When does it ever eff-ing end?

So I've been in the hospitial since Friday at 2pm. I was admitted becaus my water broke. After 24 hours of labor, dilating to 10cm, epidural not working at all (redid it twice), pushing for 1 hour, the doctor finally does an emergency C-section. Weirdest feeling ever. Baby boy is healthy, 8 pounds 1 oz. I'm doing okay as expected. But they are keeping me until Tuesday.

Anyways Bm blows up dh phone today because she is not able to pick up ss at dh FIL house (she knows we are in the hospitial). She says that her parents will pick him up, and dh explains that he cannot do this because a few weeks ago she had her lawyer saying we needed to follow the CO 100%. We have a court order that dh family can pick up/drop of/exercise dh visitation time. Bm does not have this for herself.

Bm texts back the the CO also states the both parties will work together to benefit Ss. So dh calls her out that she is interpreting the CO and the CO also states that resonable contact between parents and ss when at other parents house. It's been three years for us. Dh also said that we will no longer play her games and will follow the CO 100% just like she requested. She said that she would call the police (no surprise there) And have them pick him up from FIL house and bring him to his work. Dh texted that if she wanted to use poor parenting judgement and waste taxpayers dollars to have at it. But he will not be allowing FIL to release SS in her parents care, only her care.

This may sound petty, but it you haven't been following my blogs please read them. This women is crazy and always thinks we are going to play her games and if we don't she will call her "cop" friends. Ugh I hate this women. This is suppose to be me, baby, and dh time to bond as a family in the hospitial and for me to heal. Not to deal with her blowing up dh phone.

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I'm confused, is it BM's

I'm confused, is it BM's parenting time and your DH is refusing to let SS go because BM needs her parents to pick him up? I think you better run this past a lawyer because he is denying her parenting time and if she hauls your DH back to court and he gets a pro-BM judge he will be found in contempt.

No. It's dh parenting time.

No. It's dh parenting time. He gets SS every other weekend. We have a court order that if dh can't exercise his time that one of his family members can. Ss is to be returned to BM today and she does not have a CO designating anyone else to receive SS. Dh FIL had ss because I'm in the hospitial. She was unable to pick him up, so she wanted her parents too. She sent a letter a few weeks ago from her attorney saying we needed to follow the CO 100%. So that's what we are doing. We do not have to release SS to anyone but BM, that's following the CO 100 percent.

The reason we have this wording for dh and his family is due to use living over 2000 miles away for 3 years. Dh wanted his son to still maintain a relationship with his family during the EOWE. Ss then came to use during the summers.

So the CO specifically says

So the CO specifically says Dh parents can, but fails to state anything about BM strictly being the only one who can do pick-ups/drop-offs. You're choosing to insist only BM herself can...but that is not what CO says. It doesn't address who can or can't on BM's part so basically BM having her parents do this pick-up is not against the CO.

However DH refusing to let BM have her parents pick up children from FIL's house this afternoon could very well put him in jeopardy of failing to allow the return of kids when it is now BM's custodial time. You're banking that because your CO doesn't address she may have an alternative exchange person that she absolutely must not/can not.

Do you really want to play games with this? It doesn't matter that BM annoys the hell out of you and plays BS on your DH all the time to the point you feel a bit of pay-back is long over due....but lack of addressing does not make the alternative pick-up person wrong nor against the CO. Save your 'gotcha' for a time when you know something is out of bounds and against the written CO.

Besides, letting the kids go with the grandparents means they are out of your way and you'll not have to listen to BM. She'll stop calling, FIL will be free to relax and enjoy his evening and DH can focus on you and baby.

I've studied contractual law

I've studied contractual law in school. I specialized in negotiations. Granted its a little different then custody law, but principles are still the same. There is not interpretation to contracts. It's exactly what's written down. Same thing as a court order.

Yes, dh has a part about his family. Bm does not, she was too stupid to ask for it, thinking dh would always cave to her crap. This is what happens when you are of lower society with no education.

She hired a lawyer and sent us a letter stating that we had to 100% follow it. That's exactly what we are doing. If the roles were reversed right not and DH had no one else designated in the CO. She would be calling the police.

I don't let people like this get away with shit like that, especially when I have to live it. Many people may see my way as passive agressive - well to those people, I am passive aggressive. Don't poke the bear, especially a day after a horrible labor.

yep Reality and Twopoints are

yep Reality and Twopoints are spot on here....

agreed!

