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I'm spitting nails

Little Jo's picture

We haven't seen sd14 since x-mas, sd9 & 12 since they told me about the knife thing (Mid-Feb) and sd16 since the begining of March. I have been pushing BF to find out what's going on and that we need some kind of visitation schedule. BF told me the other day 'it's sounds like couple of the girls will be coming out this weekend'.

So last night I ask him what is going on. If they are coming, I would like to know so I can plan a dinner and get some Easter Baskets.

He calls BM, And I couldn't believe. He never got a word in. From the moment they got on the phone, all I heard was her rambling and him saying, yeah, unhu, really, yeah.
I got so pissed I went to bed. He was on the phone with her for over a half an hour. He comes upstairs and begs me to come down to watch Lost. I come down, he looks at me and says that SD16 is using us and manipulating us. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That Bitch, I am sick of her manipulating her kids and MY finace'. BF & I exchanged some words last night. This am I find a text message on MY phone from BM saying 'Have you ever heard of AA or Alanon. They are very helpful people.'

I want to freaking scream.

I'm going to do something today and I don't know what.

Comments

Caitlin's picture

It's so hard not to get irritated as all hell when the BM is like that, but for your own sanity, Jo, don't let this bull get to you! Fighting with your fiance doesn't make anything better. I wish there was some kind of magic solution I had for you to learn how to let go, because I KNOW it's easier said than done!

Maybe you should sit down with your fiance and calmly talk about what he needs to do to a) get some kind of visitation schedule, and b) get involved in the girls' therapy to know what the heck is going on with them. He is probably feeling so overwhelmed that he just shuts down and lets BM steamroll over him for hours on the phone until he's just completely lost. I know that's what happens a lot with my fiance. So if you could help him be constructive, I think your frustration levels will go down and he won't feel so hopeless and overwhelmed and confused and lost as to what to do. Does this help at all?

And what the heck is BM's text all about? Is she trying to imply that you're an alcoholic or that your fiance is or something? WTF? She is a piece of work.

happy's picture

to AA classes? If that is the case I think I would be on the phone with her.
First of all I am not trying to critisize your man, but what in the hell is wrong with him and the BM, who is the children and who are the adults? This is what it all comes down too, who is the A and who is the C.. I cannot believe the bull shit you have to endure, first of all go spit those nails at BM becuase if anyone needs AA or any classes its her..
You have a child who is going thru normal teenage I know it all crap but at least she sounds pretty respectable.
As I see the world today there are not a lot of parents who parent anymore.. I don't mean to offend anyone but I see this in my own family.. My SK... SD gets to make all decisions and then tell parents.. But she has a snotty mouth which yes partially is age but a lot of it is the parents never corrected her a long time ago and now BM calls and says I can't control her mouth.. Well I guess when you parent out of guilt for whatever reason such as divorce then you can see why kids today are so unruly.. I would never dream today of being a mouth to my mom, and I am 31.. Its all about respect..
Happy

" make sure you tell the people you love most EVERYDAY.. Its important not only for them to know but for you to tell.. Life is to short to be miserable..

Little Jo's picture

BM likes calling us alcoholics. Yes, BF drank alot durning the last year of their marriage. She does not touch the stuff, she has perscription drugs. Bf & I like to have a few beers at night. That doesn't make us alcoholics. And that's not the problem anyway.

The problem is she lets those girls do want ever the f*@k they want and then will call BF complain about how bad they are, he tells her how to handle it, she agrees then doesn't do anything about it. Last week she called BF to say she had to call the cops on SD14.
I feel like screaming "GUESS WHAT, YOU DON'T LET A 14 YEAR OLD SMOKE IN THE HOUSE, USE THE COMPUTER, GO TO THE MALL, HAVE SLEEPOVERS. ALL WHILE FAILING 8th GRADE FOR THE SECOND TIME, YOU DUMB BITCH."
No why think like that, lets just say SD14 has anger issues, lets call her bi-polar and say she suffers from depression, lets put her on meds, lets give her a learning disablity. I am sick of it!!!!!!!!!!!

BF trys to make sence to Darkness but it's like talking to a rock. I think he just gives up. Which completely pisses me off.

What I want, is to write a letter to both of them. These kids are going down the tubes, oh so you are divorced,big shit, BUT YOU ARE STILL THE PARENTS. WORK TOGETHER OR STOP F#CKING TALKING TO EACH OTHER!!!!

I've been listening to this bullshit for over a year, Nothing has changed, nothing. Bitch still runs the show, throws guilt all over the girls and BF. Manipulates everyone.

I don't know what to do.

Little Jo's picture

I spent the last hour writing down my feelings. I wrote a letter to the both of them ( which I will Not send to her ) and a separate letter to him. I just want him to understand how frustrating it is for me to sit back a watch him get run over by her. He did it for 15 years, ya think he would be tired of it. Plus I hate the fact I'm not aloud to tell her off.

Trust me, when I saw that text message, I wanted to text back "ever hear of parenting class".

tiff's picture

that you have to deal with someone like her. I think you should talk to the sd's and find out for real what they are saying what bm is saying etc. Sounds to me like BM is grabbing at straws and trying to get to you. She has no right to text you something like that- in any way. 1) its not her buisness 2)she should take a look at her parenting skills and judge herself