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SS and BM Behavior becoming harmful to our health

MommaOf4's picture

:jawdrop:
Sooo. we just had a 3 day visit from SS age 12. My husband and I have 2 of our own children and another on the way. SS has his own room in the basement of our home. This morning I wake up and there is an unopened container of juice in the fridge that my 2 year old is asking me for. I have not seen this juice, nor did I buy it, so I assumed my husband had stopped before going to work and brought it home for when we woke up. So I poured her some juice. She took a huge gulp of it and gave it back. Upon taking a closer look at the juice, I realize that it is totally clumpy and discolored. Check the date, it expired 2 months ago. So I ask SS, where did this juice come from?? He says his mom sent it from the food pantry at their church, because it was expired. Ya know, if its not good enough for her family to drink, why the hell would she send it to my family??? Not only that, but it had sat in his room in the basement for 2 days before he decided to put it in the fridge, and I just gave it to my 2 year old baby. So I told him very angrily that it was EXPIRED and why would he bring it here. He says, it was supposed to be a JOKE. And I said, its a joke to make your sister sick?? And he says No, it wasnt supposed to be for her, it was supposed to be for you. LOVELY. So the woman is teaching him that it is FUNNY to bring an unsuspecting 6 month pregnant woman disgusting fermented juice??? I could not be more angry, angry that my 2 children and even my 3rd unborn baby were put at risk for something that she thought would be a joke, when in fact it was just her own way of sending a cruel gesture my way. What if one of us had gotten sick??? I wish I could call the cops on her. I cannot stand this woman, I want to confront her, but my husband doesnt want any drama, so I have to pretend that it was nothing.

Comments

Pantera's picture

WHAT THE F???!!! Your DH needs to say SOMETHING. That behavior WILL continue if nothing is done. TRUST ME. That is horrible and you are totally right to feel this way.

MommaOf4's picture

He wont say anything, this is an ongoing 10 year long problem with her going out of her way to make me uncomfortable or miserable in any way she can because I ruined her "happy home" ten years ago (they were still married but in divorce process when i came along). Hes afraid of her and her tantrums and outbursts and threats, so will continue to say nothing as hes always done. I cant see putting up with this for another 7 years. (Assuming it will end when SS is 18???)

Pantera's picture

10 years? And you think it will end? It will end when DH stops it. No, you can't control BM, but you can't let her get away with these things either. DH needs to stand up for his wife and unborn child at this point. That was an attack directly on YOU, your stepson even admitted it.

MommaOf4's picture

I had to stay in the house when she picked him up (3 hours late) to avoid going out there and attacking her physically because I was so mad that I gave my child that juice.

zenjetset's picture

Oh hell no!!!! dh needs to put that bm in her place or you do it. Drama has already started with this stupid "joke"!!!

MommaOf4's picture

He is not taking it very seriously. Earlier, we talked on the phone about it because he was working and he was fighting with me about 'what do I want him to do"?? Apparently he feels that there is nothing he CAN do... hes home now, and he wont speak to me. Apparently I need to let the little things roll off my shoulders a little better according to him. Hopefully she doesnt put antifreeze in my juice next time... He fights me on everything and keeps his peace with her. Hes going to have two ex wives if hes not careful...

Pantera's picture

I love that "let the little things roll off your shoulder", lol. My DH used to get pissed when SS didn't pick his clothes up off the bathroom floor, but when SS spit a lugey in my brush, that wasn't so horrible. They don't seem to get it until it happens to THEM. Next time, hand him the juice to drink and then see how he feels.

I also had a problem with DH keeping the peace with BM. He treated her better than me most of the time. I hated that crap.

Most Evil's picture

OMG I don't know how you didn't smack the crap out of him-! He needs a spanking or some serious punishment.

You should call BM and say, if you ever do this again I am calling the cops on you - or just do it-! That is just sick . . . .

ownpersonalopinion1's picture

You can play the game too.....dont' complain or create drama..Just pack up that old food, orange juice, etc. and send it right back to her when the ss goes home. It would be even better if you could take the ss home and deliver that nasty stuff yourself and tell just as nice as you can that you really appreciate the thought but you really didn't need the food and thought she might need it more than your family, therefore you are returning it and will continue to return anything else she sends. Thank her and walk off. Don't even get into with her and DON'T let her know your are mad because that is exactly what she is trying to do.

MommaOf4's picture

So, my H and I "talked" last night, if thats what you want to call it. It was mostly him telling me that nothing would change and me crying. What sent me over the edge was his statement in reference to confronting her about her constant interference and drama..." Whatever road is easiest for me, is going to be the road that I take". Whaaaa????? I have been with this man for ten years, I dropped out of high school and missed my senior prom to raise his child while he and BM both had full time jobs!!! Not to mention the years of other sacrifices Ive made for them. NEVER in ten years have I even considered taking the "easy road". Had I taken the easy road, we wouldnt be together today!!! I was so hurt that this was how he chose to deal with it. I dont know what Im going to do. Then he closed the conversation by saying that "Maybe we should just move far away and not let SS even come over at all anymore, then we wont have to fight about this". Sooo... thats your solution?? Abandon the child to HER rather than just confront her and tell her to knock it off??? But he says confronting her will only give her the satisfaction of knowing that her evil plans are in fact bothering us. And his idea of moving away and not seeing SS is just him trying to manipulate guilt out of me, because he knows I would never do that to SS, no matter how much of a brat he is. Aaaargh... Day 2... and Ive gotten nowhere with this crap.