when your husbands ex true colors show
I was sitting at home and got a mass text from my step sons school. It was to inform us about what was going on for their pumpkin carving day of fun. My husband uses my number because I always answer my phone and he never does. His ex saw that I was included in this mass message and wanted to know why she was not included...... (I have to stop myself here and try not to pee myself from laughing to hard...) how did she get the mass message and see that I was included, if she wasn't part of the message... ( this is the part where I hear crickets because I am speechless for once.) Then she responds to the whole group, asking why I am part of it when "I am not his mom" That "she is his mom". The teachers reply is that its for communication purposes. I know that I am not his bio mom and I get that. I have been in his life for over 8 years, since he was 9 months old. Both my step sons call me mom. I never asked them too and she stated time and time again she was okay with it, but she yells at them for doing so but thinks its okay for her to make the kids call her fiancé dad when they don't want to. We make sure to never talk about these issues when the kids are home and make sure that we always talk when its just my husband and I. The kids have been through so many ups and downs in their house, that they are always so excited when they come over that they can just be kids without anxiety. I mean we still have rules and structure but they aren't afraid to be kids. their is much more to this story, but that's not where I am going with this. the point is she gets upset they are all excited to come over here and don't want to go back home. I always tell the boys before she leaves to make sure to give their mom hugs and kisses and tell her they love her because that's still their mom. I just wish I could make it so they didn't have so much on their plates as young children. When the world will throw so much crap at them in life. Most kids when younger get to be kids and I just want that for them. okay so this started out as one thing and just went on and on. I just needed the outlet. thanks for listening or just giving me a place to let it all out.
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Complaining over a mass text
Complaining over a mass text sent from the school really helps make her look like mom of the year and not psycho at all.
SO's youngest has called me mom a few times. Same with you I never even asked. Last time was the first time he didn't instantly correct himself and it was actually "mommy" while he took my hand. His sister didn't say anything either. When he's caught himself I've always just said "It's ok." He can decide what that means.
BM tries to force so much. I've gotten adorable candied shots of SO and the kids. Within a month she's putting up a picture that looks the exact same with her new guy just taking about what an amazing day they had "as a family". The guys gone less the a week later as is the picture since it's the kids and some random guy.
I've found the best you can do is just protect them in your home. Create a safe space and let them be kids in it. We can't control BM's household and they sure as hell don't care what we have to say as a parental figure for their child.
BM demands so much if the oldest and babies the youngest but try to tell her the kid can put on his seatbelt and it's like starting world war 3. Let her continue to show her colors. She comes off as controlling and desperate. The teacher sees it which only helps them understand what's going on at home and save it. If there's every any need to go to court that is amazing evidence to share.
I have been trying to save
I have been trying to save all that I can. Its crazy about the picture on the wall scenario because she has done this as well. she always has to have someone in her life. the kids have been made to call over 8 people in the past 8 years daddy and that's not even including their actual dad. its sad. They have had so many issues and all I want to do is hug the kids even more for having to go through it all. The kids have been mentally and physically abused and nothing has been done by social services. she calls their ssi check her paycheck. not to mention we have 50/50 and my husband still pays 1000 almost a month is child support and I am still sending clothes shoes and anything else because she uses all their money for her. even thought her house and food and utilizes are free all she has is a cell phone and car insurance. they never had car insurance before. it was part of the divorce agreement. So we are looking into going to court for that also. she had gotten bed bugs a year ago and wouldt treat it. we have an account with terminex because where we live in the country its crazy with bugs. we always have the house checked because of the issue and when the kids get here we make them change and throw clothes straight into the washer. we have actually been doing this for years because she used to get fleas bad too. the youngest is allergic to any type of bug bites and gets welts the size of quarters or bigger no imagine 100 bites on his back alone and social services did nothing. she finally got her house treated when the threat of the kids money being taken away with the kids. once she found out if the kids were gone that she would lose the money too she sure called every church to pay for it to get done even though she had the money to do so herself. we are constantly keeping journals and recorded phone calls. her daughter was taken away for being sexually abused. because she would bring random people into her house at all times. her daughter she lost before her and my husband were even together. shes been taking the boys money and trying to pay a lawyer to try and see her daughter 15 years later. the courts keep denying her because they say why now. she said I now have my kids money to pay for the layer...... and you can imagine the judges response.
