SO pissed me off. Graduation drama.
So I'll start with we don't even know what graduation is going be like for SS17. They haven't specified amount of tickets just where and when. My guess is going to be 4 MAX. Ya know.. COVID and all. For all we know it will be 2.
So we were hiking today and I brought it up.. Asked him whether he got an email about tickets and such. He says no only date and time. So I say.. do I have to go? He instantly got moody and says... "I'm not going to make you do something you don't want too and you don't care what people think of you.." ( I f'n don't care but, that's besides the point) At this point my eyes are rolling.
I said to him well..this isn't about "what people think about me." This is about SS17 considering it is HIS graduation and since him and I don't have a relationship I thought it would be better if you used YOUR tickets on say SD or your dad. People who actually want to be there and could support him in this.. I said and who would even care if I/wasn't there?!!? This guys response: my family. UMMMM excuse me??! I said really?? Do they know what goes on in our house to full detail? Because they know what I do for them, the hate BM etc so why would "I look bad" for not going... he was using this as an excuse.
I also said that would be better (I felt) because YOU (meaning SO) can't handle being in the same vacitinty as BM and myself (he gets all anxiety stricken) so it would make the whole experience better for everyone involved if I didn't go.
Now, he admitted that he needs to work on the whole being in the same room as BM and me with the whole getting anxiety. I said she doesn't scare or intimidate me in any way and I've been around her more times then you sooo... He goes well in the same area but not "near" her... UM ONCE AGAIN MORE THEN YOU! aka all SDs basketballs BM attended that SO couldn't because of work and SS16 confirmation in 2019 I said was fine I was within in feet. I said YOU have the problem there NOT me. Go talk to a therapist about that. I was really pissed at this point.
It ended with we will see what school even does and how many tickets.
Is it me? Or is my point valid? What would you guys do? Should I go to support SO? I really didn't want to go for said reasons.
SO still has "rose colored" glasses when it comes to SS17 to a degree.
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Well, I would wait to see how
Well, I would wait to see how many tickets there are, it might just be logical for you not to go if there aren't enough - personally, I agree with you. Siblings, grandparents, etc should have first dibs on graduation tickets over stepparents (especially disengaged ones).
Funny, we have stepparents on this board who are upset they are excluded from graduation, and ones who don't want to be included, lol. I did go with DH to SS's graduation, but it was just the two of us, as there is no family here (and SS didn't go to the ceremony anyway).
Right. We don't even know if
Right. We don't even know if more then 2 people will be able to attend. I said that too and his response was "there are a lot of divorced families so it will probably be 4." I said back that no one cares about divorced families.
Yeah the whole graduation thing is interesting one here with the divide. If it were the other two I would be kind of sad if I couldn't go. At this point in time haha.
Graduations are boring
I'd skip just because they are boring, leaving aside all the other issues.
We don't do high school graduations in this country and I only had MSS graduate from University. I didn't attend. DH went with OSS. I think BM and her latest BF went too. However, I did go to MSS graduation art show and bought a couple of pieces of his work but I did not want to sit through the ceremony.
(I didn't even go to the ceremony for my own masters back in the day. Though I did suffer through DH's MBA ceremony and I'll probably go to his latest masters grad. But that will be the it unless he does a phd)
Shame
I don't think the issue is graduation really - I think your SO has some shame and embarrasment around his 'broken' family to his parents, siblings.
If there are only 2 tickets then problem solved - if there is space I would go just to support SO. Its only a couple of hours and it seems like it would make him feel better.
Sometimes these types of 'fake' showings are necessary for extended family - to not rock the boat. I would also make sure SO knew it was for him and not for SS - and SO should get you some flowers or something nice the next day to say thank you for going with me.
But if you really don't want to go then he should respect your decision as well.
These types of decisions are always challenging when disengaged, IMO.
He is close with his brothers
He is close with his brothers (he's the youngest of 4) and between them there are 12 kids. Each family (between SO and his brothers) has their own issues with one of their kids. I don't think he is embarrassed about his failed marriage but, more the social look of it. Which to me, it doesn't matter because who is really going to care if I'm there or not.. no one.. only him.
I think it is more about him wanting me to be his support wing with BM. Which I get so we will see how it pans out.
I see
Either way, if a ticket was available I would go to support him - but make it clear to hiim that's why. And there should be a nice bouquet of roses delivered to you the next day as a proper thank you from him
But like I said - if you really don't want to go than just say no and he'll have to put his big boy pants on and deal with BM on his own!