I need insight please:)
Hello fellow step parents..its been a month since ive needed help..it was a busy month plus my ss8 wasnt around much i guess no drama lol..Ok so i guess i have questions but first the stories...So we just got back yestrdy from Sea World my mans n ss8 1st time..my idea but mostly my mans money used..i did spend a lot prepping..gas..oil change..etc...alll in all a great trip..like most trips we take they are amazing..b the most important part for me is bonding n creating memories..especially with ss8..it was his b day gift from us..Now we have been together 20months n living together..we have taken SS8 many places many fun and new exciting things..a lot of first time things for either all 3 or just the kid..but BM hasnt taken him ANYWHERE!!! NOT EVEN TO THE PARK...since weve been together..she only takes her baby n my SS8 to her moms n her current boyfrends work parties..Now im no brainiac but isnt it good for thr BM to bond n take her son places..wouldnt you want to spend time with ur kid before they get big??? Its not a competition between household whi will take him places but since me and my man are the only ones paying for and taking him places SS8 now expects us to take him to Disneyland too!! is this okay? that a child excuses his lazy no job havin mom to not take him and puts pressure on us even on a subconcious level to provide him with expensive trips and stuff?? hes noy a dumn kid he knows we both work he knows his mom wont work n is lazy..But is dnt say much other than i had a great time..I do let him know that these places are expensive n we have to save up.. he knows what savings are..I guess my question is...Why wouldnt a mom any mom of a young child not want to get a job work hard and save to take her child places and make memories?? or even a FREE PARK!!!does she think its all our jobs? And when it comes to SS8 wont he realize later on that his own mom never took him anywhere or did anything with him?
- Loving Life 33's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
You are making this into an
You are making this into an adult comparison. An 8 yr old will not dis out his mother. She can be a crack whore from hell and he will still love her because she is his mother.
Also the choice is yours whether to 'make memories' or not. I would only do it for the best of reasons. Surely the joy in taking him there over-rides the cost involved? And some of my kids BEST memories are the least expensive.
Telling a child that these places are expensive and cost a lot of money defeats the purpose of the trip. It is either to prove you love him more because you spend money on making memories or it is to prove his mother doesn't care about making memories. Or it can be because you WANT to take him to experience new things.
As for the not-so-subtle hints about Disney ... I would tell the boy that as this involves certain preparation and is a good idea. However so he will enjoy such a trip more then if all goes well it could happen when he graduates Elementary school. Of course it will involve very good grades and helping save the money. Sit down with him and work out how much it will cost. Allow $100 a day in food (it is pricy there!) and another $100 a day for souvenirs. Then add in the cost of accommodation and cost of tickets..... It will add up of course. S let the boy learn how to plan and save.
I was a SAHM. I CHOSE to SAH so my kids had me there 24/7 and then before and after school. Was it the best decision? I think so. I don't think a SAHM is 'lazy'. And seeing she has been his world since Day 1 of his life I doubt they really need to bond by taking in expensive entertainment.
One of my father's 'bonding' moments with me was when I was sick and recovering from surgery when I was 14. I felt dreadful and he cooked me my own very small meal. i cried as I told him I felt awful. He hugged me and told me tomorrow I would feel better and he would cook dinner for me every day until I was well again. THAT cost him nothing but love. And THAT is a memory that wills stay with me forever.
Thanks so much i see what ur
Thanks so much i see what ur saying..we do inexpensive things toommbut BM doesnt take him anywhere..She will even get a sitter or leave him at a neighbors to go to the store!!!! thatz crazy
You really think a parent has
You really think a parent has to spend money in order to bond/ create lifetime memories with his/her child??!!
^^^THIS DD is just as
^^^THIS
DD is just as thrilled to sit down in bed with me and read a book together as she is to go out. Heck me taking her to Walmart and just walking down the aisles is a thrill for her.
Quit worrying about what SHE
Quit worrying about what SHE is doing and just do what you want. It doesn't matter if she takes him all over or nowhere. It's her home and her time and NOT your business.
And a kid that just went to Sea World and now wants to go to Disney isn't spoiled or demanding--- they are a friggin' kid who just had an awesome time at a huge park and there is another huge park they can also go to have another awesome time and doesn't that sound fun to an 8 year old? Seems pretty normal to me.
Jesus. Get a grip.
Agreed..however..because he
Agreed..however..because he knows she wont work (ive heard her say it..she dorsnt want to, but then complains she doesnt get enuf child S) he excuses her...he knows since me n his dads been together n we r more stable that we will fit the bill..he tells me all the time she wont even take him to
the free park or free library or free swimming lessons!! NOTHINGM.NO WHERE!! NOT EVEN THE GROCERY STORE.. so you see this is why im frustrated..But i can sleep good at nite that me and my man spend time with him at home or go places and do things...i deel sad for her shes the one who has to live with knowing she wont even read a book with him and that she SUCKS!!! thanks everyone for ur comments i take them all
constructively.