Incessant gaming and chattering disrupting biological son's studying
My biological son, 17, is studying for exams. Him and SS share the loft area in our home, but in separate bedrooms.
SS16 is an academic under-achiever who's also receiving therapy for a variety of developmental and psychological issues. He's completely obsessed with gaming, and plays a game that, as far as I understand, is meant for a younger (10-12) age group, called Fortnight. Fortnight allows players to talk to other players during game play. Now if I say he's obsessed, I mean that he gets up at around 10am in the morning, plays until 2am, without pause except to use the bathroom and displaying disgusting table manners by gobbling down his food. His chatter with other players is incessant and obnoxious.
I have pleaded with him and my husband to quieten down while he's playing, but to no avail. My husband did talk to him, in my husband's defense, yet he just keeps it up. It's almost Tourettes-like. My son also repeatedly tells the brat to STFU, but it's like talking to a brick wall. Two days ago my son had to study for an exam yesterday. In sheer desperation I told him not to use his own room, but to sit downstairs in our main bedroom, with the door closed. However, when we got home, he had to move back up to continue studying.
Needless to say, my son now says he didn't do well in his exam, because he could not study properly due to the noise. I was absolutely livid and told my husband that I do not care what the custody order says, I am sending the little brat back to his mom, even if she is on holiday. I am even prepared to buy him a plane ticket to be rid of him.
How do I handle this???? Quite frankly I want the little stepkid asshole gone from my home permanently. I've considered simply locking his xBox away, but it was a gift from his dad, and I doubt that taking his game console away would quiet him down. I can hardly also afford to go and put my son in a hotel every time he has to study.
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Comments
Failing the headphones..
The Local Library!
All my skids are like this. They have "learning disibilities--other" all brought on by piss poor parenting.
You are defending your
You are defending your husband, when he lets his 16 yo play video games 24/7, just because he asked him ONCE to quiet down? You are very generous. He might as well be letting his son smoke crack in the living room.
Lots of older kids and even adults are playing Fortnite. But your SS has a gaming addiction and it's likely making all of his mental health and developmental issues worse, and your DH lets him do it, PLUS lets him disrupt the household.
He needs to shut down the gaming for his own son’s well-being, not to mention yours.
Id hide the game console and
Id hide the game console and if hubby doesnt support you there is a problem. There is something wrong with this kid. The gaming addiction is not helping his brain development. The game is addicting. I nanny for an 11 yr old who I struggle to get to do anything once he's on the game. My skids dont play, I'm glad, but they still show signs of screen addiction.
Doesn't this game need the internet?
Turn of the router at 11 (or whenever).
Ive unplugged the router on
Ive unplugged the router on SS 11 & 10 but then SD19 cant do homework and our alarm system doesnt work.
Check what parental controls your provider has
Some allow different passwords for different users, with time limits. If not, DH has to get tough, tell the kid he either knocks off at a certain time, or the password gets changed, and he does not get new one.
Change the Wi-Fi password and
Change the Wi-Fi password and only give it to your son.
Block
dup
Block
his MAC address. you dont have to unplug the router.
log into the router and almost ALL routers have a menu to selectively block users by MAC address.
Please don't use the default password on your router either change it to something complex
There are long term and short
There are long term and short term solutions... and tbh.. your son needs to take some ownership for his own actions/behaviors.
1. If your son needs to study right now in peace.. noise cancelling headphones.. I know you want to get rid of the SS.. but the headphones will cut the noise issue and give your son the peace he needs.
2. You do probably need to set some internet restrictions for everyone in the home. Cut off at 10pm.. for example.
3. Your son needs to not tell people to "STFU".. that's just as rude as the other boy's behavior.. the difference is that your SS admitedly has issues that make his behavior maybe not 100% voluntary on his part.. but your son can choose to be civil.
4. I seriously doubt that a couple of hours less of study is why your son didn't do well on a test. Cramming at the last minute is not the best way to retain information.. sounds like he may have already been having issues with that class. Besides.. you would certainly have allowed him to stay in a quieter area of the home if he had said it was that big of a deal. I think he was feeding you an excuse.
5. Your husband needs to step up and parent more effectively.
You're really....
jeapordizing your son's future like this? It doesn't matter if this is his step or bio brother , your son needs quiet for his FUTURE. Lock up the XBox until exams are over.
I think the permissive gaming
I think the permissive gaming situation with your SS is horrible. Your DH needs to get a handle on that for the sake of his son.
But your son needs to take responsibility for his own studying environment. If his preferred study location is too noisy, then find another place. That's the way it works in the real world. If he goes to college, his roommates will not curtail their activities for his convenience. In the workworld, if someone needs quite space to think/write a report and the office mate is making work-related phone calls, for example, one or the other of them has to relocate at least temporarily.
This is my life. SS12 plays
This is my life. SS12 plays fortnite and another game ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Well, until 9pm when we set the router to turn off his PS4. But on wknds, he wakes up, plays games, takes bathroom breaks, and that's his life. He doesn't have a bedtime on wknds so he plays until the wee hours. It's constant nonsense on the headphones. I have heard the word "bro" so much that I joked with my SO we should make it a drinking game one night- every time SS said bro on his headset we had to drink. My SO said we would actually die from the alcohol. We would totally die. There is also a lot of yelling, and sometimes I have to go tell him to keep it down. I will NOT listen to a 12yr old yelling incessantly all the way from his bedroom while I'm trying to watch TV. Once I made a comment to my SO like, jeez, that is sooo loud...he didn't say anything. A minute later SS yells at the top of his lungs. SO didn't even flinch. I looked at SO and said, really? He was annoyed that I was annoyed, but I said, I don't care, there's no reason we should have to listen to a kid scream all day. He finally went and told SS to keep it down. It's ridiculous.
But I digress. I've seen how skids are, and they will NOT be quiet on the games unless they just don't have access to the game. Maybe SS gets to play for an hour or two a day during "off-peak studying" hours, and the rest of the time your son gets quiet to study. SS's video games are not more important than your sons education, that's for sure.
It’s your DH that is the problem
your DH needs to stop taking and start acting. So what if he yells at the kid to be quiet. Clearly the kid knows nothing will be done if he isn’t quiet. Time for your DH to take action. The remote needs taken away after a certain time and gaming limited. Plain and simple. Just take away the controller.
I too get livid when my DH or SSs are online too much and am over their constant chatter on fortnite. So I get how annoying it can be. But it’s not too hard to stop the gaming. We actually keep the game system in our room so at bedtime YSS has to shut it down and go to bed. No sneaking and playing all hours of the night.