Im the wicked SM

My SD9 is doing a book report on fairytails. This is on the heels of DH and myself banning all fairytales and princess books because SD thinks she should be entitled to that lifestyle. (A bitter point in our relationship) I told her how unhappy I was that she went against our rule and took out yet another book on the subject and she said she could because BM said so and the teacher didnt limit the topics. So I bite my lip and tell her to get cracking.

3 days later... (today) SD still has not written her report. I tell her to write key points while Im in the shower. After she presents me with "Rapunzle" Key points: She has long hair. The end. I asked if there were more and she said "Yea, the lady that takes Repunzle is like you, a witch."

NICE! Coming from the kid thats failing AGAIN. Shes stayed back once and is going to again. Even DH thinks shes damaged beyond our help thanks to the lazy BM that gives trophys for failure. I offer her help with this report and I get shit on. Out of my 3 sks shes the only one thats mean, rude and lazy. WTF.

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Oh.. I spelt Repunzel wrong

Oh.. I spelt Repunzel wrong bc thats how she spelt it even with the f'n book in front of her.

i would've told her, "well

i would've told her, "well how do you expect me to act, if you treat me like a witch, i'm gonna be a witch"

that shuts my skids up FAST

I think I would back off and

I think I would back off and let DH do the report with her.

And I would probably say, your right, so I will mind my own business today and stay out of yours.....
wouldn't lift a finger for her:
laundry
dishes
food
I would probably take the other three kids out for errands and stop by to get ice cream...

Sounds like the skid is

Sounds like the skid is ALREADY failing and ALREADY hates her SM.

Any other wise comments??

Yep! Thats what I (and DH)

Yep! Thats what I (and DH) hope to accomplish! A child that reads age appropriate books and doesnt use these pre-school Dora remakes as another excuse for why she can be a brat. Shes 9 and tells DH to f off cause shes "Mommas princess" He started the ban after she wore a princess costume to school and he got a phone call. SD told teacher that when she grows up shes going to not go to college cause she going to marry a rich man who will give her money and she doesnt have to do a thing. Teacher asked where this came from and she said "Momma says thats all I have to do and when I have a baby the state will pay for it if my prince wont." I <3 BM. Such good advice. :jawdrop: So in our house... shes not allowed to act a princess or even read about them.

Why doesn't she think she'll

Why doesn't she think she'll have to "do anything" if she marries a rich guy? Let me tell you EXACTLY what she'll have to do: She'll have to work out regularly and she will not be able to eat anything she likes, because if Daddy Warbucks isn't attracted to her anymore, when she's 40, he'll just trade her in for two 20's, if you catch my meaning. Any rich guy is also going to have a pre-nup, which she will HAVE to sign to even get a CHANCE at his money when he kicks her out and moves his "Goddesses" in. Also, she'll have to put out for him regularly while they're married, AND it will have to be whenever he demands it, not her choice. Sounds like pretty hard work to me if you just marry a man for his money and not because you love him or are even attracted to him. Then again, she COULD always just have an affair with the gardener as long as Daddy Warbucks doesn't find out...

Funny how women think it is

Funny how women think it is easy and no work to be married to someone rich - I had a friend that married a very rich man and let me tell you she worked - as you said she always had to look good - when he was home they had to do everything he wanted - he liked gourmet food so she had to be an awesome cook and the house had to be spotless at all times - she had to please him whenever he asked and if she wanted it and he didn't they did not have sex, she was always working out and hungry all the time because he liked his women thin - he was away alot on business and she could not go out and God forbid any of his friends would have seen her out without him they would have called him - it was a bad situation but in her eyes she did not have to go to work and she spent money like water but I always actually felt sorry for her!! Plus he never wanted children and she did but gave them up for him!!

Disengage totally. DH should

Disengage totally. DH should do the report with her. She was hostile and why should you put up with that. I have no problem with fairy tales if they are fantasizing but this kid is thinking that is reality and that should be discouraged. Girls should be encouraged to be whatever they want not live off the system. Sounds like she needs good role model books.

Disengage totally. DH should

We dont read cinderella

We dont read cinderella anymore b/c kiddo got real confused about the wicked stepmother and for three days after he tried to puzzle out why she was so mean and eventually concluded that im a nice stepmother and that lady was just not very nice and some people arent nice and thats why we have to be careful with strangers. sigh. you know in the original grimms fairy tales all the women who are stepmothers were biomothers - it was meant to be an exploration of the different facets of 'woman'. it has only been in the modern incarnations that re-writers decided that they should plug in stepmother. great, right?

I understand where you are

I understand where you are coming from since she is rude to you, but I think that you should let her dad handle her school work since she is mean to you. Tell her that she can read her books and be a princess, but you are the queen and your husband is the king. I would let her parents deal with her failing. I would also reward the ones that treat you well. I wouldn't make it blatant like take them for icecream and not her because she is mean to you, because that might make your husband upset, but you could still take the others for icecream and leave her and tell them that you are rewarding the others for being polite and doing good in school.

She is not your child so make the best of it. You can choose not to care and let her parents handle her.

