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Urgent : Presbyterian advice needed

Lady.Tremaine's picture

Submitted by Lady.Tremaine on Sat, 11/23/2019 - 10:52am

My husband and I are both non religious. We were raised different religions ( national Catholic and Jewish) but we both just believe in doing the right thing - god involved or not

 

Well today is SD4s baptism which BM sprung on us this week. We are both a little annoyed that she's pushing religion on but whatever. Anyways we are BOTH invited to go but

1. Is DH expected to participate ? I know for babies there's the whole promise thing but I don't know the rules for toddlers

2. If he is how do I expect this to not become an episode of curb your enthusiasm? He can be very snarky snarky and it could snowball so easily. BM has not really told us anything. 

 

 

 

Please help *help*

Comments

Lady.Tremaine's picture

Submitted by Lady.Tremaine on Sat, 11/23/2019 - 11:14am

This is in a few hours. Also BM would be the last to say anything. I honestly think she's at a win-win here. 

If we don't show then she gets to play the single mom card. If we do she may know about above but just isn't saying anything

I would definitely not call the church as that will only backfire here. 

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Sat, 11/23/2019 - 11:59am

I’m not sure how it will backfire. He calls the church and says my child is due to be babtised this afternoon and I was raised in the Jewish faith and don’t know how the ceremony goes, could you talk me through what will happen and if I would be a part of this.

He can also ask about the general values of this church or perhaps arrange to have a meeting eith the pastor sometime soon to learn what his child will be learning. 

GoingWicked's picture

Submitted by GoingWicked on Sat, 11/23/2019 - 11:38am

I don't think you're making way too big of a deal out of this, you all aren't religious, don't worry about it.  If you want to go, then go.

 I think you should be more concerned about what SD thinks about you not being there (she's 4, frankly I don't think she'll care) rather than what a bunch of people you don't know think about you.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Sat, 11/23/2019 - 12:20pm

This sounds like you are more concerned than your husband. Let him deal with things how he wants to. 

BM probably didn’t even expect him to show up considering he skipped the last one. I doubt he will have a role in the ceremony and he can always refuse a role if he wants to. 

If he goes and is snide or makes snappy remarks that is on him to deal with.

If he misses the ceremony he can explain to the kids why. Explaining to the children that there are a variety of views about god and religion is not too complex even for a 4 year old and seems like it would fit with you and your husband’s philosophies.