So my dd is 16 and I've been on her to find a job the rules are close enough she can walk (she won't have her license for 6 more months we have one car and it's already shared between 2 adults and she can't count on her dad) grades come first so full time in the summer is fine part time during school grades drop job goes. She's been completely unmotivated to do more than fill out a few online applications, and skipped at least 4 places we practically live on top of no follow up calls or in person drop ins to see if a position is available and the person hiring is available (and yes I've told her this is important I've hired people and those things make a difference) But she's not motivated as she doesn't have anything she has to pay for and she's used to going without since were usually broke. Well her cell is broke useable ish but broke she actually woke me up after I worked 3rds at 9 am to tell me to take her to go get it fixed. I yelled at her that if there was no gushing blood exposed bone cardiac arrest or house on fire she could stuff her broken phone come up with the 100$ insurance deductible to get it replaced. Apparently she then tried to "tell" my SO to take her to the cell phone place to get it fixed, he told her #1 she's a kid and doesn't get to "tell" us adults what to do and #2 it is 100$ she has to come up with to replace it. The next day she complains again about taking her to get it fixed I lost it "What part of YOU have to have 100$ to replace it are you not getting? Your brother lost his I haven't replaced it even with his old phone we still have because this is how life works you break it you lose it you work to replace it he's mowing your grandpa's to get the money where's your job?"
Her: "I don't want it replaced just fixed they can do that at the store it's just a button."
Me:"No that's not how it works I told you that it's long past under warranty they don't repair them there anyway, it is 100$ to get a replacement that is your only option get a job get money."
Her "fine I'll call grandpa and take over mowing "
My DS "oh no you won't that's my job you lost it when you kept making excuses why you didn't need to last year now it's mine get your own job."
DD pouts I hear her talking to her bf trying to get the money from him then she found out he lost yet another job (I really can't wait for that break up) then she was telling him she'd ask her dad (who can't even keep up with cs but is good if he can about helping with extra necessities) so I text the ex whats up and the lesson she's to learn is get a job he agrees and will not give her the $ and tell her the same get a job. I've also called the grandparents if she wants $ she works for it they will give her work to earn it no hand outs. If my 11 year old ds can figure out that if he wants new video games or electronics and loses his phone and has to replace it he makes a choice. He knows mowing will only last so long so he has a choice replace his phone or buy knew things he's choosing to keep his job and replace his own phone he'll be proud I'm sure when he accomplishes it.
Moral is I've been looking for a way to get it through my ds's head why she needs a job not just to shut mom up but to start her on the rest of the things she needs to be a successful adult, I'm glad her phone broke I think it will work they can't bank on Christmas this year for stuff without great grades.
SO liked how I handled it and plans to do similar with his kids when they are older I killed to birds with one broken phone lol got the motivavtion my ds needs and set an example for SO and my son.