Well to start off just so you have some insight as to what challenges we started off with. My boyfriend/fiance whom I have lived with for the past 3 years now has 2 step kids, 14yr girl and a 17yr old boy, an ex wife which he divorced 4 yrs ago and was married nearly 15yrs to. The ex had been an alcoholic and a prescription pill popper for the last 8 years of their marriage, progressing every day till their last day together. The last episode was right before Thanksgiving and Xmas. She was highly intoxicated and on some pills. He had sat her on the toilet so she wouldnt piss her pants (she would always be that drunk), anyways she fell of the toilt with her pants down as the kids came home to only witness that. She started convulsing and foaming from her mouth and nose and eventually flat lined, literally no pulse. All of this in front of the kids. Now this wasnt the 1st time this had happened, but it was the 1st time this severe that their now 14yr old daughter had witenessed it. But please note this was the last time it ever happened in the house and in front of their kids. Needless to say he revived her till the paramedics should up to shoot her up with an adrenaline shot. In their last 8 yrs of marriage, she started off just modderately drinking vodka and gambled some. Then it progressed to the same amount of drinking but she started depleting their savings to support her other addiction of gambling. $1k, $2k here and then $3k, $7k and $10k there, adn then asking her mother to cover up her problm by loaning her the money to replace the savings, but that eventually ended and she was caught. Shortly after that she got caught cheating on him in their home while she had their 4yr old daughter locked in her room while she conducted her affair with this other man and all the while she was becoming a heavy drinker. It got to the point for the last 3-4 yrs before her getting kicked out of the house, their son was hot on her trail finding al of her stash spots. She would lie about like most alcoholics do. She eventually would try to cover it up by acting like she was only taking a bath but in actuality she was drinking. She got a little more clever in that she would empty a shampoo bottle out and fill it with her 'poison', which was vodka. Needless to say their son had endured alot throughout her years there. All the while dad always tried to cover it up with the daughter. *****Now with a little bit more insight, I can now explain a little more here about our current situation. Their mom still screws up, maybe not to that degree but close, she has married & divorced again, lies constantly, tells them BS just to distract them, promises them the world and then nothing happens and now she is 4.5-5 mo. pregnant from her new boyfriend of the past 6mo. ** Well for the past 9-12 months the now 14yr old has become increasingly more rude and disrespectful, partly which I know is her hormones but the other is something to do with her mother. She will go over to her moms, which she says it sucks, but because mom has no rules and EVERYTHING flies there, she wants to go. (mom lives with her mom, u know grandma) But mom is golden! The 14yr old in recent said she was mad at her mom for getting pregnant and she wants to kill the baby(ies)(theres twins). I understand there is animosity most likely amongst many other feelings that she probably has. I hate it when she goes over there and comes home with the biggest attitude and is sooooo rude to me and her father. They live with us and I do everything that a mother and parent should be doing for their kids. Before I moved in there were no chores and a lack of respect, just alot of spoiling and alot of 'turning a blind eye' to many things. I am a firm believer of discipline. I will love you, guide you, teach you many things but I will not tolerate rude or disrespectful behavior toward any of the adults that care for you here. She does not ask for things or favors, she tells you. She constantly is trying to correct us or tell us she's right and we are wrong, well specifically me. I use to do alot more for her but it got to a point where it was abused and there was absolutely no apprecation or acknowledgement. I still enforce chores, which I still get argument from. I tried to teach her how to cook and how to clean properly and not half ass. I tried to teach her some manners and table manners at that. I help her with her homework, I sign school docs, I take her to school, I have taken her shopping, etc... etc... etc... She will override me in every situation that I tell her 'no' and go directly to dad and manipulate him into getting her way. He is a total push over in the sense that all he does for the most part is ignore and does not try to correct it or nip it in the butt, when he does get mad or to his limit, he just yells and threatens in which it is just a threat with no consequences the next time as he promised. Me on the other hand if I tell you the next time, I mean it. Ex.; the attitude was in full force and stayed constant I told her she had a choice that the next time she lipped off to any of us adults, her door was to come off and there would be no computer for a week. Well it happened and he ended up taken the cell phone away as well and we limited her tv viewing and there was no fun time with friends. That ended up being a 4 week ordeal as the attitude persisted and privileges were taken away. I guess she finally learned. *** To me dad has no consistency with discipline. He caves, forgets or just does not want to deal with it. I on the other hand the exact opposite. It is becoming more of a problem every day that passes. I feel like what he allows affects me and her. She knows that dad will catch it or deal with it as promised the next time. She has even said she knows it. She takes everything and everyone for granted. She constantly mumbles, back talks, is rude, unappreciative with everything and then expects the world to come hither to her every becknoned BS. She takes advantage of everything. Now the 17yr has always showed more respect in the sense of keeping in touch with dad when he is not a home. But her, once she is out those doors, you cannot get a hold her nor will you hear from her. Only on her terms will you. I tell not to do something and explain to her why but she will just end up doing it any way. For example she was doing some school project on the couch. Mind u she had permanent markers. I told her to do that at the kitchen table and make sure she had some newspaper or something underneath it. Well low and behold she did not listen and there were 2 big fat 1-2" marks on the couch. In front of dad none the less. I got irritated with it and he of course acted like nothing and with that being said, she acted like nothing and told me why should I care if it is not my couch. I do care regardless of whose it it and well my dear she has marked up my couch in the other room with pens and has spilled soda on the microsuede! I coul go on and on and on, I just need some help, advice, recourse, some words from the wise. It just keeps getting worse every day. And mind you she for the most part hibernates in her room or on the computer which I have a good mind to limit the usage on. HHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!