I'm working on setting and maintaining clear boundaries with ss16. That's my goal anyway. I'm trying to detach from him completely. I don't want to be angry with him but I AM angry and irritated with him most of the time. I find myself getting caught up in his mood swings. I get irritable when he's pushing my buttons and then I am very receptive when he chooses to be nice. I feel like a puppet.

There is usually tension all the time at my house when ss16 is here. I've blogged about that numerous times here. We have food issues, power struggles, etc. However, when BM starts stirring up drama I've noticed he starts to be extremely nice to me. Very nice. Last night BM was calling and texting both DH and ss16's cell phones almost nonstop for about 3 hours. DH wouldn't respond to her but ss16 talked to her for a while. She was drunk and just wouldn't stop with the harassment.

After a few hours of trying to ignore this I finally told DH I had enough and we needed some peace and quiet to enjoy the rest of our evening, what was left of it. DH had not responded to her calls or texts but clearly he and ss16 were completely wrapped up in the drama of all this.

Why is ss16 so nice to me when BM starts trouble? Is it triangulation? I finally made a connection I have never made before. The ONLY time, and I mean the ONLY time this kid is ever nice to me is when his mother is starting trouble for us. Why didn't I see this before?

I'm tired of allowing myself to be sucked in to the drama. ss16 is rude and cold to me most of the time. Most of the time I'm working hard to ignore how rude he is. It has always felt like he wants me out of the picture when he is visiting us, he wants to be in charge and I'm supposed to step aside. I don't know why I never noticed before but the rare occasion he is nice to me is when BM is in the process of trying to turn our household upside down.