SD16 the Star Student
Its hard for some people to understand the cruel behavior of SD16. They see a kid that is very outgoing, involved in sports, goes to youth group, gets all A's and B's, and keeps her room clean. In DH's eyes its proof that she is doing just fine and I'm probably overreacting. When he got her grades in the mail recently i agreed with him that they were very good grades. Still he had to find ways to ask me again what I thought of them. I was like I already told you she got very good grades. I said she worked hard and she should be proud. It was getting really annoying. Now I'm sure she probably has a free pass from him to do whatever she wants without question. After all, how could such an obviously good kid get into trouble or do anything mean intentionally?
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Why would anyone think that
Why would anyone think that being a good student and getting good grades equates to being a good person? SMH.
In this family I think it
In this family I think it means that they don't have to parent much. Sometimes if DH questions SD about her plans when she goes out with friends she launches a verbal assault about how good her grades are and so there is no reason not to trust her and it's a bad parent that's causing her mental distress by questioning her.
My OSS gets good grades,
My OSS gets good grades, doesn't get in trouble at school, part of youth group, etcetera and so forth.
That doesn't mean when he is being a sarcastic arse or being a bully big brother to YSS or is generally being a know-it-all teen that DH and I let the BS go. A bad attitude is a bad attitude regardless of grades and church.
Your DH apparently views a "good person" quantitatively. If someone does good things 75% of the time, then they are a good person. That is a flawed view of human beings.
Schools today have low standards
I tend to think that some areas the schools just let folks "squeek by", and with minimal effort get good grades.
My opinion only.
I wish my parents had made it
I wish my parents had made it that easy... I had straight As... I got an A- once and you'd think I murdered someone. 9 hour lecture and grounded for like a month...
Also I'm with CLove... Schools let people squeak by... DH was the star athlete... Even he admitted that teachers just gave him higher grades with virutally ZERO effort so that he could still play sports...
Good grades can still equal arseholes
getting good grades does not mean you are a decent human, well respectful of others, have manners etc and pleasant to be around.
ss20 got relatively good grades generally a B grade student and got a few A’s like accounting and other hard subjects but he still made excuses for everything and justifying being an arsehole.
sd22 graduated an honours degree in business with a credit grade averaging just under 70% for her degree, she’s a brainwashed narcissist just like her mum and feels she has authority to lecture her dad and dictate what others do and drop everything at a moments notice and change our plans for her.
She chooses when she she wants a relationship with dad which means she needs favours and help for something, otherwise complete silence like she does not exist in this world. She justifies her mums crazy antics blaming her dad as the cause.
People become arseholes because they want and choose to be, not because others make them arseholes
also getting good grades does not mean you have great life skills and make great life decisions.
I had great grades up until
I had great grades up until the 2nd half of senior year when I already had acceptances to university and didn't care anymore. I graduated 4th in my class. Yeah, I could have done better, but I didn't care enough - and there wasnt much in it point wise.
I was smoking and running around and would have done so much more if there'd been more to do in my podunk town. I was a nerd, but a naughty nerd.
I'm pretty sure I was the
I'm pretty sure I was the good grades must not need any real parenting kid. I am probably an ahole. Does admitting it count for anything? Might just be middle child syndrome though, too.
I am proudly the black sheep of the family. I have a hard time understanding our specific family dynamics. Or maybe accepting rather than understanding? There's a pretty hefty disconnect there.
I had to learn about adulting and boundaries on my own. I have a relationship with older sibling, estranged from younger, superficial with parents. Virtually non-existent with all but one of my extended family.
I would give a stranger in need the shirt off my back and my last dollar without a second thought. I joke that "I'm $_@%*÷ nice d@mn it!" But I've been told that I'm intimidating and my ability to place logic over emotion is a double edged sword. I'm not so sure any of that is true, though. I think it's more likely that I'm still fumbling through to find well adjusted.
I used to feel something (negative) about what I perceived as a lack of parenting. I grew up and realized I had the ability to change that and not be crippled by the excuse. Now I just feel sad that this is the best they could do. It is what they knew. Perpetuating the cycle and all that.
It is a tough pill to swallow when you realize your parents couldn't or wouldn't parent. Getting past that rejection is very difficult, I'm not so sure I really have (hence the black sheep).
I was probably an inconsiderate POS when I was on the brink of adulthood. Some of it because kids are aholes. Some of it because I was left to parent myself without a handbook. The what to expect series doesn't go up to raising yourself. But my high GPA and test scores came easy to me and I was a social butterfly that stayed out of trouble so I must have been okay and would figure it out if I wasn't.
So... there's a chance she'll get it. Eventually. If she's going to it will be delayed and she will be stunted. Or she just might be your run of the mill ahole with an uncanny emotional disconnect. *biggrin*