Skids grabbing each others crotch (HELP)
SS5 started grabbing SS2 by the crotch about 6 months ago. He does this in order to pull SS2 to the ground, to pull him from one place to another, and occassionally to punish him for being irritating in some way.
About three months ago, SS5 started grabbing his own crotch as well. We have asked him why and he says he doesn't know, but he grabs himself continuously regardless of the situation or the place. He stops when we tell him to, but ten minutes later he is grabbing his crotch again.
SS2 started grabbing SS5 by the crotch about two weeks ago, usually when the wrestle or in order to push SS5 out of the way.
We have told them both probably a hundred times not to do this, and the behavior continues.
This morning, I busted SS2 grabbing SS5 by the crotch on two different occassions. SS5 did nothing at all to stop him or dissuade him. The first time, I told SS2 to stop, SS5 actually interjected that it was okay because it just tickled.
ME: Neither of you need to touch anybody there for any reason. It's not nice to touch people there.
SS5: Why? It just tickles.
ME: That's a private place that other people shouldn't touch. It's not nice and it's not polite.
SS5: Yeah, and it tickles too. (smiling)
So, after getting nowhere with them, I tell DH and he comes and has a chat with them. I don't think their crotch chat is going to have much of an effect.
I am seriously worried that this is something they do on a regular basis at the other house, and I am also worried about WHY they are doing it.
Is this normal for kids their age? (SS5 is about to turn 6, and SS2 will be 3 in Feb).
How do we stop it?
Do I need to be worried that something more serious is going on?
Note: They are no long allowed to place in either of their rooms together because they torment and hit each other whenever they are not supervised. Yesterday, I busted them laying in SS5's bed together, both on their sides facing eachother nose to nose under the covers. I am seriously worried that they were in there touching each other now.
What do I do?
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are either of them in therapy
are either of them in therapy for any reason? if so, bring this up to the therapist. if not, get one after consolting with the pediatrician. i am not sure if this is normal or not. i personally think its gross but idk.
i really think that this behavior needs to be addressed by some sort of professional. even if neither boy is bothered by it, it isnt proper playtime.
be prepared to be questioned, possibly investigated. they take sexual abuse very seriously nowadays.
in the meantime, keep them seperated at all times. bedtime may be hard, but u may have to wait to go to bed urself until both boys are in deep slumber, to ensure that neither will sneak off to the other after u retire to ur bedroom.
also keep reminding them it is not appropriate. if needed, punish.
Neither of them are in
Neither of them are in therapy. I think it might actually be court battle to get them to therapy. SS2's speech is way behind, and BM has repeatedly threatened to take DH to court if he gets SS2 any help for it.
We are going to start sending them to time out for this. I am worried that we are going to end up getting investigated because SS5 just started school and I am pretty sure he is exhibiting this same behavior as school. He is exceptionnally smart, so he will probably be sneaky enough to get away with it until another child makes a complaint to his/her parents.
DH text BM about it and she has not responded in any way. I am at such a loss right now.
DH is going to call a therapist and see what she says about it.
I am close to panic mode right now. What's going to happen if a kid at school complains? Are we legally obligated to speak with the people are his school about this in advance?
document everything, when u
document everything, when u texted bm (save message on ur phone), document when it happens, ect.
i would also talk to the kids teacher. this way she/he can keep a close eye on him and let u know, for records, if anything happens at school. this will also help u if a kid complains. make urselves look good any way u can, because this type of thing is always blown out of the water and it will be YOU who gets the dirty looks, cause u know that if anything goes down, BM will make herself, and sons, to be the victims.
good luck and keep us posted.
I am worried about the school
I am worried about the school situation. I know DH will not want to talk to the school about it because he won't want to sigmatize SS5, but like you said, if something does happen it will come back on DH rather than BM or anyone associated with her. I am on the verge of calling CPS over this. Hopefully, the therapist DH calls will have some advice, but I am really truly worried at this point.