BM: "SD14 does not need to see a psychologist"
The police interviewed SD14 this week after I pressed charges for assault.
SD doesn't care. At first she lied about slapping me until fiance told her to stop lying to the police.
She has been cautioned by the police (in the presence of her parents) and warned she will be in big trouble if she ever again hits someone else.
The police made recommendations to her parents about psychological help.
BM has decided no.
Her daughter is not crazy, she did nothing wrong. There will be no psychological help for SD14.
Fiance is furious. He wants SD to see a psychologist.
They have joint decision making on medical issues and if someone says no, there is no intervention.
I had to block BM's phone number after she sent me a string of rude text messages.
BM wins.
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Comments
No, BM doesn't win. She is
No, BM doesn't win. She is allowing a feral child loose on the world and will be judged accordingly. People will look at SD and say "What the h*** did her mother do there?" No one says "Oh poor baby. She must have a Stepmother and obviously she is evil." Well if they do they aren't worth it. As for BM thinking her daughter isn't crazy, well she isn't crazy. People see therapists for all kinds of things.
Moving out is a good idea as well. You get your own space and DH finds out what life will be like handling his 2 girls alone. If Sd12s attitude changes to Miss Unicornsandfairydust he may understand this is about control. SD12 wanting to run his life. And one way to change that is for him to apply the same rules SD uses against her.
When she has friends over he should walk in the room and make some craptastic remark about one of her friends under his breath so SD can hear him. He should pout and sulk and tell SD she can't have friends over because he doesn't like them. When she gets pissy he can slam it back at her... You decided to hate my friends I have decided to hate yours. I want your friends out of my house NOW! See? Not so nice having someone else deciding your relationships is it?
I want to see what is going
I want to see what is going to happen with his SD's.
SD11 is a great kid. I like her.
SD14? First class B.
I want to see if fiance has her over and how he manages these girls on his own.
It was felt like a weight off my shoulders to not live with him.
Of course BM doesn't want
Of course BM doesn't want intervention. BM is the one who taught her to hit! BM doesn't win, she actually lost. She couldn't control the urge to send you hateful messages and didn't get a rise out of you. Letti wins! I wish you the best with your move and I agree with everything you're doing.
"Dear Lawyer, please find
"Dear Lawyer, please find attached the police report of SD assaulting my wife and BM's refusal to have SD see a therapist. What can be done about this? My daughter needs help now, before she becomes more violent and ruins her life. Thanks! -DH"
I'm glad someone said this.
I'm glad someone said this.
This is exactly what you need to do. If possible you could even take the kid for a "check up" with a medical doctor and bring up the issues. They might also recommend a therapist.
BM can refuse to a point but with professionals saying the kid needs to see someone it starts to eat away at her ability to stop it. She is boarding on medical neglect here and causing harm to the child long term.
A child assaulting anyone is a big deal. It's not something that needs to be ignored.
There are few things that
There are few things that piss me off more than people who say therapy is only for crazy people... I wasn't crazy because I needed grief counseling. Therapy is for many things and for children it can be an amazing tool to help them learn how to cope with stress and grow into a healthy person. BM is an ignorant idiot.
I agree with brisket. Your SO
I agree with brisket. Your SO needs to be proactive about this and get his daughter the help she needs. He is doing her (and your relationship) a disservice if he just accepts "no" from BM. Is there any way to have counseling made a condition to the charges not being fully pursued?