It is just pure jealousy. It
It is just pure jealousy. It reminds them that you are in their children's lives and the children actually really really like you. It highlights how she is not providing the same stable, loving home as men are going in and out like a revolving door. It highlights that her ex has moved on...and with someone that is good.
She just made herself look like an absolute jealous moron in front of everyone in that mass text. Don't pay any attention to her and just keep on doing what you do. The BM2 I deal with hates me for the same reasons. My DH has moved on from her (gasp! that was NEVER allowed to happen!) and SS15 really likes me and tells her as much. She hates it because it just shows how much she's no longer relevant in DH's life, despite having that all important child together...that she has nothing to do with...
I am so glad that I joined
I am so glad that I joined this site. It seems to help me so much more to be able to know that I am not the only one who goes through this. she had tried numerous times to get back with DH. she has tried to tell me to beware of him cheating. Which is weird because she was the one who cheated on him and she has said such. my husband and I have a very open relationship. we are best friends. I know who and how many people he has slept with and same here. she does get jealous of how close I am with him and how close I am with the kids. she tries to control what they can do at our house. she tried to get the kids to download an app to talk to her which is fine but she was tell them to leave it on so she could hear what we say in the house. that's fine she can record or snoop all she wants but will get nothing on us. its just wrong. the youngest one keeps wetting the bed at her house and she grounds him. they threaten him not to flush the toilet if he does go so he doesn't wake the baby she just had. he gets yelled at if he pees on the floor on accident. no wonder he wets the bed at his house hes afraid to go to the bathroom. they used to lock the kids in the room till we sent social services over their and they made them take the locks off. if she grounds them for stuff they did at her house. if its truly something justifiable I will judge her grounding with my husband and re-access the situation. she grounds him for a week for picking his nose ( while she does it also....) he picks his nose here and I tell him to stop and go wash his hands. he hates to have to wash his hands so he usually gives up on the nose.
BM doesn't get any
BM doesn't get any communication from the school. But she did pull something last year that was actually funny. SD11's teacher posted something on the school social media page. It was a picture of SD11 at a school activity. She tagged me and DH, since we were both well known around the school. SD11 told BM that she had won a prize at this event so BM looked up the school and found the picture and tagged herself in it. Then she commented on the picture, saying something about being a proud mom.
One of the other moms commented, "oh I don't know you, which one of the girls are you the mom of?" The teacher responded that BM must be mistaken because she tagged all the parents. Then she untagged her from the photo. BM was so angry that she sent the teacher a long letter, with DH CC'd on it.
The teacher never responded but she did apologize to DH. She had no idea who BM was because she isn't authorized to pick up SD11 from school and is not listed as a contact.
Lol your SK's BM totally
Lol your SK's BM totally herself look like an ass. Awesome.
absolutely. I knew one day
absolutely. I knew one day people would see her for who she was. the school got a glimpse of her lies when she tried to tell the school we were dead beats and were alcoholics and that we partied all the time. I work 60 to 80 hours a week. I maybe have 3 to 5 alcoholic beverages a year if that and that's if we attend a wedding or something for a toast. same thing with my husband. we have alcohol that was given as a gift to us at our wedding over 2 to 3 years ago and it has yet to be opening. its just crown royal and vodka but that point is if we were alcoholics it would have been gone. she accused us of drugs which we don't do either and we said okay lets all take a drug test. imagine that my husband and I passed and they failed. she has been caught in so many lies.
she wanted to insert herself
she wanted to insert herself into her kids life and take credit for the goodness even though I am sure its all the hard work that the two of you do with the sd11 and not the BM. got to love that. I was teaching the kids Spanish because they wanted to learn. so I taught them what I know from when I was in highschool many moons ago and then grabbed a book and started teaching them and myself more. she then proceeded to tell me that she taught the kids how to say hello in Spanish. I told her they already knew it from us and our lessons. and she said no they don't and I said put them on the phone. I then proceeded to have a very minimal conversation with them asking how they were and what time are they getting ready for bed in Spanish. I think her jaw hit the floor but she still thinks till this day it was her. I give you credit for having to go through that. does the BM see SD frequently?