BM is Unemployed AGAIN
I'm not entirely sure how many blogs I have posted with this or a similar title, but here we go again.
Before I jump into that, I want to thank everyone for your worda on my last blog. I actually had a chance to talk with DH about it more, and he encouraged me to have a conversation with OSS. Which I did. And it went really well!
My heart is going to get stomped on in this no matter what, just because of who I am. I can't fully disengage. The boys and DH don't deserve that, and I don't want that. I am going to have to figure out how to deal better with it, though.
Anyway, because of that conversation, I found out that BM is unemployed again. Not sure who is keeping up (it changes quickly), but this is job #5-7 in the last 2ish years that she has lost. And it's the same reason - she gets sick (with something like bronchitis, not hospitalization-levels of sick), misses too many days, and out she goes.
Now, for those of you playing the home game, you'll also see in your notes that BM recently married Husband #3. I knew as soon as I heard he had a job that BM wouldn't be long for the working world. When I found out it paid decent money AND they could afford a place that is double my mortgage, I figured she'd quit that day.
How convenient that she got "sick" and lost her job literally days after they signed the lease on the new place and they moved in. Probably needed that income to get the place considering just how pricey the rent is.
Oh, and her new DH is unhappy with his own job and looking for a new one. No idea if he is the kind to keep a job before he gets a new one or not.
Ugh. Merry Christmas...
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BM over here is the same way
BM over here is the same way with jobs, goes through them faster than she goes through husbands. And, gets evicted, a lot, also.
BM has house hopped quite a
BM has house hopped quite a bit in recent years. Since I have been around, she has lived with her mom, then been homeless, and is now in apartment #3. This job she lost is job #6-9 in the 6 years I have been around (keep in mind that there have been *several* periods of unemployment). Oh, and she's in her mid-30s with DH#3 (and at least 3 other boyfriends before DH#3), so I won't be surprised if there are more in the future.
BM and her current husband
BM and her current husband (and BM's 31 year old son) are apparently homeless right now.
Oh, wait, on Thanksgiving, they all moved in with SD, her husband, and 3 kids. So, it's all good!
BM here is tenured and makes
BM here is tenured and makes scads of money to do very little. Not sure which is worse!
As for disengaging from your skids - I'm not entirely disengaged, SS and I get along fine, we can joke around and have fun. I just have nothing invested in a relationship with him.
I'd rather her make scads of
I'd rather her make scads of money so DH wouldn't be stuck paying everything!
I can see being more disconnected with YSS. But OSS does make an effort in reciprocating a relationship and is trying to do well in his life. I want to support that. It would be far easier if he were behaving like your SS.
Ughhhh, so annoying. My
Ughhhh, so annoying. My boyfriend's ex is the same way. Constantly switching jobs around, has lived in four different houses/apartments/trailers since I've known her. It's ridiculous.
I hope you don't have to deal with her anymore than needed!
This time of year, I see her
This time of year, I see her quite a bit more than usual. Lots of school events and modified holiday schedules. Not that I have to interact with her, but she's definitely there. And she has been trying to play "happy little family" with all of us, so she's beinf saccharine sweet.
Ughhhh.... THIS paid I feel
Ughhhh.... THIS paid I feel for you as well. My DH's EX would go through several jobs a year normally. It was a similar issue for her.. either she would have some illness... or the kids would get sick and she would "have" to stay home.. and her employers got sick of it.
Once, YSD piped up with the following gem "mama doesn't work there any more because they did not treat her with respect".
I told her that this should be a lesson to her.. people don't HAVE to bend over backwards to keep people with low skill levels.. there are plenty of them to come up and replace them. She needs to get an education and be invaluable to her company (SD that is).. so that she will be treated right by an employer.
The best part about BM is
The best part about BM is that she has (or had) a trade! She went to trade school and got certifications! She displays her certificates!!! But the work is "too hard" and she can't do it with all her pain and problems. I just can't!
There a reason why you disengaged
It's because of your SS and DH going along with his DS. They don't deserve it, but they caused it. If then want you engaged they will change. You can not be the one always stomp on.
That's not entirely accurate.
That's not entirely accurate. I have disengaged on some things because I don't agree with DH on how he approaches it. Conversely, DH had pushed me to be disengaged on things because he doesn't want me involved (or more appropriately, he doesn't want me anxious about the BS he puts up with).
You are right that DH and OSS have caused some of this (OSS with being a pretty private person who doesn't open up much), but it hasn't been out of malice. Or it seeming hasn't been.