Hello everybody!!
It's been a while since my last blog, I've been getting ready for the arrival of my baby...I know I still have a lil' over 3 months to go but...I'm so exited..anyways, I had a huge fight with DH a couple nights ago, and the situation about the skids still not knowing about the baby came out, I don't know why my DH can't just talk to them, instead he tells them that we will be going to visit them soon without even telling me (we can't even afford it!) it's frustrating, I guess my concern is, I don't know how are they going to take the idea of having a lil' brother, I'm hoping that they get exited and be happy about it, but what if they don't? what if they act negative and rude towards the baby or me? and then what? I'll get pissed off about it, and my DH is not going to care or do anything and is going to end up ugly, I know my DH, also because of the fight my DH said that he is leaving, he has all his stuff in the living room ready to be packed (or maybe waiting for me to ask him to stay) because the fight got sooo ugly insults came out and he broke down a door (I know...I know) I don't want to take the wrong decision, I'm so fed up with him that I'm ready to move out to and move on, also I'm tired of him not controlling his anger and get all stupid, counseling? I don't think so, he doesn't want to, so should I just leave? or if I stay and try to fix our marriage...what about my concern about the kids? I'm just soo stressed out that I can't even think clear anymore....
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I know what you mean Ms
I know what you mean Ms Freeze I'm just confused and sometimes I feel like I can live better without his BS and his anger...sometimes I just feel that I don't even care anymore, I'm just numbed and tired, and I also want my baby to have a family and grow up in a healthy relationship but we stressed out the dog sometimes!! during the time that I've been pregnant I have bite my lips so many times just to not argue, but now I just don't feel like asking him to not leave me again I'm just tired I want to think that everything will be better but I can't
I appreciate your comment, and agree that my baby deserves to grow up in a family, thanks hon.
When we told my SD we were
When we told my SD we were expecting (she was 7 1/2), she started bawling and said I don't want her to be my mommy.. And she never wanted to talk about the baby or me being pregnant when I was. Now that the baby is here (he is now 10 mo), she is very mean to him and has physically hurt him. Just be prepared for anything. My own boys from my previous marriage were thrilled when we told them I was pregnant and they LOVE their little brother, especially my 11 year old, he is such a big help and he loves to play with and hold his baby brother and both my boys would never hurt the baby.. So I have both cases with our kids, the good and the bad. Just be careful and try to incorporate them into whatever is going on with the pregnancy or baby, unless they give you just reason to keep them away like hurting the baby (which is what we had happen with SD, she dropped baby on his head when he was 1 week old on purpose, just held her arms out and let go of him).. Keep your eyes open and hope for the best. Honestly in most cases I would bet it turns out well.. I think my case is an extreme reaction by SD and very unusual for most kids to not accept a new sibling.. How old are the skids??
Either way, the skids should be told like now, and given a chance to participate in the pregnancy and the baby. Why does your DH not want to tell them? Fear of their reaction or is it fear of BM reaction????? You are pregnant, be the bigger person for the baby's sake and walk away from the argument. I think maybe your hormones are controlling your emotions and you arent thinkning clearly.. Don't give up your DH or the chance for your baby to have both of you in the same home. Try to relax, and let it go. If he doesnt want to tell the skids, thats on him, but kids are not stupid, they are gonna see your belly and know anyways.. I do think they should be told, but you can't make DH d it. and you owe it to your son to calm down and relax.. Take care of you and the baby, all else will fall into place..
If the Broom Fits, Ride It!!!!!
OMG! this is horrible, I
OMG! this is horrible, I guess this is what I'm affraid of I though I was being paranoid about it, but i guess it happens... the skids are SD13, SD10 and SS6 and I agree, they should know and process the info before they come, so they know there will be a baby at the house, instead of "surprise! there is your little brother" Thanks for your comment, I'm just going to relax.....
My SD was so excited about
My SD was so excited about the babies (me 3, BM 1). Whether or not the skids are happy or sad doesn't change that they are having a brother. Nor will waiting longer to tell them change the outcome.
He should tell them, to let them get used to the idea. If he just springs it on them it will be hard on them to adjust and they may feel like they were left out on purpose (like they are no longer apart of the family). But it is his decision and he is the one to live with the consquences.
Like the other ladies said this fighting is really hard on the baby...though I know you feel like you have no control here. To me there are bigger fish to fry than this--but it up to you where this goes from here.
I would let him know that you love him and would like to work on the marriage--however you and the baby are a priority in his life and you expect to be treated that way. Whether he stays or goes is his decision--you can't fix the marriage (any problems)yourself.
(((hugs))
jeeezz you couldn't have
jeeezz you couldn't have said it better, but like I told to Ms Freeze, I just can't ask him to not leave me anymore it is not the first time and it is already boring, I guess my baby is worth the try....I guess I'm just going to tell him that I love him and see what happens...