I sometimes regret having married a man with a son. There I said it. I feel guilty thinking it, writing it, feeling it, but it’s true. I love the man I married and I love our BDs more than the world itself, but I can’t help but feel that my life would be happier without the SS16 in it. I hate that I can’t accept him for who he is as much as I preach that at work. I hate that I have so much misplaced anger towards him, but he’s there and so it gets dumped on him. He’s lazy, inconsiderate, has no shame when he does something wrong, feels privileged and entitled, and I’m afraid he will never get out of the house. Aren’t all teenagers like this? Are they? Or is he at a different level that excuses my resentment towards him. That’s what always drives my anger a little more, the excuses that he is unlike other kids. More inconsiderate, more lazy, more entitled, just not typical. My anger boils over and then I say things I later regret, but I don’t say sorry. Now I’m afraid my marriage is on the line because I can’t watch my mouth. The SS called me a “stupid little kid” because I asked him why he doesn’t like cooked onions. That sounds like he went overboard, but did he if I knew I was pushing his buttons when I said it? If I knew that onions are a sensitive topic for him, but what isn’t? I can’t ask if he’s finished his homework or how his grades are because he snaps. I can’t ask what he’s doing at 6:30am at school if school starts at 9, because he snaps. Unless I talk about anime, which I hate, I have nothing to talk about. Even writing this now, makes me feel like I’m validated for being angry that he called me a stupid little kid, but honestly are you not supposed to bite the hand that feeds you? My mom would have slapped me upside the head and worse had I said something like that to her no matter what she had done. Then I blow up on him and call him a lazy little kid. I reduced myself to his level when I thought I had a right to be mad. Now my DH is mad at me. Then what gets me the most is that my DH will stop speaking to me for the usual 3 days as is typical when he’s mad at me. But what was his reaction to the SS calling me a stupid little kid? He scolded him and then sat on the couch with him laughing at a stupid movie. They talk like nothing happened. The SS didn’t apologize, didn’t say good morning the next day but then had the nerve to ask to borrow my work out gloves. What makes me angry is that he acts like everything is ok and his behavior was no big deal and now he can ask me for favors. My husband said he’s not ok with it, but he doesn’t say another word to him, yet now I’m in the dog house for blowing up with my anger and I won’t get to sit on the couch and laugh like nothing happened. Not because he wouldn’t let me, but because I feel shame and I wouldn’t allow myself to sit there. I sound like a kid. I’m 34 years old with two baby girls and I can’t find myself in my own 5 bedroom house. I can’t feel happy in my own house. I can’t just walk around my house without nearly snarling at the SS when he walks by. Because he smells, because he looks dirty, because he’s lazy, because he didn’t put something away like he was supposed to, because he talks to himself, because he laughs by himself, because he makes weird noises and faces, because…..I’ve been thinking for a long time that I need therapy or a magic pill that will change my feelings. Those exist right? I kind of wish lunatic BM was around to take him. She doesn’t care to see him. Two years into my marriage of now 5 years she went from 70% custody to 30%, seeing him every other weekend. Then she started seeing him once a month for a weekend, then for a few hours on Sundays about once a month, and now she’s in a different state. Really, he’s been with us full time for about 3 years. Poor kid, I know, and yet my feelings get the best of me. What tears at my heart is that thought of having my girls grow up in a household where their mom can’t get along with their brother. Any helpful words??