I had the same problem. You just flat out tell them that your room out of bounce. They need anything they should ask you first. Good luck!

Tell them do not go in my room - you have your own room and bathroom use them. If you need something ask me and I will get it for you - if I am not here do not go in my room. I don't go in yours don't go in mine. If need be you may need to put a lock on your room. When I was growing up I never went in my parents room except to make their bed (can you imagine telling your Skids they had to make your bed - lol) - it was not allowed - in fact in my family no one was allowed to go into any other's bedroom without permission. It was just a sign of respect. They are old enough they know they are not to be in your room so just tell them - if it starts drama tell them knock it off and when your father gets back we will discuss as a family. This is your house and your rules if they want to live there they better learn them. It won't be easy but you need to do it or you will drive yourself crazy. Good Luck!!

Do you keep the iron in your room? If so, then maybe you should move it somewhere else so SD doesn't have to enter your room.

I'm with Old Dart in that I don't understand the banning of bedrooms. My husband doesn't mind if my kiddos enter our room as long as they knock.

I was never allowed in my parents bedroom. My kids/stepkids have never been allowed in our bedroom. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking kids to stay out of your bedroom.

I think maybe the bedroom privacy thing is a cultural issue, by which I mean that different families have different culture/traditions. If you grow up in a house where bedrooms are private that seems normal and correct, but if you grow up in a house where the parental bedroom is an open shared space it probably feels quite alien to be excluded. It's another of those painful adjustments that you get when you have children who are used to one way of doing things going head to head with a step-parent who feels just as strongly that things should be done differently. I think the bedroom also has a particular territorial significance for step-parents: it can feel very hard to carve a space for yourself in an existing family, and the symbolism of having a space in the house where you don't have to negotiate or put on an act or make an effort can feel very important. When I moved in with my DH (then my boyfriend) I did see our bedroom as a retreat while I acclimatised to his family. It was one place where I didn't have to tidy up after someone else's children!

Now I have the opposite problem with my SKids, now that I am more relaxed and confident as a step-parent I wish they felt more able to come in and out of our bedroom because to me that feels relaxed, like family. My parents bedroom was private from when they closed it to go to bed, to when they opened it in the morning, but at all other times their bedroom and bed were the heart of our home. We would chat and cuddle and watch telly on their bed, it was where I would talk to my Mum about things that were on my mind, try my outfits on in front of her full length mirror and borrow her hairdryer. Without even thinking about it I am bringing my BD3 and BS1 up to feel the same way about my bedroom. I don't like feeling that my SKids might feel excluded from that while they're staying with us.

So, at 21 your SS should defintely not be leaving a mess in your bathroom, but maybe he and SD are behaving in a way that was normal in their family home when they were younger? In which case they are not being deliberately disrespectful, just doing what feels normal to them? If he's a reasonable young man I would just say lightly 'can you not use my bathroom and leave it in a mess please!', and tell SD that 'we normally do the ironing in the (kitchen/living room/etc)'.

I understand. I just want *one* place that is all mine that only has my stuff in it and is neat. My room is mine -- I don't want to share it.

I don't live with a skid but I have a key lock on my bedroom door and have had one for years. My father actually gave me the idea. My dad and SM got sick of my SM's kids going in their room when they were out so he put a key lock on theirs. They'd go out of town and they wanted to know no kids could get in there.

Seriously, get a key lock, it is the best.

Btw, I don't like my kids using my bathroom either. Theirs is a wreck but I don't want mine messed up. Again, it feels like my personal space. You're an adult -- you pay for your housing and you deserve to have something of your own. You're not hanging out in their rooms or bathroom -- it's just common courtesy that they act in kind...

I feel the same way, you have the right to expect privacy in your own bedroom. That is your sanctuary a space you share with your husband. I don't want anybody strolling through my space and have access to my birth control and other items that are nobodys business. I have never walked into ss room as I respected his privacy which he enjoyed a lot, however that did not keep him from violating my privacy by entering my room and stealing money and other items.

I dont want any of my kids in my bedrm or bathroom-including both bios and step. And I dont have a problem telling them that-It's harder when they are older I guess. could u be subtle about it and make sure your door is closed-Maybe leave some of your panties right on the sink or give them some reason to not want to come in there? LOL? U could even jokingly tell them that you hope he's not embarrassed about you leaving your bras and panties in there and that you are just so used to it being your private space you often leave unmentionables out. Maybe it will scare him off.

Our kids aren't allowed in our bedroom. Growing up, I knew that my parent's bedroom was off limits.