all for the
Thank you all for the responses! And I agree that it is wrong to lie to them and cover for their BM, and it is annoying too. I just never wanted to hurt them, and with one SD being 9, she knows what is really going on, and asks me why her mom doesn't love her. That is sad! I have, and so has my DH, started saying "well lets just call mom and see..." and when we let them call they get her voice mail. All 3 of them I think understand whats going on more then I give them credit for. It is just so sad to see them cry and hear them ask about her when she could care less about them.