Anyone have a DH/BF/SO that literally does EVERYTHING for their 16 yo. daughter...even filling out JOB APPLICATIONS??? (Poll)
This has to be one of the strangest things yet that my BF has done involving skids.
I came home from work and my BF was sitting at the kitchen table, using the laptop computer, struggling through filling out online job applications...for over 2 hours. SD16 was sitting on the living room couch, ignoring my BF - not helping, not participating, not a care in the world what my BF was doing.
What's so strange about this? you are wondering...
Hint: My BF already has a full-time job and doesn't need another one...
Any takers???
Turns out my BF was filling out online job applications FOR SD16!!!!!!!! HOLY COW, is this REALLY happening??? Why the HELL would a father be filling out a job application for his child???? I'm totally disgusted and need to vomit just thinking about this. Is there ANYTHING that any of these precious princess skids are EVER taught to do FOR THEMSELVES??????
Crayon...this one's for you: FILE THIS ONE UNDER YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE OF LAZY SKIDS GETTING DADDY TO DO SOMETHING THAT SHOULD BE A BASIC LIFE SKILL
Update/Edit: I just realized that I may not have conveyed the POINT of why I was writing/venting about this: It was NOT to show that my BF is being a control-freak or not, but that HE WAS (ONCE AGAIN) DOING SOMETHING THAT IS A HUGE LIFE-LESSON FOR SD16 - heaven forbid she have to lift a finger to try or actually expend any effort or energy FILLING OUT HER OWN DAMN JOB APPS!!! AAAAHHHHH!!! This just really makes me want to SCREAM!!!
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Comments
This isnt really what you are
This isnt really what you are looking for, but you just hit on what drives me batty about my own biomother. She is a control FREAK. She wanted me to go to college so bad (and i didnt), that instead of letting me figure out how much life without an education sucks the hard way (which i did anyway), she not only filled out six different college applications, pretending to be me, but wrote six personal essays, pretending to be me, and then mailed them all in. She has written research papers for my sisters, does my brothers homework to this day (he is 13)...Her reasoning is that if she doesnt do his homework then he wont do it and he will fail. So let him!!!!! Its his responsibility!!! They have no respect for her and she demands no respect from them. They treat her like shit. I routinely get into fights with my siblings about the way they treat my mother. As a teenager, the fights got physical. it always comes back to them saying that she lets them treat her that way, lets them take advantage of her. Its disgusting. Its so disgusting.
LOL!! Oh god dont tell her
LOL!! Oh god dont tell her that!!!!
Em.. and as for my siblings... I have a lot of hope for my little brother, he's a lot like me, but smarter. Way smarter. My 18 year old twin sisters are spoiled little twits who expect the world to be handed to them on a silver platter and fed to them with a silver spoon. They think that they can get drunk all the time, spend money like it grows on trees, do party drugs, lie to my parents, not go to school and sleep with every guy they think is cute and none of it will have any consequences. And my parents of course reinforce this by bailing them out of EVERYTHING. My 17 year old sister is on the fence. She's a good kid but she idolizes the older two. we'll see what happens.
Hey Iwishyouwould, thanks for
Hey Iwishyouwould, thanks for your comment. I actually think I was unclear about the POINT of what I was venting about. It's not that my BF is a control-freak (he's actually quite the opposite with skids - no rules, no punishment, no consequences, you get my drift), I was venting more about the fact that HE'S the one online filling out HER job apps. FOR HER!!! Isn't that insane? She's 16!!! Is he going to actually GO TO WORK for her too when/if one of these places HIRE her??? Where does this type of "parenting" (non-parenting) end?? Where does the line get drawn? When will he EVER stop holding her hand through LIFE??? He's literally sitting there torturing himself with online job apps FOR HER while she sits on the couch TOTALLY IGNORING him, not a care in the world!! He ALWAYS does everything FOR her and never makes her do ANYTHING HERSELF!!!
I edited my original blog - sorry if I didn't explain what I was frustrated about.
No, I understood... its what
No, I understood... its what my mother does in a way, you know she filled out my college apps and wrote "personal" essays, writes my siblings papers and does their home work and they totally ignore her too. Kinda the same lol maybe not.
Oh ok, I thought I was coming
Oh ok, I thought I was coming across with the wrong point - not the point that I am disgusted with. I don't get it - why these people (your mom, my BF) "parent" this way.
