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DH lost his job

misguided's picture

Submitted by misguided on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 11:46am

My DH lost his job on Friday and still has not told his ex. I am really upset and hurt. It's like he doesn't want to stress her out but has not problem stressing me out. I am the one who is going to have to pick the mortgage (which he currently pays). I will not pay child support and he knows that so why he is waiting is beyond me. He finally went down to unemployment today and is going to court to modify his child support based on what his unemployment check will be. I feel like telling her myself but I know that would be wrong and possibly cause more problems but this is BS. Do any of you have any experience with the courts when the NCP has lost their job? Did they modify support and if so was it based on unemployment or something else? Also did the NCP have to pay the shortfall back once he got a job? So many questions!!lol. Thanks for any insight you may have.

Comments

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 12:06pm

I am so sorry to hear about your DH losing his job. I understand the stress and panic you must be feeling right now.

Any modification of CS will depend on your stat'es guidelines. Some states consider unemployment a temporary situation and will not modify, where some states will do a downward modification. Call your local CS enforcement or your county DHR and ask.

As for your DH telling BM about his job loss, that depends on your relationship. When my DH lost his job a few years ago, we did not tell her, she was notified by the courts. If he is trying to spare her feelings, you guys may need to have a serious heart-to-heart about why he feels the need to coddle her.

skylarksms's picture

Submitted by skylarksms on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 12:13pm

In our state, CSE would take less CS from the unemployment but he would still owe the arrears.

If he wanted to get it modified withOUT the arrears, he would have to go to court. There it's a crap shoot.

txcajunmom's picture

Submitted by txcajunmom on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 12:14pm

i am sorry to hear that. i really know what you are going through and maybe if bm is anything like the one i have to deal with, he probably just doesnt want to hear her mouth...idk hope things get better for you soon!

LizGrace65's picture

Submitted by LizGrace65 on Wed, 09/29/2010 - 12:54pm

In NY, a prior relationship I had, XSO lost his job and NY sent the *entire* unemployment checks to his XW. They left him with no income at all. Which left me supporting him. And giving him money to eat and feed his kids when they visited him. To top it off, the court ordered that I couldn't be around the kids more than a certain number of hours per EOW visit, so I had to leave my apartment and stay elsewhere when they came over. That was after a court evaluation of me, XSO, and XW found both of them needed alcohol counseling and/or psych help, and I was fine.

NY is a nightmare. And that man is one of the only people on this earth that I actually despise.

Thank goodness my current SO totally knows how to handle his business.

L