Not sure I can take much more.
I really am thinking of packing my shit and leaving. I love my husband, but the shit is getting deep. After the councilor today, SD went to BM's and proceeded to tell her BM and her Grammy that she didn't like to come to our house anymore (all while bawling her eyes out) because I hate her and I treat her differently then I do my two daughters. BM calls DH bitching about this. Really BM. No shit I treat SD different. SHE IS NOT MINE!!!!! If anything, I treat her better then I do my own kids trying to kiss her ass so that she wil still come and see DH. Do you WANT me to play mommy and take your place, because if that is the case, then I sure will because lord knows that I will do a better job then you.
I am so sick and tired of being the scape goat for this women. If she can't pinpoint something on DH, then it is me or my girls. It isn't worth it to stay in the situation when my kids are the ones who will end up having to suffer because of the things that this women is going around and telling everyone. It is mostly SD fault for playing both sides of the fence. I don't even want to have to be around her right now. I hate my life today and am ashamed that I have let BM and SD affect my life in this way, but no matter how many times that I say "chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on", it is following me around like a black cloud.
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Been here! I did soooo much
Been here! I did soooo much with both skids, I mean ALOT! And I swear if it wasn't one BM complaining about something DH and/or I did or didn't do it was the other. It beats you down. Shortly before BS3 was born, I got to the point where I said forget it... I'm NEVER going to make these people happy so I'm not going to bother. Let DH parent the skids, I'll worry about OUR kid and I disengaged. Shortly after that is when skids starting acting like assholes too. I have ZERO relationship with either one of them now and I just don't care. I'm not going to sit back and get treated like crap time after time after time and then do your laundry, buy you shit or sit in your room holding hands and signing Kumbaya.
What sucks the big one now is that SD15 moved in with us 2 months ago, so now she is in my face 24/7 (well thankfully I work full-time so I do get that break) and now I get to shell out MY money to help support a snotty little, entitled 15 year old who I can't stand.... hooray for me. NOT
This is exactly how I feel. I
This is exactly how I feel. I found my perfect partner in my boyfriend. He is so much a part of me. But when I think about the fact that linking myself with him forever means linking to HER forever and her horrible intrusive ways, I think about leaving sometimes.
You are so powerless in the way her presence affects your life. Think about it - I can tell anyone else in the world to F$%& Off and get out of my life. But I can't tell BM this without losing the man I love. In that way, I feel completely defeated. I just have to try to take the high road and not punch her in her big chin that deserves it's own zipcode.
I guess the question is how does your DH handle it? If he sticks by you and sees what BM is doing to manipulate the situation, he is a good guy. Mine would do that. If he always takes SD or BM's side - I'd already be packed up. Is it worth staying? That all depends on the guy.
He always sticks up for me.
He always sticks up for me. When she got pissed because I publicaly questioned her parenting he said "maybe you shouldn't do things to be questioned". He told her that no matter what she says, he will not choose to leave me or be angry with me because of it. He said that he would NEVER choose SD over his other two girls because he loves them all the same. He basically told BM to shove it, and for that I am thankful, but I am still heartbroken about why SD and BM both hate a person who has done NOTHING to them but be present in their lives. I think it is time for me to give disengaging another try. This time 100%.
They do it for the drama.
They do it for the drama. That's the payoff. Hurting you is a way to hurt your DH, too, and BM most likely hates him, so you get turned into a weapon.
Oh, I have been there. After
Oh, I have been there.
After a very tense weekend when SD was about 15, her BM called and left a message that SD would not be coming over anymore and if DH had any questions, she would be happy to answer them (which was just an invitation to do battle).
He knew it was a lose/lose situation so he did not respond. About 7 months later, SD wanted to resume her visitation.
I think they were both very surprised that he did not take the bait and call BM, but he knew what they were doing.