You are here

What to do with sd of 5 years old

mel30's picture

Submitted by mel30 on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 2:57am

Hi there
New question Our little 5 year old told my dh this weekend that she told her mom that "her dad doesn't love her any more" and she said that her mom said she must stay away for her father. Were does a freaking 5 year old come up with this? i have just had enough of her. She doesn't respect me our her father. And everyone around us says that she is doing nothing wrong???? its okay if they say stuff about her but how dear we?
Is this normal
Please help me

Comments

SASX's picture

Submitted by SASX on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 6:29am

You have a few choices here. At at five children are more than old enough to manipulate to get their own way.

1) She is regurgitating/parroting what someone- likely her mother- has been telling her. Not the kids fault if this is the case for some god unknown reason kids will believe whatever their mothers tell them, even if they know it is false or a lie.

2) She is attention seeking. Knowing if she says these words you and your DH will swoop in pick her up and give her tons of attention to "prove" that her daddy still loves her.

3) she is manipulating: Was she in trouble when she whipped this line out? Some kids will pull a one liner like this out of their butt when their butt is on the line. Then dad gets to thinking "Crap the kids doesn't think I love her. If I send her to timeout/clean her room.do her chore/whatever she will really think I do not love her.

4) She is testing the waters to see if #2 or #3 will work.

mel30's picture

Submitted by mel30 on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 7:52am

I have to say this one is very good at manipulating!!! She is for ever saying bad stuff about me and her dad. The one time she said that i pinch her and that her dad bother her when she wants to sleep i think she was 3 years old.
She doesnt want to come to us she screams and say all sorts of nausty words.
To be honest i dont think this come from the mother because when its our weekend - its your weekend. NO matter what.
She is always crying and saying she is missing her mom.
The one day I asked her why is she not coming to us and she told me that she doesn't love me anymore.
On weekends now she stays with dh mother. And let me tell you that is also not helping.
They cant see anything wrong with her. she is a angel in their eyes and me and dh is the step parents. They can say she needs a therapist but when we say that omw all hell brakes lose how dare we say that - dubble standard im telling you :O
Both of us really dont know what to do anymore.
It's not nice there is a atmosphere when ever she is around. We are to scared to do or say anything in our own house.

What to do????

oncechoosetosmile's picture

Submitted by oncechoosetosmile on Mon, 03/19/2012 - 4:58pm

I worked with children all my life.I have three of my own and a 7 year old SD.
If somebody tries to tell me that a 5 year old is only a baby and doesn't know what he/she is doing or saying that person must be completely unexperienced with children or wear pink glasses as thick as walls.
If we want it or not, most 5 year olds, and ESPECIALLY GIRLS!!!, are very capable of manipulating their parents to the max for pure selfish purposes.I see this as normal attempts , not necessarily evil- kids in that age are truly self centered and need to learn to realise that there are others in the world !!By allowing them to play games and being manipulative we are creating little monsters that will refuse to become loving and caring beings.