We got the girls at the beginning of March and couldn't get the child support stopped till last week. We have papers filed in North Carolina (where BM lives) to get the child support back that we had to pay her since March. Then the state of Georgia says the girls have to live here 6 months before they are considered residents of Georgia and we can file for CS here. Or we can go back to North Carolina now and take her to court for child support.

The problem is North Carolina say "do it in Georgia"
And Georgia says "do it in North Carolina"

The lawyer say to wait six months or sue for full custody now.

Don't fear the thorns among the Roses, but be greatful for the Roses among the thorns

Four years ago BM moved an hour away and left SD with us. Husband didn't ask for CS because he didn't want to rock the boat and he didn't want it to turn into a court battle over SD. In other words, he'd rather have SD and get no support than not have her and pay support. I guess I can understand that, but when I think at a minimum BM would have had to pay us $18,000 for the past four years and now we have to pay CS, it makes me steamed.

Elizabeth - how did everything go yesterday?

If you divorce and there's a legal custody case you have no choice but to file CS. The court will perhaps wave it upon request, but that's unusual and both parties have to agree. I think if someone does that then they should add wording to protect themselves in the event custody goes back for any reason. Don't know if that would hold up in court, but hopefully, that way you don't wave off CS to be nice, then have a vindictive or greedy ex decide not to return the favor. My exH and I didn't actually want anything to do with the CS agency. I think if someone is paying you directly, and you are both keeping track then that should be up to you. But unfortunately, if it doesn't go through them it's seen as a nice gift and it's up to the recipient to tell CS that they aren't owed it again. (I had to write a notarized letter for my exH that he was all caught up about a year after we divorced because CS didn't count the money he paid out by check to me the few months before it started coming out of his pay. Isn't he lucky I'm fair!)

Most of the problems I see are with single parents. My nephew's GF never filed til this year, (daughter's 5) because they were on again/off again now that they're done (who knows for sure.) Hopefully she won't file for back CS, in this case I don't think that would be fair, since he was contributing and living with her some of that time. Plus my nephew can't keep a job anyway, has addiction problems etc, and will be lucky to keep up from this point on.

My niece (his sister) just broke up with her long time BF, who is being really upfront with her. He WANTS her to file CS, so that she won't come back years later on him for back CS should their relationship become even more strained. She is being passive on this, doesn't want to be bothered, she's "just so tired all the time." She's not a very engaged BM.

My DH paid out 500/month when he had shared parenting and had SD every Thur-Mon. BM only pays 365/month now that DH has full legal/physical custody and she sees SD EOW and Weds (when it's convenient.) We did file for a change in CS pending the judgment of the motion to terminate/moderate the shared parenting agreement, so that was granted when BM conceded custody and the shared parenting agreement was null and void. Even though that money isn't very much since we pay everything else (except BM's supposed to pay some medical costs, like 30 %- but she never has yet) I'm sure it hit BM pretty hard as it was a 865 drop in her income every month. That kinda felt good Even though we're just now, a year later, probably getting to feel the difference after the year long custody case financial hit.

I really feel for people in different states. That's just nuts that you have to wait SIX MONTHS. BM could just have 6 months off, collect all that money, then change her mind over and over.

"Om Tare Tutare Ture Mama Ayurpunye Jnana Putin Kuru Svaha"
~Sita Tara Mantra

My DH has custody of SD11 and SD7. At the time he just wanted the kids so he didn't make her pay anything. He was scared she'd fight the custody arrangement written in the divorce. He was able to put some language in there that she was responsible for daycare (SD was 3 at the time) and things like that but waived child support.

Very soon after I entered the picture things went from bad to ugly. He ended up in mediation because she didn't follow ANY part of the divorce and no boundaries were in place. He pushed the support issue and gave her longer weekends. She agreed to a "reduced" amount of child support($325/month) and he was able to get past support once his home sold because of the year she didn't pay for daycare!

where skid came to live with us, my DH is waiting with baited breath to nail his ex to the wall the way she did with us and cut her absolutely NO breaks, the way she did with us. she would more than likely end up paying us more per month than what we pay her (if you can believe THAT), because - and get this - she makes more money than my DH! LOL and i'm not laughing because she makes more, i'm laughing because wouldn't that just be too sweet?

however, on second thought, i'd have a surly miserable and pissed off teenager to deal with on a daily basis. hmmmmm....

Just trying to be a Stepmom without getting Stepped On.

Dh has been the primary residence for 7 years now and we've never received CS. Bm pays half of the uncovered medical and dental bills and that's it.

If fact, in the beginning, when ss first came to live with us, we still paid Bm CS for a pretty long while because Dh wanted her to agree to the custody change. In order to do that, we basically had to pay her for us to keep ss, which was in ss's best interest to be with us.
Later, we had the papers drawn up to stop all CS that we were paying her.

Bm has never paid us CS and it never went through the CS agency, ever.

Dawn

BB is "disabled", doesn't keep her from anything but work though- so we get SDs stipen from the gov. and BB is ordered to pay for 50% of medical bills- haven't seen a dime for those but soon will........

There is no reason where logic does not exist