Accidentally killed my cat
I just need to get this out there. I have been crying for the last few days and I need to write everything down to process this. If you want to hate on me, that's okay cause I feel pretty low about it myself.
I was washing a very large heavy rug that had rubber lined on the bottom of it. I went down stairs to move the rug from the washer to the dryer. Loaded the dryer, turned my back and grabbed a dryer sheet, started the dryer and walked out. I went back upstairs to get ready as we were going out to do shopping. I was calling for my kitty so I could put her in her room and she normally meows at me. My husband made a comment about the dryer making a thumping noise, but I assured him that I was drying the large rug. I went back to getting ready and packing the diaper bag and my husband went out to the garage to get DS2 in the car seat. I had to find kitty cause she needs to be in her room when we leave. I could not find her anywhere! I went into the basement where the laundry room wash and the thumping was pretty loud. I opened the door and down came my kitty barley holding onto life. I grabbed her and screamed. I ran upstairs, out to the garage and just bawled. My husband grabbed her and a basket. I held the basket on my lap and we raced to the vet about 5 blocks away. She was gasping for air and started to seize. She took let last breath as we were turning into the vet parking lot.
I blame myself for not looking in the dryer from when I turned my back for the brief second to grab that dryer sheet. I blame myself for not checking the thumping noise my husband mentioned or trying to find her sooner vs going back and getting ready. I blame myself for not knowing that cats enjoy the warm dryer and like to venture in there.
I miss my kitty, she was only 5 months old. I don't think I've cried so hard before. I hurts me deeply knowing I cause such pain on an innocent kitten during her last minutes here on earth. I don't know how I will ever forgive myself and get the picture of her helpless body out of my head.
If you are a cat owner or thinking about being a cat owner - always check your dryer! I do not wish this pain on anyone and I do not wish for another kitty to go through such pain.
- MidwestStepmom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I ran over the only cat I
I ran over the only cat I ever loved. my heart aches for you!
Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. I
Oh, honey. I'm so sorry. I know two things: this was a horrible accident, and your kitty had a great life and knew how much you loved her. Even though her life was short, she was so lucky to have you. You cared and she knew that. As soon as you knew you were with her, holding her, and loving her. So many kitties never know that much love in their entire lives.
My wish for you is finding peace after your grief. It was a horrible accident. It wasn't your fault. She was a curious kitty in the wrong place at the wrong time and you did something as soon as you knew. She doesn't blame you and she would want you to forgive yourself.
Someday I hope you can honor her life and give another kitty in need a loving home.
Sending thousands of hugs your way.
My ex SIL who is the most
My ex SIL who is the most devoted cat lover (and any pets) did the exact same thing about 30 years ago. She wanted to die (but not suicidal) from the pain. It was a horrible and painful mistake.
I'm so sorry. I almost did
I'm so sorry. I almost did this exact thing once because I had a dryer that didn't always close right. I was about to fluff the towels that I'd already dried the night before but let sit overnight...clicked the door shut and then my brain registered something "off" so I opened the door again. My new kitten was sitting there purring on top of the towels. I don't blame you one bit, even though I know you feel terrible about it. It was an awful accident...and it can happen very easily.
My dog died in my arms in the emergency vet's parking lot on January 2nd, so I know how you feel. He pushed his way out of the basement and dug out of the yard because of the fireworks and got something called bloat. I blame myself as well. Should have stayed home with him, should have double-checked to make sure the basement / doggie door was extra secure...should have given him some kind of sedative... There are plenty of regrets over things I "should have' done.
Please don't be so hard on
Please don't be so hard on yourself. Cats like dark, enclosed spaces and they move quickly and quietly. I can see how you would not have known she was in the dryer. About 30 years ago my Aunt did the same thing. She cried for a week - and then told everyone she knew about what happened so they could spread the word so others would know to always check the dryer.
I accidentally locked on of my cats in a closet and then left town for almost 4 days. I didn't realize he had followed me in the closet and he was hiding behind some clothes. He was dehydrated but ok. Now I do a head count before I leave.
I know you are going to keep blaming yourself - but please remember you are not the only person to do something like this.
I accidentally killed my
I accidentally killed my sister's bird. I would put it on my shoulder and it's wings were clipped and it would just hang out on my shoulder. One day When I went outside with it on my shoulder, it actually was able to fly away!!!!!!!!!!! A cockatiel. I think because its wings were clipped it was not able to fly down to me. I cried for a long time too.
oh hun, i am so very sorry
oh hun, i am so very sorry for your loss. i can see how hurt and guilty you feel, and i hate that for you. it was just $#!tty timing and $#!tty circumstances. but animals are funny tho', they know those who love them and care for them deeply - you know kitty doesnt blame you, and i'm sure she was comforted to be with YOU for her last breath. (((hugs)))
Thank you everyone for the
Thank you everyone for the kind words. I am getting through this by staying busy cleaning my house, I do catch myself drifting off and start crying again. I can't get the picture out of my head from when I opened the dryer. I donated at the kitty supplies to kitty's I need, just having her stuff here was a constant reminder. I buried her with her favorite blanket.
I thought about sharing this story with my family, to help save future kitties from this. I'm just not sure they will understand and I could see the cops showing up at my door asking about animal neglect.
I'm so sorry this happened.
I'm so sorry this happened. It could happen to anyone. Until my most recent kitties (with DH who is opposed to collars for some stupid reason), I would put a little bell on their collars just because they can be so silent.