Dh would have been fine to

Dh would have been fine to hand ss over to her parents. They are not bad people. I think dh has come to a point where he is sick of her shit. It's a bunch if petty shit, but when it happens twice a week, every week it gets old. Then she will ask dh for favors after she pulls all this petty shit. Before he was very willing to help her and change/modify weekend visitation. But after 8 years he got sick of always helping her out, she the pulling pity shit, and then never wanting to work with us if we needed something. I.e. Our only "favor" we asked for this entire time was to switch weekends so ss could attend our wedding. She said no, so we took her to court and won. Pretty ridiculous having to pay 1500 just to have someone at the wedding.

yeah...I completely agree

yeah...I completely agree with Sue on this one.....

Making up excuses and us

Making up excuses and us causing the drama? Clearly you ladies are passing judgement before reading any back history. Jumping to conclusions make you sound less then intelligent. BM has poke'd the bear too many times and now the bear is biting - yes, some are petty and some are not, but eventually you come to a point that you WILL NOT take anymore.

Yup, you got my life down pat

Yup, you got my life down pat - I clearly enjoy drama over my new baby.

Palm to face...

right on Tommar!...

soooooooo, let me get this

soooooooo, let me get this straight...you JUSt had a baby, and the only thing you care about is jumping on ST and bitching about BM.....are you serious right now????????????????????????????????????

This.

Wow. Some women on here are

Wow. Some women on here are overly judgemental for being step moms. Usually women that come to this site have issues with skids, dh (which I don't have because I'm not spineless to stay with someone that treats me like crapp), BM - so in some messed up way we are all linked. Yeah I just head a baby, yeah she blew DH phone up about this and that's how we decided to end it. Stuff still needs to be taken care of, decisions still need to be made. The world doesn't end, heck I was answering work emails before and after birth. Do you expect me to wait in my room and sulk that baby is not with me when he is getting checked out by doctor? Is it a crime that I blog because I'm bored out of my mind. Go read scary mommy confessions.

She asked to follow the court order, even hired a lawyer to write a letter. Anyone with have a brain would follow the CO, especially when the BM loves to change her mind at the last minute and threaten to call the cops.

Some of you don't have physco BM, and be thankful for it. Some of you do, and if you have been through the crap I have, you would think the same AFTER 8 YEARS.

I have put my foot down and will not deal. Judge me if you want, but then you are only judging yourself.

Peace out,
Ragging hormones!

EXACTLY Most situations,

EXACTLY

Most situations, everyone advises to follow the CO 100% with psycho BMs. Why not this time??? Especially if BM had recently had her lawyer send a damn letter about it!

I have a hard believing that

I have a hard believing that the judge would slap DH hand over this crap. We have been building a case on her for sometime now. During my maternity leave and his paternity leave we will be traveling to her home state to search for lawyers. We have already started writing out what we want. I can do most of the work since I am able to write legal contracts. Then the lawyer would have to tweak it a bit.

We have contempt charges to file on her with multiple violations. That way we have solid proof that she is non compliant. We also have an open CPS case on her - she doggie shamed SS. She even sent us the proof.

I'm really not worried over 3 grand for a retainer. Dh and I decided long ago to make smart financial and educational decisions.

I have a hard believing that

I'm really not worried over 3 grand for a retainer. Dh and I decided long ago to make smart financial and educational decisions.

Usually women that come to

Usually women that come to this site have issues with skids, dh (which I don't have because I'm not spineless to stay with someone that treats me like crapp),
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Bahaha! Pegged a few on this one huh?! And I am amazed that some are giving you crap for being on stalk right now. You did not check with the masses before posting? Shame on you! lol. JK. (I am in a mood this AM,)

Anyway...I am on the fence about letting BM pick up or not. On the surface it IS petty. But after being raked over the coals by her, over and over, I can see there needs to come a time to stand up quit being the one who gets walked all over.

Congrats by the way.

Shit! You are right...

Goddess of step talk - are you okay with me being on step talk right now? Or should we call CPS on me for neglect? I guess I forgot that I am suppose to sit here in the hospitial and stare my baby all the time. Even when he sleeps all day. Oh, and I'm suppose to sulk and cry when he goes to the nursery.

Bad mommy - maybe I'll call them my self

I understand that this was petty. If it was an isolated situation I would have ignored it. However that is not the case - I usually get the cops at my house once a month and I have to see dh get hurt from all the crap she pulls. I don't want people hurting my family.

