Here's the cliffnotes version of things. My mom is having surgery Dec 1...it's serious business. I found out last night that this was the newly rescheduled date. I told H while he was at work (3rd shift). He wanted to know what day I have to leave to take her. Not once did he say "Oh hey Lil, what can I do to help...can I go?" etc. Nothing. Not one d*mn word! So I was heated...
I had been busy putting dishes into the china cabinet. I still hadn't unpacked some of my stuff since we'd moved me fully into his house (that he shared for 13 years with EW). I found a plaque with their wedding date and names engraved and some dumb assed poem. Mind you, he had "cleaned" the cabinet out some weeks ago to make way for my stuff and had removed their wedding glasses, etc...but apparently "forgot" this little gem.
Oh and to make matters worse, I found the next month custody schedule. And do you know what was attached to it? A toll pass ticket. Do you know why that's important? Because several months ago we had an issue with the thruway authority. I let him use my electronic pass in his car when we went on a holiday. It didn't get read right so he got a violation and a bill. Well he wouldn't pay because he 'had trouble with them before.' So long story short, I handled it a couple of weeks ago by writing some letters and paying the toll minus the violation fees. Well it turns out, he can't get added to my account because his tag has been turned in or whatnot but there was a toll and violation that were never paid. He has said to me that his pass was lost or it was just screwed up somewhere...he didn't make this one trip that caused the violation on his pass, so he got mad and turned it in...supposedly. Well, stapled to the next months custody schedule, lo and behold, there is this thruway ticket with EW's name on it. So not only was the electronic reader not lost/stolen, but EW had it, got the violation and...here's the kicker...H has as of 10/22 paid the violation and all is settled.
Needless to say when I found this all out last night I got seriously heated. Not only did H say nothing about coming to the hospital with me for support (hello, I need it desperately...my mom has cancer and this surgery could kill her!), but then I find more EW crap around my house that he claimed he had gotten rid of (oh did I mention her skank vitamins are still in our medicine cabinet?! And I'm supposed to go through it and throw them away!). Not only that but now I find he's lied to me about the whole "who stole/lost my thruway pass device" and find out yet again that EW is at the root of it all!!!! So I didn't sleep at all last night. I called H at work sometime after midnight (I never do that)but he was working out on the production floor so he missed the call. He texted me at 1:30 but I had shut off the phones and decided to try to rest and calm down.
So when he came in this morning I was already ready for work (work starts at 8:30, I was ready at 7). We got into it and it was ugly. I told him I didn't need him to come to the hospital (It's a 2 1/2 hour drive from here) and AS USUAL I'll do it alone. He got mad saying that I just dumped it on him last night and he didn't have time to figure out what to do with his kids (he has them that weekend and they have hockedy crap all weekend long!). I said, the point was that I shouldn't have to BEG you to come, you should be there w/o me saying a word...you would move heaven and earth for EW but I have to practically beg for any thing you do!!! In all fairness, he does treat me good and does many many nice things for me and does take care of me, but honestly on the big issues like this he always falls short and I get nothing. I'm so angry and hurt.
So he says to me, well have a nice Thanksgiving. And I'm like wtf are you going somewhere? Huh? What is wrong with you???!!! I still have no idea what that meant. Maybe he's going to avoid me until after Thanksgiving or something. Probably cuz I threw it in his face that he said him and the boys were going to his sisters for Thanksgiving...was I coming? As if their plans are THEIRS and I'm some boarder living in their house who MIGHT come along if I have nothing better to do. He just keeps hurting me with the things he says. I never think of what I alone am doing, it's always what 'we' are doing...'we'...him, me and the kids. I'm just so sick of his stupid crap.
So now I sit at work all cried out and just absolutely miserable. I am just so tired y'all. I keep giving and giving, and when I actually need something that might require more than a trip to Tim Hortons or through a CVS drivethrough, I get absolutely nothing.
Thank you for listening.