After several tense weeks we addressed concerns with the skids. We explained why I disconnected and was giving them space. It had nothing to do with not liking them, but everything to do with their open non-acceptance of us. We addressed every issue of concern from them not liking the food at our house to them not liking me. We discussed expectations of honesty and at least trying to blend. SS10 started trying. SD14, not so much.

SD14 seems so fake. She will say everything is fine, but tell friends and BM how awful we are. She treats DH like garbage, calling names and being a brat when she doesn't get her way. A lot of her behavior is typical 14yo crap. It just bothers us that she refuses to make an effort to make things work, to accept that DH has moved on with life and I am part of it. She will acknowledge her stepsisters, but I am just "dad's wife". I I don't need accolades and shouldn't care that she won't refer to me as step-mom. It just seems that the reference of "my dad's wife" is almost an insult. My bios do not refer to DH has my mom's husband. They say he is their step-dad. I guess I am reading in to her reference and putting it in the greater context of her lack of acceptance.

She has no issue supporting her BM and her bf. (This is a relationship we would LOVE to see work out!) Why the double standard?

It is to a point that I think DH should give up on her and just continue fighting for SS10. He is at least making an effort.