I just want to scream YOU ARE NOT HELPING THEM, YOU ARE HURTING THEM!! You are not teaching them how to complete BASIC LIFE SKILLS!!! You are not giving them the tools to succeed in life!!!
Oh, and by the way, SD16 doesn't have that much respect for my BF either - just comes and goes as she pleases, without ASKING for permission, but just TELLING my BF (her Dad) that she's going out. She's just the LAZIEST person I've ever met - and you know what else I just thought of?? She's turning out JUST.LIKE.HER.LAZY.ASS.UNDEREMPLOYED.LEECHING.MOTHER.
Its ok I think I just didnt
Its ok I think I just didnt really say it very well lol... my fault. But ya, I know exactly where you are coming from. My mom thinks she is mother of the year and has total disdain for all parents (including dh and myself) who dont do EVERYTHING for their kids and use any kind of tough love...I dont know why they cant see how damaging it is, either... my sibs are totally helpless cause everything is done for them.. and so was i until i got out of the house and had to do things on my own around 16.
Naturalmom, exactly! I just
Naturalmom, exactly! I just said that in reply to another post on here - where does it stop?
On SD16's wedding night, will my BF be on her honeymoon with her putting the condom on her new husband before they have sex??? OK, that's really, really disgusting. Sorry - this whole thing just stinks to high hell and I'm at my wits end.
What do I do?? I need help - I have no idea how to address this with my BF.
Snarky, lol, glad I gave you
Snarky, lol, glad I gave you a cheshire cat grin with my last comment. I know it really was gross what I said, but I'm really getting to the breaking point with all this madness that is so "normal" for my BF in how he "parents" SD16.
The sad part is, this is the REALITY that is my life - I can just picture myself having to deal with teenage pregnancy, all sorts of crap with SD16 before she even graduates high school.
I wish someone could help me figure out what to do from here....
Tiredprincess, YES!! You hit
Tiredprincess, YES!! You hit the nail right on the head with that! "It is like they want to do it FOR them, like they don't want them to have to do something too difficult".
YES, YES, YES!! (Milomom jumping up & down with excitement that someone out there GETS what she's trying to explain)!!
WHY in God's name does my BF consider filling out his kid's job apps. (at 16 years old!!) something that is NORMAL????
Stepdown, yes! Thank you -
Stepdown, yes! Thank you - you get what I'm venting about. This type of "parenting" (actually non-parenting) really makes my blood boil when my BF does this. What's next? Going to work WITH her and doing her work FOR her while she sits there painting her nails????
DPW, I know - it's just
DPW, I know - it's just ridiculous, pathetic, disgusting - all of those words.
I kid you not, it took all the strength I had that day to force myself NOT to run to the bathroom to VOMIT when I realized what he was doing. Just pathetic.
Help me, please help me. How do I deal with this?? I'm ignoring it (haven't brought it up to him at all), but I swear a part of me lost all attraction to my BF in that moment of time. I don't know what to do.
DPW, as always, you are right
DPW, as always, you are right - of course nothing good will come from me bringing this up to him...unless you consider one of those "why do you always have to be nasty and bring up something negative about my kiids alll the tiiime?" fights something good (like I'm Debbie Downer about his kids - always critical when I'm nothing but NICE to them and about them the majority of the time).
Knowing my BF as well as I do, he probably thinks there's absolutely nothing wrong with it at all - "she's my daauuughter and I'm just trying to heeelllp her". Then he'll make a nasty comment like "I'll take care of it - you don't worry about it".
LOL!
LOL!
Tiredprincess, absolutely you
Tiredprincess, absolutely you are 100% spot on with your reply.
Except it's not only sad, it's really, really pathetic.
I would DEFINITELY have dealt with it EXACTLY the way you said...but with these blended families and "porcelain doll" skids, you have to watch EVERYTHING you say, otherwise you will be seen as the Wicked Witch of the West and the Most Evil SM known to man.
Honestly, if this were my OWN BIOKID, I would not "hold back" on this - I would call it for exactly what it is - LAZINESS and PATHETIC ATTITUDE. I would not stand for it.
I really wish someone could help me with how I should address this with my BF. It's not a matter of IF I will address it, it's a matter of HOW and WHEN - I just cannot let this one be "brushed under the rug" like all the rest of SD16's antics.