I also prefer to take care of situations right away. If I wait to address something I will have more time to dwell on it and get more pissed. This would lead me to saying something that could get me in trouble or something that I might regret.

I hope I did peg a few women with my comments. Some women here are overly judgemental before reading the entire blog/back story.

honey, you didn't "peg" any

honey, you didn't "peg" any poster on here that disagreed with you...YOU are being petty about this...we called you out...you got pissed....life goes on....

I'm pissed because there are

I'm pissed because there are some women on here that think they can complain about there issues but be a hypocrit when other step moms share there issues as well.

I don't think I have ever been this rude to another step mom for sharing there issues. There might be times when I read something and make a frowning face at it. But I don't call people out on their actions. This place is for us to vent and get advice when we ask for it. Not to come here and start harping on other SM.

So remember everytime you blog about your issues that it may be petty and you once told another SM not to be this way. There are thing that you blog about that I don't agree with, but I don't like beating other people up for having similar issues as me/step related issues.

I stand by my decisions. My son knows he is my world.

I don't think the main issue

I don't think the main issue is the CO at all....

I think the issue is that your DH told you about this all while you are sitting in a hospital bed recovering from a difficult birth. I can't see any need for involving you in this and putting a black mark on your childbirth. He could have kept this drama to himself until you were better or forever, really.

Congrats on your new baby!

^Agreed

Dh didn't tell me. I asked

Dh didn't tell me. I asked why his phone was blowing up. He is not going to lie to me to keep my fee-fees from hurting. I like knowing what is going on, and I like that my husband involves me in decision making when it comes time to handle ss and Bm. That's what a marriage is, we work together and make decisions together. I will not another women share a private life with him involving a child that also does not include me.

My birth does not have a "black mark". Life doesn't end just because I'm giving birth, logistics of another child still need to be made. I got 5 days of staying the hospitial to bond with baby.

All these attacks on other

All these attacks on other women who disagree with you. We all (well most of us married women) know what a marriage is. I also know that my DH would have shut BM down immediately & quit responding. I wouldn't have to ask why his phone was blowing up, because it would be silenced or turned off completely.

"Usually women that come to

"Usually women that come to this site have issues with skids, dh (which I don't have because I'm not spineless to stay with someone that treats me like crapp)"

I think it's considered treating you like crap that he's ruining the day of your child's birth by interracting with & telling you about his BM drama.

He could have told her no, see CO, turned off the phone & kept it pushing.

Or he could have ignored & then taken it up with a lawyer afterwards.

Instead, here he is putting drama on the day of your child's birth & you will forever remember this when thinking about their birth. That's the problem I have with this, & why I would be peed off if it were me (I'm currently 12 weeks pregnant so I feel your pain - I'd hate BM to insert herself on my day. which is why his phone will be off).

Sorry, but reading some blogs

Sorry, but reading some blogs on here, my dh treats me like gold. He only involves me in this because I have told him from day one that I will not be a silent partner. I don't need to justify how DH treats me, I know he would do anything for me. And if you have read my blogs you might get a sense of my personality. There is no way I would stay with anyone that treats me like crap. I'm not tied to him financially, like a lot of women are, I make the same salary as he does, same education level - so I could make it on my own.

Congrats. My DH makes very

Congrats. My DH makes very good money. I make more. I am not tied to him in any way other than my marriage certificate, which is enough obviously lol. I have a say so in everything on his end with SD. I care for my SD & am only disengaged form BM. I complain about small things my DH does, but nothing large like some women on here complain about. That makes me no better or worse than them, nor does it make my advice any 'better' or theirs any 'less' imporant.

However, with me- this wouldn't have flown. Because BM won. I bet she didn't care if her parents picked up their child or not. I can almost put money on it. What she wanted was to insert herself into that hospital room with you & DH. She wanted an argument going. She wanted bakc & forth texting. & she got that.

I don't let BM win, ever.

ETA - I think your BM is probably a loon & I agree with your DH telling her no. I don't know all the details but it seems like she wanted things that way, not flexable. I understand your frustrations. & if you're always involved your DH probably thought you'd want to know this. My DH was that way. I had to tell him if it wasn't something he couldn't decide, to keep me from it. Because if it's just BM being a loon, he needs to shut it the f down & keep it away from our family.

I agree with Queen on this.

I agree with Queen on this. The BM ended up getting what she wanted your DH's attention on your day. I'm so sorry she is a POS.

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When does it ever eff-ing end?

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