You are here

H...still a no show....update...

LindaL's picture

Submitted by LindaL on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 12:07pm

Hello everyone,
In my last blog I told you guys about H wanting to see our baby, we set up a date and time, last monday @ 5:00pm well he texted around 4:00 that he was working late and wanted to know if we could wait for an hour and a half (we were going to meet at the public library) ok let me tell you something else, he suggested his aunt's house to meet so he could see the baby, she HATES me she is sooo sure that I deleted the pictures on SD14 camera (remember that post?) so a family member that lives in her house advised me to not go because she and her doughter wanted to "confront me", I let him know that I was aware of the "plan" and told him that I wasn't in highschool anymore and that my son doesn't need to be involved in that drama and put in a dangerous situation (they weren't just going to talk to me of course) he, of course, denied the whole thing, I don't know if he is lying, I know his aunt is totally capable of doing such thing, so that's why I wanted to meet in a public place, I don't trust his family or him anymore.
So I told him that we couldn't wait, babies are on a schedule, so he never replied back and I haven't heard from him since....I guess he wasn't that eager to see our child huh?? or maybe he is waiting for me to tell him when can we meet, I don't know....should I just not do anything?? To be honest I don't really want to see him, for some stupid messed up reason I still miss him and have feelings for him (masochist you would say huh?) but I am very close to my dad and I would like for my child to be close to his too... thoughts??

Comments

LindaL's picture

Submitted by LindaL on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 12:38pm

ok...thanks for your input...but I don't really think that an hour before is an acceptable notice, he knew first thing in the morning that he was scheduled to work until that time but he waited until the last minute to tell me, I don't know if you have kids, I have a 5 month old baby (almost 6 months) I'm starting to feed him solids so I couldn't feed him at the library, he also takes a nap right after at around 6:30 if not he gets VERY cranky...and I belive that trying to keep my child's schedule does not make me a passive agressive person, yes the father haven't helped me with the baby at all, he doesn't support him but that's not why I didn't wait for him, but I appreciate your comment.

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 12:21pm

So sorry to hear this! You and your child deserve so much better. I would NOT contact him, why should you need to beg him to see his child? This man is not waiting for you, he is avoiding you.

It's understandable that you miss him, and that you would want your child to have a realtionship with him BUT this can't be forced. I'm sure you were close to your father because he loved you, treated you with respect and was a father to you. This man has done none of those things for your child.

You are better off to forget about him (I know it won't happen over night and it wont be easy) and move on and find someone who loves and appreciates you and your child rather than wasting your time and energy on this loser. Sounds like his family are a bunch of lunatics as well, better just to cut all ties and make a better life for yourself and your baby.

Please feel free to PM me if you need anything or just need to chat. I have a 10month old and know how much enjoyment (and work) babies are and you shouldn't have to do it on your own. <>

stormabruin's picture

Submitted by stormabruin on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 12:42pm

It's important that you work with the father to visit with the baby. However, there's no need for you to put yourself or your child in a bad situation at the aunt's house. You are not obligated to go over there so she can see your child.

If she wishes to visit, she can meet you in a public place & spend some time with him. That way, should she take conversation to an inappropriate place, you are free to pick your child up & walk away, with plenty of witnesses around.

As far as the father, contact him & let him know when you are available for him to see his child. Be reasonable. If he wants to work it into his schedule, he will.

LindaL's picture

Submitted by LindaL on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 1:17pm

I guess he could've told me since he knew and we could've rescheduled but after I said we can't wait he never replied....somehow I don't know what to do, for a minute I thought "great he really wants to be close to the baby he cares about him" but it didn't happen...
btw I agree the witch has been misunderstood!

LindaL's picture

Submitted by LindaL on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 4:11pm

sometimes I feel like I made the wrong decision, but like you say I just need to get used to not be with him anymore. Thanks.

LindaL's picture

Submitted by LindaL on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 4:43pm

I did think it was very suspicious but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, and I still will, if he contacts me to see the baby again I will cooperate but I did tell him that I will be acompanied I don't want to go by myself, he might not be involved on the whole aunt situation but he might have, I don't know so I have to be very precautious, I'm having a hard time I can't (and don't want to) believe that he does not care for our child and that he is THAT type of guy (maybe I'm still in denial)

LindaL's picture

Submitted by LindaL on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 4:53pm

I almost cried....I guess I'm still grieving...but oh well....I think i need a drink! oh no I can't! Thanks HS