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Is it just me?

lily11's picture

At the risk of sounding like both an evil step mother AND an evil mother...

Is it just me or does anyone else ever feel really fed up with their kids?

I love my DD22 and SS16, I truly do. I want the best for them, I want them to be happy. I also wish I could have a better relationship with both of them.

But lately, I don't like either of them.

I am always the bad guy. My daughter says she would like a better relationship but the reasons we aren't are always my fault. It doesn't matter how hard I try, it never changes.

SS16 sees me as a threat and he's constantly trying to edge me out. The nicer I am to him the worse it seems to get - I think that must be largely due to the loyalty conflict with his mother.

I'm tired of it. I feel that both our kids are very inconsiderate and I am always being held to the higher standard by both of them. It wears a person down after a while. DH keeps trying to encourage me to have a better attitude. But honestly, I don't like being around either of them because I feel terrible around them.

To make matters worse, they both frustrate the heck out of me with the choices they make for themselves.

My daughter doesn't want to go to college. She has a good job but other than that she just parties or lays around. She will never be able to afford a nice car or home with this job and her loser boyfriend is a whole other issue. She assures me she is very happy so I try to just accept that but it still bothers me, especially the loser boyfriend.

SS16 is very lazy and just wants to eat and play video games. He makes rude comments if anybody wants to do anything constructive or actually take care of themselves and eat properly.

DH and are very hard working and very active. We feel completely out of touch with the world our kids live in.

Is this normal?
Sad

Comments

Peach1966's picture

It's not you. The 16 yr old needs to watch his mouth. Disrespect for the people that keep a roof over your head and food in your mouth isnt tolerated. The 22 yr old needs to be taken apt hunting so she can see the real cost of life. Then charge her rent. No college no support

lily11's picture

So true, there are no guarantees despite your best intentions.

My 22 year old daughter does live on her own and take care of herself. DH reminds me all the time that she is supporting herself, despite the fact that her life choices drive me crazy. She's an adult and I have to respect that...

I ask myself sometimes why do we have kids? In my opinion, you get about 10 good years and then they stress you out and break your heart. I think my situation might be the exception and I just have a really bad attitude:(