So I asked my H what his thoughts on this new drama about BM's ex calling us to ask for more money, etc.

Well, he says that he doesn't believe everything that the guy told him and that he feels that the purpose of the call was to attempt to guilt us into giving BM more money so that he could not have to give her as much AND that the guy probably is just pissed that he is paying out a bunch of money to BM while we are "only" paying $1k.

Ok...

My H said that he is going to call BM to talk to her about it though.

Concern: that the kids have both told him that she is sleeping a lot and is "depressed." The concern here is that she *has* gone back to using drugs. She's probably popping pills. She probably needs help.

Ok, then there are the things that don't add up:

1. The van getting repossessed? Ok, wait. BM doesn't have a job, so there is no way she was able to finance a car. Come to think of it, her soon-to-be-ex is the one who financed the car. So essentially, he's pissed that he has to keep making the van payment even though they are getting divorced? He is using his "sacrifice" of continuing to pay for the van as a means to elevate himself to how "great" of a person he is to make sure that BM (and the kids) will continue to have what they need, and thus *we* should be doing the same.

Hmm. Well guess what buttercup? That's just what people have to do when they get a divorce. My H never married BM and is not obligated to provide any sort of comfortable life for her - even if the kids would benefit from it. We pay $1k per month in CS. That's plenty for the kids.

2. Getting evicted? This is unlikely as she is renting her aunts home. I am not so certain that BM has burned that bridge. We have decided to wait on making an opinion about this. Even if it's true, well she will have to find somewhere to live, because she can't just live on the street. There is no way the kids will be homeless and we wouldn't know about it. The kids are old enough to say something. So if she gets evicted and has to move into another home, big deal. It's not something that we need to intervene on.

3. Utilities being shut off? We were told that the cable and internet has already been shut off, but we know that it hasn't been because my H can still text both of the kids. So this was just an outright lie. So as far as the other utilities, we don't know what to believe. It's possible (and most likely) that this guy is exaggerating. On top of that, it could be that BM is lying to him. So who knows. Again, the kids are old enough to tell us if they don't have electricity or hot water.

4. No food on the table? Umm. I don't think so. This doesn't make sense. SS was just over this past weekend and he was talking about how his mom made the same thing the night before that I was cooking for dinner (chicken and gravy). He did tell me that he liked mine better than his moms, but then begged me not to tell her that, because she really likes cooking. So the kids are eating over there.

Conclusion:

So essentially, it boils down, probably, that this guy just has sour grapes. He's probably just pissed that he is making "all kinds of sacrifices" to "provide for BM and the kids." However, he's too ignorant to see that he has a really warped and misplaced sense of responsibility toward a grown woman who should be doing those things for herself. But he's so ignorant that he isn't even capable of seeing how he is hurting himself (and BM and the kids) - that he also absolutely convinced that WE should also feel that warped sense of responsibility toward BM.

I've gotta say, the man has balls the size of boulders to think that it's appropriate to call here to lecture us about what HE thinks our responsibilities are. He's really lucky that he talked to my H instead of me. I would have humiliated him, spanked him, and sent him home crying. The guy is just being a little bitch.