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Everyone's Favorite Medical Expense: Braces

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 8:06pm

The boys need braces. There is no question about that. We've known for a while that they need them, and DH and I picked a better dental plan to accommodate.

So, knowing that DH and I cover dental on the boys, did BM bother to tell DH that she took them for consults? Did she bother to tell the orthodontist that they have dental insurance that covers braces? Did she bother to inform DH about the appointment? Did she bother to discuss with him the price beforw signing off on the payment plan?

If you answered "no" to all of these questions, YOU'RE A WINNER! Pat yourself on the back and have a drink for me because I can't drink enough without dying to alleviate the bitter piss brewing inside me.

Grand total before insurance is applied? Nearly $9000 for both of them to get braces. Payment plan is $300/month for 2.5 years.

Oh, and did BM mention how she was going to pay any part of it? Of course not! Why you ask? Because she's on short term disability (again) and isn't working (again) because she had to have surgery on something (again) about a week ago. Yet, she was driving today so I guess she's all better...?

At what point can I scream at her until she cries? I'm really good at that...

Comments

MommyT's picture

Submitted by MommyT on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 8:10pm

Did DH explain to her that you are not going with her orthodontist? Those contracts can easily be broken

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 8:27pm

No idea. DH doesn't have an issue with the orthodontist (they are part of the dental group the boys have been going to for years). He does take issue with her not talking to him and not giving them the insurance into. He knows he'll need to reach out to them and get them the insurance information to see what is owed.

Now we'll see what his plan will be in regards to payment. If he doesn't make her pay *something* towards this, then we're back to where we were in the fall.

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 9:10pm

BM did the same thing. The only difference was that she tried to convince DH to pay her $2500 directly, which is $1500 more than he actually owes under their support agreement. I suggested he go directly to the orthodontist himself, which he did. We also paid them directly, instead of going through BM and paying the mark-up she would give to herself. 

 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Sat, 06/01/2019 - 6:24am

Oh, there will be giving BM no money. DH got really good about not doing that, but then did it once over fall break (I think it was fall break) thinking it would be okay.

Well, of course she showed up all pouty because she "didn't know" the money he gave her was for the camp thing the boys wanted to do. Even though it was the exact amount she requested. And he told her and OSS what it was for. SHE TRIED TO BLAME OSS FOR NOT KNOWING! She likely took the money, spent it on something else, and figured DH would just give her the same amount again when she cried poor.

He didn't give her the money a second time and has gone back to "BM gets nothing directly".

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

Submitted by Dontfeedthetrolls on Fri, 05/31/2019 - 10:36pm

My SO's order states that if a parent fails to use insurance they are responsible for all the extra cost that the insurance would have covered. When I had my braces done insurance covered maybe 3000 leaving me with 2000. If this were the numbers we were looking at SO would only pay 1000. BM would have to cover her 1000 and then the extra 3000. I would also make it clear you didn't consent to this ortho and the cost there for you are in no way resposnible for the cost. If the ortho contacts you tell them the truth. You have insurance and it's nothing against them.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Sat, 06/01/2019 - 6:19am

I'm in 100% agreement. I'm not sure DH is because he knows BM can't/won't pay half.

I knew we'd have to pay for braces. That is something I have mentally prepared myself for. It's just the total disrespect that she displays with this BS. A "I took them, now you pay it" mentality. Witch please! You barelt work as is and fought tooth and nail so DH didn't have any real parenting influence. That doesn't mean you get to do the stuff that makes you look like MOTY and hand the bill over to the ex to pay.

Well, it does when your ex pays it. Which is where DH and I are going to have to have a fireside chat. We've put out over $10,000 in cash in the last two months for his surgery and a new HVAC system when ours died, plus normal expenses that come at this time of year (all our birthdays, car registration, HOA fees, etc). We need to replenish what we spent, and her stupid choices to get both kids braces at the same time while she's not working isn't our problem to sort through.

Maybe if I physically knock both BM and DH's head together their thoughts will meld into something coherent.

tog redux's picture

Submitted by tog redux on Sat, 06/01/2019 - 7:12am

So glad SS didn't need braces.  I figured that even if he did, BM was too cheap to pay her half, so she wouldn't have done it.

At their last court date, DH argued that he shouldn't have to pay for a pair of SS's glasses because BM didn't use her insurance, which would have made it much cheaper.  Guess who won? Hint: Not DH.

At least for the next pair of glasses she used her insurance.

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Sat, 06/01/2019 - 9:40am

I'm thankful BM doesn't have the money for court. DH would be stupid to take her to court because around here, they'd tell him he's married with a 6-figure income between himself and me, so he better stop pissing over pennies (even when those pennies equate to thousands of dollars). He and I have watched this play out with other family and friends, and it's just not worth involving the courts to pay the same amount plus attorney and court fees.

SMto2's picture

Submitted by SMto2 on Sat, 06/01/2019 - 10:02am

My DH had a similar braces situation, only there was no insurance for braces, and NOTHING in CO about braces! Although we'd heard from youngest SS for a couple years he was supposed to be getting braces, out of the blue one day, my DH got an email from BM that OLDEST SS needed braces and she needed $1K by the end of the week and there would be payments the next 24 months!! DH had NO INPUT into the orthodontist or the pmt plan. I happened to be in braces at the time because my parents couldn't afford them when I was growing up, and SS's braces cost more than mine, which were the more expensive clear kind. My DH went along with it like he did everything else, out of fear if he didn't, BM would tell the kids he was a POS to try to further turn them against him. He did pay all monies directly to the orthodontist. To make matters worse, almost exactly one year later, he got another email that now YOUNGEST SS needed braces, another $1K by the end of the week and more 24 months payments, so there were TWO boys, 2 years apart, in braces at the same time! I was especially chaffed about DH not getting consulted on the timing. 

Your comment "That doesn't mean you get to do the stuff that makes you look like MOTY and hand the bill over to the ex to pay" soooo hits home, as that's what BM did for well over a decade. Thank God He let me live to see SSs grown, now 23 and 25, and while we do still contribute money to them, it's a drop in the bucket to what my DH paid all those years, and at least it's paid to them directly, so DH gets the credit. I love it that BM can no longer dictate how DH spends his money or get the credit for it.  You'll get there eventually. Hang in there!!