Update on School Fees/why do some BM's feel the need to get nasty
Ok, so school fees drama still continues (see previous blog)
http://www.steptalk.org/node/97878
SO called the school again on Tuesday and was told they had debited his card the rest of the fees. A whole $150. So BM has paid $700, we got send a photo of the receipt so we know this has been paid. BM also gets EMA (education maintenance allowance) worth $300 so, if my maths are correct, and I believe it is, that totals $1150. Yep close enough to $1200, however, $300 of that she hasnt paid herself, it came from the govt, but still wanted $600 as half of the fees???? correct me if i'm wrong but thats only 425 not 600.
SO decided he was not going to give BM anything other than the $150 he paid to the school as she wouldnt provide any info, just wanted cash in her hand, called up ranting and raving and abusing SO. I find out last night that he has asked her for banking details so he can deposit money into her acct. So the argument we had this morning centered around whether or not he was going to tell me about giving her money, he said he was going to tell me next week. Yeah thanx SO, and here I was thinking we were a united front, turns out that FMiL has been calling him and abusing him for not supporting his son, and yes he pays his child support every month on time, (oh and the fact that BM called him up and went off her chops abusing him while SS was in the same room is apparently also his fault according to FMiL) so he was just trying to get her off his back.
This woman, is coming to our house xmas eve as she couldnt possible make time to see her own son on xmas day and says she wants to be part of her granddaughters life (I am currently 32 wks preg with a little girl) I dont know what to say to her, i am thinking I should probably make myself scarce that day, not really sure what is going to come out of my mouth.........
What do you guys think?
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Comments
You NEVER EVER pay the BM
You NEVER EVER pay the BM directly for anything. If you are court ordered to pay for daycare, you pay the daycare. If you are court ordered to pay 1/2 medical copay, you pay the healthcare facility. If you are ordered to pay child support, you pay through Child Support Enforcement. If you are ordered to pay fees to the school, you pay the school. This is the way to go, trust me. Just remove BM from the equation. She mails you the bill, you pay the creditor. Period. Don't negotiate with the terrorist. There is no reason for her to even speak to you about this.
Exactly ^^^^^^^^
Exactly ^^^^^^^^
Don't feed the bear. You know
Don't feed the bear. You know why those signs are in national parks? It isn't because the bears need a nutritional diet. After all, the bears will eat from garbage cans. The reason you don't feed the bears is because once you are out of food, the bear will attack and try to eat you.
If your DH caves every time BM yells at him...well, I hope he's very rich.
I agree with GNJ, "Don't negotiate with the terrorist. There is no reason for her to even speak to you about this." Your DH shouldn't have to speak with her either after he tells her no. And NEVER pay directly to BM. Amen to that!
Over here court orders are
Over here court orders are for custody and child support is taken care of through CSA, totally separate.
So there is no court order for custody and BM and FMiL do their best to keep SS out of SO's life but BM has filed for CS through CSA. When CSA calculate the amount of CS payable they take into consideration the wages of both BM and BD, and the age of the child. Things like school fees etc are factored into the amount you pay per month. So technically he doesnt have to pay her shit.
The only reason he asked for banking details is because FMiL keeps ringing him and abusing him for not supporting his son and he cant pay the school directly because BM has already paid it so its either pay nothing and cop the abuse from FMiL or pay it directly to BM. I am all for not paying one single cent. I have told him I will deal with FMiL if she calls to abuse him again. She is apparently coming to see us on xmas eve, after she couldnt possibly make time to see SO on xmas day. Here's hoping I dont blow a gasket and make things worse!!