Have Had enough, I just want to cry.
Haven't posted for a while.
Lots of the usual crap, good and mostly bad.
Again tonight is skids night. I have worked so hard today, cleaned 3 houses from top to bottom and feel wiped out. Also was feeling that achey lower back feeling, weepy, tummy started hurting, and then - there it is - blood.
Only my last period only fucking finished last Saturday. So I am pissed off and upset and worried.
Got a text from OH saying they won't be home til 7:30pm. Why so late I asked, what's the point you will just have to turn around and drive them back to BM's. (half an hour away, have to be home by 8:30)
He said he doesn't have to have them back at the usual time tonight so he is keeping them longer.
I asked How much longer, explained that I feel like crap (and why)and just needed some TLC and an early night. and asked what arrangements he had made.
His only response was that he has made no arrangements just that he can take them back later than normal. That's it. NO concern, no sorry, no I love you and will take care of you later.
Am just so over it all right now (and yes that could be the bloody PMS LOL)
Am I unreasonable to have expected the tiniest bit of concern for me?
(there is a whole lot more in background crap that has been happening lately but I just don't have the energy to deal with reliving it to type)
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Thanks guys, I have always
Thanks guys, I have always suffered from iron deficiency anaemia (I have celiacs) This is the closest together I've ever had my period though, before that it was 18 days apart - average anywhere from 21 - 35 - but just a week - that is SO not on!!
Being Easter I can't get to the Dr but will go on Tuesday.
Would have been nice to have concern and support from the OH but no.
He came, with the skids, and only just left - at 9:45pm. Bastard. After me telling him twice I really didn't want them here late as I feel crap and just want to go to bed.
So pissed off.
Luchay I know exactly how you
Luchay I know exactly how you feel. My ex-bf would pull the same crap while we were dating. BM moved 45 mins away to be with her bf, and so if the kids wanted to hangout with their friends during BM's week the would come over to bf's house. He pops that on me during our date while out to dinner that his son is coming over. So I get NO privacy!
I got so mad that night I went home early. And he always would get kids dumped on him on BM's weekend. I thought we would never have a kid free weekend. I about lost it. There was always drama with BM, DUI, sexual assault from an ex-con she met online and went to his house on their first date, car breaking down and so forth. I'm so glad his sorry ass isn't in my life anymore.
Now, with SO, SS lives with us full time. In some ways that's more manageable, because I rarely get mad at the loss of a predictable schedule.
I've stopped doing almost any cleaning. I let SS and SO do it. I just wash dishes I use and work on my bedroom. I also cook only for me. No more cooking for picky eater SS.
I highly recommend you do the same. I've caught flack for it but in response I asked SO to read Stepmonster.
Spend the extra time you'll gain by taking care of yourself only. Your physical and mental health requires you to do this. I get low iron too after period and a multivitamin helps build up my iron quicker.
And yes you are totally reasonable about this. Your DH is treating you like you're just a visitor in you own house. Hes putting you last. It's your house too and He should consult you with changes in custody schedules. And you should be able to say no, especially if youre not feeling well. Some DH's have no clue how stressful an unpredictable custody schedul is.
Unless theres an emergency, You must have veto power on last minute changes in custody schedule. Why not? BM's have this power all the time. (and trust me BM might come up with all sorts of 'emergencies.')
All of the above is easier said than done, and will most likely cause some conflict. It did for me. So do what you're comfortable with until the time is right. There are all different levels of disengagement. You dont have to go as far as I did. Maybe have a calm discussion with DH about this first and do not buy into the 'you are coming between me and my kids.' defense. It's total BS.
I wish you the best!
yeah, by dh tried that
yeah, by dh tried that defense on me one time. i said, "no, i'm not coming between you and your kids. their bm did that when she moved them out of your house into a house with her boyfriend". never heard that again.
Thanks. At this point we have
Thanks.
At this point we have had them a portion of every weekend since mid December bar two. She is taking them away this weekend so YAY weekend off.
The reason I couldn't just go to bed is that I have 2 dd's here aged 10 and 7 so they all play together, I can't just go to bed while they are all up, I needed to be here to get my girls to bed when they left - It wouldn't be fair for me to make my girls go to bed and their normal time while the skids and OH are still here playing IYKWIM. Otherwise absolutely I could just leave them to it!!
I don't know - would like to hear about how anyone with their own kids in the houses manages to be disengaged. It just seems really hard to achieve. I already have different rules for my kids (who hate it but when they ask - usually in front of skids and OH I say "I am YOUR mother, it is my job to make sure you eat healthy (or whatever) and OH and BM are skids parents and it is their job to make sure skids eat what they think is ok" They ALL get that message and it has actually worked a little on ss9 - he realises that he is in fact missing out and does make more of an effort to eat salad and try stuff I cook now. He's getting better while sd12 gets worse.
I agree, sometimes I forget
I agree, sometimes I forget it's a whole different ballgame when you have kids of your own. A whole different set of problems.