I have a Son that is 5 a stepson that is 7 and a baby on the way. My fiancé and I have been together for 4 almost 5 years. I love this man more than anyone I've ever been with and I've been in two other long term relationships, but I cannot stand his son. It was not alwas like this I met this boy when he was 3. His biological mother has done time in jail for drugs repeatedly and she had an older biological son that she dumped on her mother and he ended up passing away. My fiancé then decided to drive to Oklahoma to pick up his biological son, the older boy was not his. It wasn't long after that that his ex ended up in jail again, because of that he proceeded to obtain full custody of his son. Shortly after we decided to move in together with both of our boys yeah I knew that his son had had some problems already he had been kicked out of a daycare, yes kicked out at three years old. We both worked full-time since we moved in together we had to find childcare for our kids we found a private residence daycare and things were going pretty good he was acting out at daycare but nothing too serious until one day I got a call from the babysitter and she told me that she could no longer watch our kids because He had decided to step on a six month old babies head. That's when I knew there was something wrong but I thought perhaps it was an accident turns out it was not he told us the baby made him mad but he couldn't tell us why. I was absolutely mortified. 
 

My biological son is the sweetest boy you'll ever meet all he knows how to do is love. He loves his mama his dogs and dinosaurs and he really wants to love his big brother too but ever since we lived together my son is the constant target of my stepsons torture. My stepson has put a shoestring around his neck saying he was trying to walk him like a dog when in fact he left marks. He has hit my son repeatedly kicked him pushed him down the stairs and called him names and this was just within the first year of living together. Along with the physical issues we have had my stepson is incredibly destructive he has torn down or torn apart four sets of blinds his own bedroom dresser put a hole in my wall in the hallway destroyed his own books some of my sons books and his broken several of his toys. 
 

I thought maybe this was a phase for a while or jealousy but when he became old enough to enter school it continued and got worse even as a kindergartner he was pushing and hitting peers calling them names arguing with his teacher the list goes on and now he's in first grade and there isn't a week that goes by where he's getting in trouble 3 to 4 times a week he tackled a kid in recess line for being in his spot and there is no assigned spots in recess line. He has screamed at kids and screamed at his teacher argues with her constantly throws his tablet in class he threw a snowball at a girls face right before Christmas break and she had to go to the nurses office because her lip busted open. He lies constantly especially to me even when he's clearly been caught. His father and I have tried to discipline him every way we know how we've tried talking to him we've tried spanking we've tried grounding we've taken away his TV privileges his toys books we've made him sit in a room with absolutely nothing to do and nothing works nothing at all now when we tell him he's grounded he says oh no big deal. Even when he plays with his toys it's a violent slamming them around dropping them throwing them I am just absolutely at my wits end with this kid after several fights with my fiancé I have finally gotten him to realize that he needs help as hard as it is for him to admit so we are trying to find a child psychologist or therapist because I'm terrified of what's going to happen once we have our new baby and once he gets older there's no telling what he will be capable of. I truly wanted to love my stepson and wanted to have the perfect little blended family but I cannot stand him every effort I have put forth has come to no avail and I find myself in raged by him. I can say easily and I don't love him I don't care for him. All I can see is his biological mother when I look at his face she purely is an evil person and I think she passed some of that onto him. You may not agree or think it's right but put yourself in my shoes how would you feel if your child was constantly being picked on and abused by another kid even if they didn't live in your house and it was at school how would you really feel? To me this is no different Especially after four years.