Incompetent Opportunistic Disneyland Dad….
YOUR TIME IS COMING!!!
Yesterday (and on at least two other past occasions) I had to turn down men who are better qualified than this idiot over here.
I can't describe the disappointment I felt knowing that I settled for someone who is emotionally unavailable, has nothing to offer me (except free childcare/free household labor/complaints on a silver platter), and that I know within my soul I can attract a better quality man
Im becoming single (mentally) and eventually very soon physically so that I can make my own choices, have my weekends back, be respected in my space, and have my peace back.
Today I'll be turning off location (while he's busy single parenting 3 kids with no food) packing more stuff into storage, and looking for places that I have no clue how I will buy but I do believe in miracles.
I might see if someone can host me for the weekend so I don't have to see the territory invaders nor their imbecile "dad"
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Comments
If you aren't married and
If you aren't married and this isn't your house, you could find a place to rent (or if don't make enough just rent a tiny room). You don't need to buy houses if you can't afford it. Look at this as how do women live who aren't married and aren't in a relationship. Do they all sleep on the streets and eat of a garbage can? No. They live their lives. Women don't need men to survive.
This
I'd find the least expensive place to rent - even a room, keep my stuff in storage and figure out my next move in peace. You don't have to buy right out. That gives you time to research homes and not be rushed into buying something you really don't like.
I'd get out sooner than later.
My credit cards are maxed out
My credit cards are maxed out right now as I mentioned I started a business to get a second income (it's not in the green yet), I'm taking care of a kid with no child support and I'm on a one person income.
Yes I just got a promotion and a small raise but it's not quite enough to get out of the hole right now.
The least expensive places to rent are in the hood (I live in one of the most dangerous cities in US) and I would probably be more in danger than I am now so unfortunately for me I'm going to have to spend a lot to get safety and comfort.
Crr18 I will see if any places like that are here
I know you are playing that medium game
And you are being very patient. Vent as you need to, and stay away as much as you can.
Congrats on the raise and new business!
Thank you so much CLove
Thank you so much CLove
I am trying to find some silver linings (and keep my head above water) despite constantly being dragged in the depths of this person's sh*tshow
He used to make me feel guilty for leaving them at that house practically all weekend but I needed to so that I didn't have to deal with his Disneyland parenting style
I don't feel guilty anymore. I won't let him control me or my feelings.
You and the other forum supporters are more helpful than y'all ever know.
Everyday I visualize writing the message here that I'm free from step-mother captivity
This weekly squabbling with him will soon come to an end because his time is coming!!!
Guilt and shame are serve no
Guilt and shame serve no purpose - they just destroy a person.
Apologize to yourself, then forgive yourself for everything. Go on to live your best life! <3
It's hard. People are
It's hard. People are constantly saying just leave. It's not possible sometimes. It takes a plan and can't always be accomplished quickly. You'll get it figured out.
I agree with Catmom
We StepTalkers mean well and we are usually correct that a person should leave. But it is really hard and I'm not talking about the emotional side which is bad enough. The logistics of finding and obtaining a safe, appropriate place are huge, especially when we have limited finances. Lilly, I've been watching your progress, you are going to be successful.
At least you're not doing this back in the 70s like I did with 2 kids and no CS. In those days, bosses could and did pay women much less than men. Landlords could and did tell me to my face, " We dont take divorcees" and " We dont take kids". I (with Moms help) found a place but as soon as my ex found it, he made life unbearable and unsafe so the kids and I had to move to Mom's, a very uncomfortable 9 months while DS was in 1st grade. Then I moved into the upstairs of a rental house. It had its own entrance. I was there 2 months and had registered my DS for school when the landlady's son-in-law (I still remember that white leisure suit) tried to "come and do work" several times (I never let him in). She evicted me. On and on... it's not easy.
It's not easy.
It's not easy.
When I left him I took only my clothes and a few essential. The apartment I rented was horrible and I still couldn't afford it. I moved out from the family home in the middle of the winter and I couldn't afford to pay for the heating . It was so cold, it was the most terrifying time in my life. I can't count how many times I cried silently curled up on the bathroom floor. The only food I could afford was Walmart bread and cheese for $0.99 each. I had a teenager who needed things. I was harassed and threatened non stop. I don't have family in the US, I was all by myself. Lost all my friends, who somehow decided in was their place to take a side.
Eventually I had to file and then I made a huge step - I moved 1200 miles away. I put myself in school, started all over from scratch and now I am significantly ahead of my ex. I work my dream job, I travel the world three months a year, I have a great husband, and my daughter is doing financially and all overall just amazing.
My ex is still there - a pitiful and miserable little man living in his pathetic world, who still can't believe that I somehow made it out.
Just hang on dear Lilly, soon you'll be free.
I can't thank y'all enough
I can't thank y'all enough for the inspiring stories shared. If y'all can do it I can do it!
Mark my words "Come h3ll or high waters .......I'm exiting step-h3ll AND never going back"