I'm a Hot Mess!!
I am back again to take the beating I know you will all give me...but this is the only place I have to vent. So to recap, my boyfriends son is 9 almost 10 and loves to make my life hell. My BF works on the road and is home 3 days a week. I have this child, I do everything for him- cooking, clothes washing, homework, birthday parties, treats at school, gifts, disciplining. In my very 1st blog I was practically eaten alive, I know they were all right, but I don't know what to do and how to do it. I was told I should not have to watch this kid 24/7 and I just need to get out of the picture and let his dad do it or let his BM have him. If I don't do it no one else will. If I back out of the picture then where does he go? On another note, this child hates me, I am the bad guy because I am the one who makes him follow rules and sets boundries for him because, without me there wouldn't be any. I picked him up from his BM last Sunday and he has been pushing my buttons every since. It is like this every time he comes home for about 4 days then he is fine until he goes back to her place then it is the same old pattern again. I try to talk to my BF about it, because I am the one to suffer, but he yells at me and says I hate his son and all I do is complain about him and he doesn't want to come home from the road and have to deal with this all of time. What do I do?? I am a nurse and I can tell the stress is going to get to me more than I can handle!!! :jawdrop:
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You are a nurse and you don't
You are a nurse and you don't have your own kids - there is no need to put up with this . When his father is not home , Ss needs to stay with his mother . No discussion .
if your BF and the BM do not agree , you must end this relationship and leave for greener pastures .
I know this will probably
I know this will probably come out wrong and I really can't think of any good way to say it so here goes....
Most of us would LOVE to be in your position. Not because we want an emotionally abusive BF or a horrible SS.
But because we would be able to walk away without all the strings, ties, and complications.
Fact is...You are in a better situation than most of us. You can get out with little to no drama.
All you have to do is pack your things and leave. There will be no dealing with BM or XH, No sharing of children and having to have constant contact with
the father for 18 years. Nothing. You are free to go. At any time you choose.
I agree with other when I say you really need to get professional help for your self esteem and other issues that cause you to feel you most
stay in that relationship. Your BF has it golden. He can pawn his kid off on you and come and go as he pleases.
Next time he was on the road I would drop SS off to BM, Pack his things and take them to his parents home or a storage unit.
There is NO reason you need to put up with any of this ever.
Time to re-think this
Time to re-think this relationship.
Ok, I can relate to the
Ok, I can relate to the dynamics. DH travels for work A LOT, and SS is home with me, currently full time. I have been this child's "mother" since he was 1. BM has been in the picture with 50/50 custody until recently (about 2 months ago) we now have him full time. The responsibility of raising this child, is on me.
The difference is, I am not FORCED to do it. I choose to. SS is respectful of me, he loves me. I absolutely WOULD NOT do it for a child that didn't respect me, or a husband that didn't raise his child to respect me. In your case, I would say, SS either needs to be with his mom when your SO is gone, or you need to leave the relationship.
"If I don't do it no one else
"If I don't do it no one else will. If I back out of the picture then where does he go?"
If you were not in the picture, SO and BM would have to figure it out. It is not like he is going to be on the street if you don't watch him.
Tell SO you will no longer be watching his child while he is gone. Then, don't pick him up from BM. If she tries to drop him off, don't answer the door.
If this ends the relationship, then you will have a pretty good idea of why SO wanted you around in the first place.
If you weren't there as his
If you weren't there as his free baby sitter who would watch his kid while he was gone?
Whatever your answer is to this question is who should be watching the skid while your SO is away.