hey guys, I have been in here before, but been a while since I have.

I was once listed as somerg and this one.

I have experienced hell on earth and now am happily remarried.

I didn't look at member names and not sure who is in here and who is not so I will do my best to give a quick run down of my experiences (including smom problems). I've had a lot of insite and HOPE it might help you guys in here.

to give a quick run down without being too long. i'll tell you my story from bm and smom side

from bm side. my x and I separated when dd was 3 months old (we were screaming and shouting wars in front of her, I didn't care for that. and he brought his hand back to hit me with her in my arms (but he didn't).

well fast forward a few years, he and xsmom got married (i'll admit, I HATED her with a passion). we had fights, like crazy. I mainly couldn't stand her because I personally witnessed things that were CLEARLY inappropriate in front of my dd....but not enough for a court appearance. I can give details if you want. well, after about 5 years of the merry go round dd submitted yet another of millions of complaints. I finally decided I had had enough-nothing I would say to xh would change things. so I asked dd have YOU tried talking to your dad? when she answered "no" I told her my hands were tied (they were) and that until SHE talks to her dad...there was nothing I could do. well, that ended the drama merry go round with a screeching halt. fast forward to present. right before Christmas, xh called to tell me he and smom were getting a divorce :jawdrop: of course I had ZERO complaints, but I honestly thought things were getting better. according to xh, it was all for show-they had not. so they do and dd (surprisingly) said she expected it and was glad because smom never showed interest in dd's life (she didn't). so fast forward to now. xh is fixing to propose. I have met his gf, and she seems quite pleasant. we have a mutual agreement to keep the distance. and so far so good. and amazingly enough xsmom recently contacted me on facebook. she wants to see dd again. of course I told her my thoughts (respectfully) but I also asked dd if she was interested (which she isn't) and told smom this (in addition asked xh if he was ok with her going through me to see dd (he wasn't) so right now, it's not happening.

smom side. I married my xh, (many of you might know my story) well long story short (the last time I was active on here) his 24dd moved in with us and her son. well, shortly after she revealed she was pregnant...it went to shit from there.

well onto my story, after I became a smom myself, I started realizing just how bad being a smom sucks like hell. my xh didn't give a damn about what my wishes or anything I wanted or what I thought discipline should be. in fact while sd24 was living with us. I was trying to get house rules he and I agreed on (I agreed on). well, longer story short (I was the only one working of the 3 adults, supporting myself, xh, dd sd, gson and one on the way....I was 28 HE was 50. I was NOT ok with this (supporting everyone and what I wanted to not be enforced). so I decided I was done but didn't feel "right" leaving gson with no way to be supported. so I told xh he needed to tell sd to get out within 30 days or *I* would take her ass to a womens shelter (she also was being too picky on jobs, turned MANY down because "she couldnt' deal with people"). so he did, and we made a trip from Oklahoma to Georgia in one weekend.

then I revealed to xh that I was not ok supporting his ass anymore. it went to hell from there. like I was afraid for my life. one night, when I came home from school, he was asleep in the garden tub. I told him that's a good way to kill himself. well the next night he said "maybe it would've been better had I drowned" I told him, well, if you're going to commit suicide, make sure the kids dont' find you, and don't make a mess, cause I aint cleaning it. the next day. he decides i'm "hiding cigarettes" and throws a FIT. (I wasn't hiding them, I was leaving them at work) he was smoking me broke, like there was a never ending supplies. i'd buy so many for me, and so many for him-his were gone within too short of time, and he'd start smoking mine-if I DIDN'T smoke, I didn't get any.

so longer story short, I had to get a vpo against him. he was spying on my family while my grandpa was dying, so I moved out away from my family after he broke into my mom's house (nothing was taken) but we know it was him. so I move out and in with my (now) dh. this was because I KNOW he'd have no idea where I was. I felt in danger and wanted to remove my family from the ecquasion.

so to the now. dh and I eloped. I'm now cp smom and bm. there are 2 bm's in my stich, neither really active in skids lives. but with everything I've gone through, I keep a "safe" distance from them both. bm1 never had custody of sd and longer story short, she has no rights to ANY of her kids right now. bm2, is definetly a horse of a different color. she volunteered up cp and is hoping to get her life back in order before ss starts school. but she has no job, 4 kids by 4 dads (dh is legal father of her oldest, bio of her second and only dad involved). she has warrents for her arrest and couch jumps like crazy.

so that's my story, please don't bash, i'm (sincerely)back to see if I can give constructive advice.

so feel free to ask