This twin is an entitled, spoiled, lazy little so-and-so. A couple of weeks ago, the night after the birthday dinner luxury fiasco, he heard some things he didn't like and immediately got on his phone and began texting BM. I told him to stop, then I brought them out to make dinner with me. But he got on phone after that. Guess what? All messages from that night and the week that followed have been deleted and BM has changed her iCloud password.

I can't get too caught up in the nature of the stuff he most likely said to her. What's that saying, "It's none of your business what other people think about you"? But those phones are not going to be used in this house for manipulative games or smack-talking us to her. That is divisive and that's probably why she bought the phones.

DH is beyond addressing this with her (absolutely no point. She is a narcissist and it would go round and round and get nowhere). BUT tonight something became clear to me. In all this, all these years, one thing we've never tried is *DH* laying out the rules of the house, making certain that they know that these items are non-negotiable, and that he expects them to fully comply, the way the other kids in the house do. Especially since they are all into technology and their devices now (DS 11 got a phone for middle school because there is a chunk of time each day that he is home alone. BM followed suit even tho twins are only in 5th grade). DH goes around gnashing his teeth about how much he hates them being on these things. I told him tonight "Have them turn them off two hours before bedtime, when the brain can recover from the blue light before sleep". It's like the man enjoys thinking that he's up against something he can't control. He doesn't have the energy for this fight. He is the FATHER and it is his JOB. (I said all this to him- he is not very happy with me right now but it needed to be said.)

I have always been the disciplinarian, and of course they're rebelling. But if DH wants this fixed, he needs to be the one to do it. I am beyond disgusted.