You are here

Everyday a new irritant from SS

MoominMama's picture

Just want to say before i start that this is mostly a vent. I don't need any advice about it as i cant be stopped and it is just him. I am counting down the days until we get rid of him (if that ever actually happens) and I am aware that this is probably part of his AS symptoms. It still drives me mad though. Just because he is on the very light end of AS does not mean i have to ignore his weird attitudes and over the top sensory issues. I don't feel I have to play into them as i have long felt that it is just his way of getting things on his terms all the time.

So, PILLOWGATE.   As I said we bought new pillows for the beds. SS always has rather strong smelling greasy hair ( I am onto this but it's proving hard to change) and he dribbles at night all over the pillow and they tend to get very stained. Actually I should mention that he has a weird habit of cutting the satin feel labels out of clothes and then sucks and fondles them at night . I'm sure this causes a lot of dribbling. Again, like a little kid. He has had a doctors check up and there is nothing wrong with him with regard to hair and dribbling.

These pillows are good quality memory foam pillows. Not cheap. I didn't want it stained and ruined  so I put a special protector cover on it. Well, I gave it to SS to put on it.  I go in there this morning and he has taken the pillow cover and it is screwed up under his pillow. !! ?????  I suspect there was something he will find about the pillow cover to whinge about.

Someone said to me on my last blog about the bed time that I am lucky because he is 18 and it won't be long soon. I wish I could feel like that. Him getting older and his going getting closer makes me even more desperate for it to hurry up. Makes me even more sick of his sh** because at 18 he should have learned to get on with things. He still acts like a babyish 6 year old a lot of the time with his 'poor little me' attitude.

So now I have to have another battle to get the new pillow protected? DH is naturally getting a bit sick of all this too. He is a very laid back sort of person. I don't think this helped along with BM who never parented at all and produced kids who don't know how to wash properly and think that it's normal not to use antiperspirant or deodorant or even actually wash yourself with soap etc. They just got in the bath, played and got out, I don't think anyone actually taught them to wash then play a bit after. Trying to tackle older kids with smelly bodies is probably a pointless task but who wants to live with stinkiness?. I cannot understand how an adult who is so attentive to his hygiene can not think to school his kids the same way. God knows what BM was doing. She is a dirty one anyone from what i've heard.

I digress.  The protector goes back on the pillow and the skirmish continues. And yes, before anyone says it, I AM rather obsessed by this. I think it's a manifestation of my total irritation and anger at his wider behaviour problems and attitude. (see my BIO)

Comments

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

The one thing that shocks me is the kids not learning to wash themselves... SD5 was EASY to teach. She's 5, so she already loves soap, so telling her she gets to cover her whole body in soap was probably the easiest thing to teach her. I only had to tell her once, I made sure to tell her to clean all the more important areas too. And boom, haven't had an issue since, and any rashes are a thing of the past (also probably helps that BM isn't around, but you know).

I get wanting things to be protected... That's so hard... And a HUGE part of the reason why I refuse to replace the mattresses until the skids learn how to take care of them... I'll come in there all the time and the sheets are totally off of them. I'll never understand... I got them sheets in their favorite colors to see if that would help even. So far nope! So I really hope you solve that quick! As you said, he's 18... You would think he'd have figured some of this out on his own already.

I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Any sight of him leaving any time soon???

MoominMama's picture

We are working on the leaving home. At the moment its all up in the air until at least another 2 months. We are trying to get him into the army as he has had work experience there in metal work (thats the course he has followed at tech school) and enjoyed it there.

We are waiting until he finished the work experience and school then we might get an idea what will happen. I might have to put up with another year if he has to do the extra year.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

I recently bought a couple of protectors that were pure cotton. They made a "crinkling" noise that was very annoying. I washed them several times with fabric softner and it didn't help. My husband didn't notice the noise, but I sure did. I had to return them. Is there a chance the cover is bothering him in some way?

Could you  try a cheap pillow and a different kind of cover? Get several covers and change them a couple of times a week?

MoominMama's picture

No, I'm not going to that level of concern over a person who lies, steals and ignores his own fathers birthday despite there being cards up and it having been mentioned in the days before. 

The cheap ones are the worst i find. This is a good one with a flock cover and is nice and soft. 

We are tired of pandering to his whims when he doesnt give a damn about anyone else.