How much more do I have to take?

Okay, so most of you know my situation by now, and so I ask you, what the hell am I getting myself into? SS8 lies continously and no matter what I have tried, it hasn't worked. We have tried nasty tasting things in his mouth, sentences, soap, spankings, groundings, ect... He can't use the excuse that he doesn't get any attention, I am a stay at home mother and spend quite a bit of time with all my boys. DH spends time when he home. He is also very materialistic and lazy. SS9 is diagnosed w/ ODD and can be very hard to put up with. Mostly, though, he isn't so bad, though sometimes I have had enough. I don't know ladies, what can I do? This is all learned behavior from BM and the counslers are at a loss as well. They haven't seen BM in over a year and have lived with us for over 2. Any suggestions would be a great help.

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dont think i can help i have

dont think i can help i have been a sm to 2 girls for almost 7 years kids are estranged from bm .. sd12 has been lying to me for years and its coming to a head .. have been on net all day looking up tips for kids who lie .. they suggest not to get upset.. angry etc which is really difficult as the trust is completely gone .. we have been tearing our hair out with her and it has got to the point where she has no personal belongings as they have been taken away .. i have noone to talk to as my hubby works away and dont want to burden friends family with dramas.. wish their mother was sane so that i could hand her back .. thats how i feel

I feel your pain. I have a

I feel your pain. I have a SS8 who lies and lies and lies.....We've tried everything we can think of. Sorry I'm no help, but I am very interested to see what other suggest.

If I wasn't so in love with my Husband........

Hang in there.....

that seems to be what everyone keeps telling me so maybe it will work for you also. I feel some of your pain haveng a child with Inattentive ADD, Global Developmental Delay with low tone and now we are going to the Dr today they think he may have a mood disorder or ODD.
Take it one day at a time. My thoughts are with you.

Live for today,you may not have a tommorow

Thanks Ladies

I have found something I think might help. At least it couldn't hurt. About a month ago I had called a Karate Class and spoke to the man who owned it. I was a little uncertain at first b/c I don't want SS's to think they can use this knowledge to beat people up. At any rate, I talked with the guy today and let the kids meet him and I am very impressed with his expectations. He made it very clear that what they did outside of his class was the same as if they were in it and they would be dealt with accordingly. He gave them a few rules, such as no lying, hitting, or backtalking and promised to have more when they attend their first class. Here's to hoping it works!! Since they want it so bad, I think it may help for a little while.

IF IT WAS EASY, EVERYONE WOULD DO IT.

An idea ...

I can't take credit for this ... the lying bag.

You are grounded until you complete the following assignment. If you
are on family outings, you must take the assignment and work on it
quietly until it is finished (for example: visits to grandma or Uncle
Jamie's, dinner with mom and Sanders, etc). There will be no playtime
regardless of where you are until the assignment is completed. You
will decide how long you are grounded by how quickly you complete this
assignment. You are to interview 10 adults in person and ask them the
following questions:

1. Why is it not good to lie?

2. How should you handle a situation when you are tempted to lie?

3. What do other people think when they realize you have lied?

4. How do you feel when you realize someone has lied to you?

5. Describe a situation where you lied?

6. Describe a situation where someone has lied to you.

You personally have to record the answers on each card and then have
the adult sign and date the card.

Next time you catch them, you give them the same instructions, only
add 2 more questions and 5 more adults. You add to the instructions
that when you interview the next set of of adults (15), 5 of them have
to be from the first group that you interviewed.

Just remember that you let them know that they do not have to tell
what it is for, but when folks start getting asked these questions,
the kid is embarrassed, that's why it has to be done face to face.

One trick to watch on the lying thing. If the adult they are
interviewing asks, "What are you doing this for?" and the child
answers, "A school project." BAM... they just got the lying bag again
with 5 more adults to interview and 2 more questions. So, you do have
to pay attention and make sure that the child is not lying to the
adult they are interviewing.

Grounding means no books, no movies, no TV, no computer, no phone
privileges, no friends, no video games, no watching others play video
games. You are confined to the house unless in the company of a
parent or step parent. The items that you are allowed to work on
outside of this assignment are school work and household chores.
School work should be done BEFORE working on the assignment. If you
have any questions, please ask now.

All of your answers from the adults that you write down must be
clearly and neatly written. If the assignment is messy and
unorganized, it must be redone. You are not required to take the assignment to school.

If you need help with interviewing an adult in person, please ask
another adult. The adult will take you when they have the time. This
may not always on your time schedule. An Adult is defined as anyone
over the age of 21.

haven't tried this myself, but it sounds like a good idea.

~ Katrina