Isn't it time to let go of

Isn't it time to let go of the 'princess' mentality for all of our female's sake? We were all fooled into thinking there was a prince charming, of course , there's not, he's an asshole, then you have to clean up after him, please him, and kiss his ass or else he get's abusive. So...maybe it's time for some REAL-TALES instead of fairytales. How about some real life stuff like learning how to take care of yourself, and not counting on some prince-daddy to rescue you from reality.
It would be very refreshing don't you think.

Bridge your post made me sad

Bridge your post made me sad and I hope that you don't have that type of man in your life because I don't think that all men are abusive - but we did grow up with that stupid happy ever after story in our heads and when real life smacked us we were not prepared - My DH is a wonderful man and I married when I was 36 so I knew that there was not a Prince Charming - (I kissed a lot of frogs in the process of finding DH) but for most of us on here you think you have found Mr. RIght and then realize that you have MR.SSwrong or MissSD wrong to also put up with - fairytales are sweet when you are 3 - 5 then it is time to put away the dolls and the stories and join the rest of the world - my DD loves her princesses but she is not treated as one and knows that they are just cartoons on TV -

If any of you are out there withan abusive asshole I pray that you find the strength to get out of that relationship cause while there is no Prince Charming there are a lot of hard working, honest and reliable men out there and everyone deserves to have a good guy and some happiness in their lives.

Our lives would be complete if there was no BM - some of the best days that we had with SS was when his mother for some reason decided that she really did not want to speak to SS on a regular basis and would leave VM's when he was in school or asleep and if he called her it went right to VM and she was always telling him how busy she was - life was good then without her interference but then for some reason she wanted to be supermom again and then it got dark again!! June 2012 it gets good again SS graduates and our contact with BM will be minimal there will be no CS being hung over our heads and hubby says he is going to tell her to go screw herself - I have my countdown calendar and we have 452 days till we tell her to pound salt!!!

I think fairy tales do more

I think fairy tales do more damage than good, really. I only had a more traditional wedding because I wanted to wear the pretty dress and look like a princess. If DH and I ever got divorced (probably not), and I met another guy, I'd be meeting him on my lunch break a the court house if I got married again. Also, the original versions of most fairy tales are totally f-ed up Medieval style! Have you ever read the original Little Mermaid by Hans Christian Andersen? Holy crap, Ariel gets legs and the story says it's like walking on razor blades every time she moves. Original Snow White? The evil queen is forced to wear red-hot shoes until she dances herself to death. Even the Disney versions tell girls it's okay to get married when you're 16 after knowing your "prince" for only, like, 3 days or meeting him once in the woods. I have to say, I do like The Princess and the Frog, though. That girl works HARD down there in New Orleans and still worked hard in her restaurant after marrying the prince, who also was taught the value of a good day's work. More girls can watch that one. Plus it's got VooDoo.

Well...thank you for your

Well...thank you for your comments,
I re=read my post and it is sad I guess....
I didn;t realize how bad it sounded.
for me to realize after eight years of being a slave, and in love with a liar.
and realizing I;m with a control freak who doesn;t know how to communicate, and blows up over the littlest things...I thought I was too smart for that.
Your post was very timely and
Yes. You are very patient and we all deserve happiness. I hope your four hundred fifty two day goes quickly, and your life gets good again.

I think that when you

I think that when you demonize something, it only makes that thing more appealing.

I can't say that I think "banning" someone from reading a certain genre of books is a positive decision, mostly because you can't control another person like that - she's going to read fairytales, somewhere, somehow, someday. It's inevitable. And a "fairytale ban" just makes those kinds of stories that much more attractive to her, which makes he want to read them that much more. And she will find a way to do it, outside of your home.

You have to decide if this is really a battle you need to fight or if this is just a control issue for you. Personally, I think it's petty and a kid should be allowed to read whatever floats their boat (age-appropriate, of course - we want to PROMOTE reading, right?) and make their own decisions about what they read on their own. She may be spouting off drivel that she's heard elsewhere, but that can be dealt with and she can be redirected. She will eventually think for herself, and I'm sure you ant her to be able to do that, so she should be given the freedom to do so.

JMHO.

I read the books, too. I'm

I read the books, too. I'm sometimes sort of drawn to the "dark side," if you will I think many people are, which is why we have the princess, prince, evil vs. good archetypes in our literature, our songs, our television and movies. I mean, look how we place those achetype identities onto each other on sites like this! - The "evil stepmother" and the "good mother." For whatever reason, those archetypes are ingrained in us and it is futile to "ban' them out of us.

Natural, I think your idea of exposure on all sides is a great idea. Even if the child's mother does place all that emphasis on the "princess" side of things, being exposed to other heroines that are independent, brave, kind and compassionate would balance the scales and give the child a better chance to make up her own mind, as she grows up.

We all want to be "princesses" once in a while. There's nothing wrong with that. We want to the the "queen" of our castle, we want to be the "first," "only," and "best" in many areas of our lives, do we not? There's nothing wrong with a young girl wanting to feel like a princess here and there. She'll get plenty real-world take-downs as she grows older.

I know I did. I'm no longer a princess, I'm now a queen and I rule over a kingdom of four with my lover and best friend, the king. My prince and princess are good and kind and we'll live happily ever after, until the end of time.

JMHO!

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