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Being Taken To Court

mndblwn's picture

Submitted by mndblwn on Mon, 09/03/2012 - 9:59pm

BM has written a motion to change transportation for visitation. we live 4 hrs away and because she wanted 3 weekends a month she agreed to do the driving. she doesn't like it now that she has to pay the bill herself. it was all ok last year when she had a boyfriend to pay for gas. She is asking the DH drive halfway for dropoff and pickup 3 weekends a month. she is also asking for skid to fly on airplane and split the plane ticket 3 weekends a month THEN she wants us to pay for her attorney because we supposedly are so mean and not giving in to her or compromising.

we have followed the court order perfectly. phone calls are made and exchange times are made on time. we include her in activities for skid and inform her of changes at school. for this we get the police called on us if we dont do what she wants and harassed for not driving to where she wants. we have to exchange skid on the side of the road in dark rain or snow. the best interest of skid is always her excuse. she hit and killed a man a year ago then an elk last month. she wont drive where she hit the elk now and uses that as an excuse. basically she wants us to do anything that she feels she isnt capable of doing. she wants us to pay extra for her not having a good job and yet get all the visitation with skid. she lives with her mom now and has little bills.

we just had a baby and have a household to support. we pay for school lunchs and clothes, activities, medical bill/insurance and travel to doctor appointments. she wont go to any doctor appointment for skids heart and makes us make the appointment only during our time. she wont allow skid to go during her time. we follow the court order that was agreed upon and yet we are still getting fired at by her. skid comes home from her house with a major attitude and back talk.

i have high anxiety over all of this. i dont want to be stuck to three weekends a month driving 4 hours a weekend, paying for a plane ticket three weekends a month and if it snows then not get paid back for no flight and then having to pay two attorneys for doing wrong.

Comments

StickAFork's picture

Submitted by StickAFork on Mon, 09/03/2012 - 11:40pm

I read that as BM already has visitation 3 times a month.

OP, I think it's very possible you'll wind up splitting the transportation. That's pretty common. Sorry, but you may want to prepare yourself.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 09/04/2012 - 12:58am

Time to take HER ass to court instead of being her victim. As other's have said, if she lives a significant distance from your home and your DH is the CP then the visitation schedule will likely shift to a long distance visitation schedule.

In our case the transition from standard visitation to long distance iwas 200 miles. Your state may have a different criteria but it is something you need to determine. Since we have never lived closer to SpermLand than 1200 miles the visitation was always on the long distance shcedule. Again in our case the schedule was ~8 weeks per year of visitation for the SpermIdiot. 5Wks summer, 10 days fall in our location of residence, 1Wk winter and 1Wk spring break. The SpermIdiot nor the SpermClan ever took the fall visitation where we lived sor for all practical purposes their visitation was only 7wks per year. We never liked having to put our kid on a plane to SpermLand but over time we did learn to enjoy the couple time without the kid.

Our CO required that travel costs be split with each party paying to get the kid to their location. It is my understanding that this fairly common in every state though each case can be different. This was a great tool for us since we could use this to beat them with if they were being stupid. If they were being stupid we just refused to split the cost of a round trip ticket with them which forced them to buy a one way and jacked their travel costs up. It jacked ours up too but a couple hundred more dollars in travel costs for a visitation every once in a while was a much bigger deal for them than it was for us.

So, I would suggest that rather than waiting around for her to threaten you or try to drag you to court that you and your DH get very diligent about staying on the offensive with the BM. If she is being reasonable then be reasonable, is she is not being reasonable then do not hesitate to beat the snot out of her in court.

Good luck.