SD 33 calls up my husband two days before Chiristmas to request that he meet with her so that she can drop off my minor BDs Christmas presents. We were going to put money in a savings bond for sgkids but H decided that he could not tell her that we would not accpet these gifts to my BDs and wanted me to go buy presents to give to sgkids instead of the bond and card 2 days before christmas! I did not want to accept any gifts from her for my BDs but I did want to give sgkids something so I could not argue with his logic that we couldn't say keep kids out of the arguement and then not accept a gift back for BDs.

So reluctantly I agreed but I still feel that their gifts are not given out of any love for my children just as an attempt to make them beholden to them for later manipulation etc.

My H called SD 33 up to arrange the exchange on Christmas Eve. The exchange took place at my SD's house so H got to see gkids open their presents in the laundry room. He was not invited in beyond the laundry room and SD barely spoke to him. SD's husband was also not very friendly H said. We gave no present to SD, her husband, or to SS. Likewise no present was given to my H or myself (but I will not miss the second hand gifts, dollar store items amd $10 ceramics - LOL and that was the few times I recieved anything at all). H was going to tell them that given the circumstances he did not want to exchange gifts between adults if they offered him something but it did not come up. Unfortunately SD also handed H a couple of envelopes with $20 in them from SS 35 supposedly to my Bds. SD 33 had written them and placed the money inside supposedly at his instruction. WTH we recieved all kinds of grief last year because H gave the adults money!!!!!!!! I personally don't care but don't be two faced about it! SS 35 has no children that we have been told of so there was no one to give a present to on his side.

However, we had been told that SS 35 showed up with a baby while visitng H's middle brother about 4 months ago that he claims was his through a one night stand but said his name was not on the birth certificate etc so we have no idea if this is true or simply a ploy to get attention away from my BIL's newest granddaughter! Either is possible I quess. He never told his father so I refuse to acknowledge any child I know nothing about. When he starts paying child support I will take his claim seriously!

We have no idea what precipitated this gift giving. Perhaps they wanted an invitation to the family party - in the past they have played similar games then done something like this and all was forgiven and H would ofer an invitation. NOT THIS YEAR! They may be trying to bribe and manipulate my BDs. However, adult skids did not even bother to acknowledge minor BDs ( their half sisters) on their birthdays this year so ..... We know that they stated last Christmas that they were jealous of BDs. Knowing this and after the off road vehicle evilness (see prior blog) I simply am uncomfortable letting my nimor daughters accept gifts from them.

Should I return them?

What do you think? How do I successfully argue with H about this. Please help.